Is it really like this having a child?

Some children really do need their nap time at the same time every day, my children did or they would be exhausted!

Also it’s fair enough to only trust certain people when they are so little. I am lucky I have friends who can babysit and we used nursery staff too but not everyone has that option.

Your friend is making decisions she feels comfortable with, based around her child..very reasonably

Your friend likes routine and organization, which is good for her. You don't have to live like that if you don't want to, why would you? Her life isn't yours?

Surely you can imagine not all people with children live the same way?

My 5 year old has been on 12 flights, including 4 long haul. My 1 year old has already been to 2 countries.

I don't enjoy nights out so don't do them. If on a Saturday I wake up and want to go to the beach/zoo/museum, we go. Kids can nap in buggies. How much babysitting you get depends on your support network.

My kids are quite adaptable so don't need a strict routine but this obviously depends on the child, and what the parents can cope with in terms of behaviour if the kids are overtired.

No, it doesn't usually have to be like that. However, some parents do become slaves to their children's routines for various reasons. In some cases, it might be that the child has some kind of SEN or similar that makes them react very badly to their routine being changed. In others, the parents' own anxieties might be a factor.

I think you just have to accept that this is how your friend is going to parent, either by necessity or through choice.

I can relate to that. If DD hadn’t had a nap the night that followed was horrendous. Naps were precious for a variety of sanity preserving reasons.
Never had a babysitter either.

Everyone is different and each child is different.