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Original poster

How to deal with the anxiety of finding out you were the butt of a groups joke

211 replies

lookingforadvice24 · 03/06/2024 00:12

Looking for some advice of how best to deal with the anxiety I’m currently feeling.

I have a small business in a tiny city. I done some digital marketing training with an expert a few years ago who told me that the way the human brain works we are much more likely to engage with people than products and if you include yourself in your small business posts they are likely to get 200 times the engagement. I pushed my discomfort around it aside and powered on and plastered myself all over the internet. My business is doing really well and we have grown from just me to 12 employees in 18 months.

Someone I briefly knew posted on social media about starting doing content creation for businesses and I thought our content could do with being a bit more polished. I reached out, we met up and I explained my thought process behind me wanting to appear in the content off the advice of this marketing expert and how I now felt it was what I had built my business up around. The content was really good and she seemed lovely but it was demanding quite a bit of my time to get the content stuff done and I already felt totally at my capacity so I didn’t continue working with her.

Fast forward to today, I get a message from a friend saying the content girl had gone on a girls trip and she had heard from a girl on the trip that they played a game of seeing who could buy each other the silliest phone case. The girl told my friend that the content creators friend bought her a phone case with a photo of me on it. I then see she puts up a post of the trip saying ‘mine was the best but Isn’t for social media but it has someone very FAMOUS on it’ (the famous was in capitals) so they are obviously taking the piss out of my for my business content stuff I post.

I feel so humiliated, I am feeling anxious at the moment anyway waiting for the results from hospital about something serious and I just feel like this might be the straw to break me. I can bare the thought of being the butt of the joke like that. I just feel so embarrassed.

My business is my only income as a single parent and I believe the content stuff really works and is a big part of my businesses success. I can’t bare the thought of going back online tomorrow knowing they are all slating me in their group chats. It’s such a horrible feeling. These women are in their 30’s with daughters.

All my friends are sleeping to ask for advice at this time. Hoping someone on internet will be up to give any tips on how to try and forget this.

What can I do? How do I feel better? There is no point in confronting her is there? I barely know her anyway and it will just add fuel to the fire I would imagine.

Thanks for reading anyway x

OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 03/06/2024 00:34

No, don't do that, it would look self-pitying. Focus on the positive.

GrimDamnFanjo · 03/06/2024 00:34

lookingforadvice24 · 03/06/2024 00:31

Thank you for all the comments, it feels bizarre looking at someone who is gorgeous and imagining they would possibly feel jealous of me.

Could I address it on my stories tomorrow? Turn it into content that this happened to me and explain the reason behind why I do the content with the marketing woman and how sad it makes me feel as a mother of daughters that women are so desperate to drag others down.

Obviously wouldn't mention her by name, just briefly say I was made aware that I'd been made the butt of a groups joke for thinking I was famous and explain the reason behind why I do what I do and how sad it made me?

Absolutely don't do this.
Never work with her again and move on.

Original poster
lookingforadvice24 · 03/06/2024 00:31

Thank you for all the comments, it feels bizarre looking at someone who is gorgeous and imagining they would possibly feel jealous of me.

Could I address it on my stories tomorrow? Turn it into content that this happened to me and explain the reason behind why I do the content with the marketing woman and how sad it makes me feel as a mother of daughters that women are so desperate to drag others down.

Obviously wouldn't mention her by name, just briefly say I was made aware that I'd been made the butt of a groups joke for thinking I was famous and explain the reason behind why I do what I do and how sad it made me?

OP posts:
Saintmariesleuth · 03/06/2024 00:28

I don't think there is much to do here OP. It sounds very mean spirited of this group.

If your strategy is working for you and your business, keep it up.

It sounds like you have ended your working relationship, so take a mental note not to work with this person again, dust yourself off and put your chin up. Making any sort of social media comment will just look passive aggressive and petty.

Thelnebriati · 03/06/2024 00:28

She's shown herself up to be spiteful and immature. Its also really stupid for someone who runs a business to take the piss out of anyone, especially a potential client.
I wouldn't spend any time worrying about it - but I wouldn't put any business her way either. Chin up and take the high road!

Accbabymom1994 · 03/06/2024 00:28

Confronting her will only make her think you actually gave a shit , and people like her are irrelevant to your life .

Accbabymom1994 · 03/06/2024 00:25

I think u should just ignore it , she's probably jealous you are doing so well and bitter than you didn't work with her . You need to focus on your self and your children and ignore things in life like this. People will always hate on others if they are doing well only some will get happy for you and the haters don't matter .

Original poster
lookingforadvice24 · 03/06/2024 00:25

JMSA · 03/06/2024 00:20

Aww, I'm sorry this has happened to you SadFlowers However I think it's the risk you take when you put yourself out there in a very public way. There's always going to be bitter people around. You can't take it too personally.
Could you message her and in a nutshell, tell her what you've told us? Appeal to her better nature, and all that. She hasn't behaved professionally, but you can.
Good luck with it but in the kindest possible way, I think you're going to have to develop a thicker skin.

Yeah I just wonder what it would now change... part of me wants her to know that I know and just how it has made someone feel. I'd feel horrendous knowing I had made someone feel like that.

I'm all for a joke and a laugh and can sometimes take things too far myself but the printing me on the phone case. It just feels really nasty.

OP posts:
12LuDo · 03/06/2024 00:24

It may sound a bit cliché, but it really sounds as if they're being horrible and jealous because you're making a success of yourself in trying circumstances and they are shallow and mean. They're not nice people, definitely not worth giving a second thought to. Your strategy works which, given how hard it is to get any traction on Social Media these days, is amazing! I hope you get the results you are hoping for x

singingthypraises · 03/06/2024 00:24

Sorry this has happened to you. It sounds like there's some insecurities being brought up all round there. If she were genuinely confident in herself she wouldn't need to make fun of other women to make herself feel better. I don't think it was helpful of your friend to tell you either for what it's worth, though perhaps she thought it would be helpful. I would either respond to her post with a quick comment like, "glad to hear my merch helped you win!" and let it wash over you, or ignore and know that you have nothing to be ashamed about. The evidence is there that your business strategy is working without her anyway so her opinion or snarkiness is of no consequence. You don't need her to validate you, but she clearly needed you to validate her. Enjoy seeing your hard work pay off, you have earned the right to be proud of yourself.

JMSA · 03/06/2024 00:20

Aww, I'm sorry this has happened to you SadFlowers However I think it's the risk you take when you put yourself out there in a very public way. There's always going to be bitter people around. You can't take it too personally.
Could you message her and in a nutshell, tell her what you've told us? Appeal to her better nature, and all that. She hasn't behaved professionally, but you can.
Good luck with it but in the kindest possible way, I think you're going to have to develop a thicker skin.