How to deal with the anxiety of finding out you were the butt of a groups joke

Your 'friend' was wrong to tell you, and the content creator is unprofessional. Neither of those things reflects badly on you. Hold your head up high and ignore them. 💐

She’s clearly jealous of your success and pissed off that you didn’t continue to work with her (presumably you’d have been paying her if you’d continued, so she lost out on business). That has led her to bitch about you to her friends. Ignore her. Sad, pathetic, and very unprofessional. She won’t get far creating content for businesses if she bad-mouths former clients.

Also, surely publicity is good? Adverts are deliberately made so that people will remember them, and sometimes that memory is joked about. I remember me and my friends flicking our hair and saying, jokingly, “because I’m worth it” after the L’Oréal advert. I can still remember it decades later! So if people are talking about you, then they’ll remember your business when they need whatever it is you make.

Whatever you do, don’t post anything about it on social media. It looks like drama and people always avoid that. You’re a success, rise above it.

And develop a thick skin. Definitely don’t make a story about it. I see this a lot with young entrepreneurs on TikTok, but it’s not good for your credibility, honestly.

Look, you’ve grown your business really well. You’re a success. Hold onto it and stick to your plans to keep growing.

I have mentored people before and have seen entrepreneurs with solid businesses allow themselves to be derailed by their detractors or what their competitors do. In your entrepreneurial life you will get all sorts of distractions thrown at you. Maybe ask yourself if you can use this to improve anything, but don’t dwell on those thoughts unless they help you.

Don’t give her the headspace. Don’t allow your focus to drop. Block her on social media and just focus on doing what you do, because it’s clearly working.

God please don't.

t might help her to understand possible motives beyond "she's just mean" and it might help her to develop resilience if she doesn't take it to heart or too personally

Yes, thats a fair point. I agree.

I also agree with this.

As we have all said, the OP has made a brilliant success of her business in a short time but this has clearly knocked her.

It might help her to understand possible motives beyond "she's just mean" and it might help her to develop resilience if she doesn't take it to heart or too personally.

Your “friend” has absolutely no business telling you that

what kind of friend! she said something you could not change and that made you feel worse, it would have been much kinder of her NOT to tell you!

she is a shit stirrer and not the sort of friend anyone needs

you’d have been much better off not knowing

this “friend” does not have your best interest at heart

I totally agree.

And this woman will learn that sooner or later.

My point was not that it was ok but that it's not something the OP should be getting upset about or seeking revenge for.

Yes, her feelings are valid (before anyone comments on that) but it's no reflection on the OP or her business.

Sorry this happened, another one here genuinely impressed at your success and drive. I think it's brilliant that you've put yourself out there with the brand, despite it being contrary to your comfort zone. This other woman sounds like she's jealous you didn't need or want to work with her. She is taking rejection without dignity and spitefully.
You could make your own phone case similar... turn the joke around and make it a fun gimmick. Or a mug or something for videos. But keep it positive! People like working with positive people. You sound great, don't let one person change you or your winning ways.

What I think is likely to have happened is this.

1. your business has become successful quickly.

2. working for you might have been perceived as giving her, likely more fledgling operation, a boost.

3. you're clearly good at what you do and she might have hoped to get more work on the back of being involved with you.

4. it didn't happen. So she's likely to have been a bit disappointed by that.

5. her friend tried to make her feel a bit better about it by taking the piss a little bit. Making a joke to make her friend laugh and rasie her spirits.

No, it wasn't professional and no it wasn't kind but everyone has done similar whether it was a fledgling relationship that didn't work out or a job someone didn't get or any other kind of disappointment. People's friends try to make them feel.a bit better about it.

No, it wasn't nice but it's not the devsatating event some people are making it out to be on here either.

I would message her and thank her for the brilliant idea and ask to order ten for all your friends.

Great points.

I am so sorry this happened to you. It’s cruel and obviously fuelled by her envy of your brilliant success.
You were both speaking in a professional context and she has now chosen to make things personal and share information with other people who are not connected with your business. Personally I would be tempted to write to her formally and ask her to confirm she hasn’t shared any commercially sensitive information to third parties as it was an implied condition your business dealings would be confidential. Let her squirm.

This. I wouldn't be the tiniest bit impressed by someone who thought this was funny or clever.

I would be far more impressed by a single mum who had built up a successful business on her own.

Let's hope no one comes to you to ask you what you thought of her content advice, or for a recommendation?

Tbh, if she gave the OP a quote and the OP didn't take her up on it or didn't engage in her services any further, it was most likely to be a daft joke between them to make her friend feel a bit better about it

If you cant handle people not using your business in a mature manner then you shouldnt be running a business in the first place. Thats the nature of business lol - sometimes you win clients, sometimes you dont.

If I took time/effort to mock every single person who didnt use my business I'd spend 24/7 doing mean things. Business creation is about creating good relationships with people- sure, someone may not use your business right now, but if you develop a good relationship with them and keep the lines of communication open, they may well use your service later on down the line or recommend you to others. She's shot herself in the foot now for any potential customers the OP might know.

That is not someone who knows how to run a successful business if she's going to throw a tantrum every time someone declines to use her service.

It's very silly and unprofessional of the group, but remember, OP

She has absolutely no idea that you know this has happened.

I'd leave it, personally, and maybe, one day in the far distant future, if you run into her at an event, innocently ask her what she thinks about the idea of you adding phone cases to your merch line.

With a big smile. Then wish her a breezy goodbye as oooh look! there's someone over there you simply MUST chat to, they've been doing some fascinating work recently, byeeeeeeee

I think there are a lot of assumptions about this woman’s motivations in this thread! It wasn’t actually her that ordered the phone case was it? Perhaps when she was working with you she banged on about how great you were all the time and her friends are taking the piss out of her fangirling? Perhaps she constantly points out that she helped you with your content and how successful you are and her friends are ribbing her about it? Perhaps she was a bit hurt and deflated that you stopped working with her? Who knows?

It’s third hand information and I actually think you are projecting your own discomfort and insecurities about drawing attention to yourself through your content. Maybe you feel a bit of imposter syndrome or feel a bit silly or embarrassed about bigging yourself up on social media? Don’t assume the worst OP. It just sounds like a silly joke between friends.

Please do not put it on social media, Christ you don’t want your target market pitying you, as that’s the biggest sales turn off ever. And everyone will be thinking was she a bitch of were you giving it, it’s all about me.

You never burn bridges in business- the OP could have recommended her to others if she hadn't behaved like a 12 year old

Absolutely. OP- you are like Julia Roberts in pretty woman and this woman is the snotty sales assistant in the posh clothes store. She's an utter moron alienating potential clients like this and if she carries on with this behaviour, her business will fail. Noone wants to hire someone with those kind of ethics and childish behaviour.

Absolutely ignore it. I don’t understand why your friend felt the need to tell you about it. It sounds like the woman was annoyed you didn’t work with her.

Definitely DON’T make cryptic social media posts about haters or start asking why women don’t lift each other up. That could be confusing for potential customers / clients who have no idea of what you’re referencing and paints you in a bad light.

Definitely kill this with silence. The friend that told you isn't being kind, they are a pot stirrer. They all sound drama queen's and immature. You are vulnerable because of a health situation so please look after yourself and your MH and ignore these witches. I hope your results are good news OP and you managed some sleep.
Congratulations on your business and its growth, be proud and strong and keep your chin up. 💪 x

@lookingforadvice24 definitely think you are possibly overthinking this - without knowing the exact steps of who did what this could be something or nothing. You would need to be sure of what’s what and the only way to know is by asking. From your post, I’m not sure who posted about ‘FAMOUS’ - the content creator or one of her or your friends. If you can’t ignore it, if the curiosity is too much, you could message and say ‘just seen the post of me on the phone case, that’s hilarious, did you make more than one, if so can I have it’ and start talking (so she knows you know and maybe to rein it in - she won’t want to damage her own business) and find out that way. You might also then say ‘I enjoyed working with you and would consider doing more but I have some health issues under investigation at the moment but would like to work together again in future’ (even if you have no intention). Definitely don’t engage in posting publicly about it - that could
do more harm than good as others have said.

This may or may not have come from a place of ill intent. Or, she might have meant nothing by it and it’s got a bit out of hand and she regrets it. Try not to let it bother you if you can. She will look unprofessional, not you.

OP don’t imagine that everybody in the group is agreeing with her. If someone I knew did this, I would consider them mean, petty, spiteful and probably jealous. I would wonder why they had taken the time to do such a mean thing. She has shown herself to be unpleasant.

You will come out the bigger person. Do not react to it, however tempting.