How to deal with the anxiety of finding out you were the butt of a groups joke

No, do not do this. All it will do is bring attention to the mean girls and show them it bothered you.

Two things I would like you to remember:
Cream always rises to the top.
You cannot control what someone does or says about you, only your reaction to it. Which should be none.

It sounds like some kind of running joke aimed at the content creator, not you.

Maybe when she got you as a client, she bounced a few ideas off the rest of them, and one of them was a phone case. They they all took the piss as no-one is going to buy a phone case with the picture of a small business owner.

What kind of business is it @lookingforadvice24 ? I just wonder what you mean by "employ" when you say you have gone from just yourself to 12 employees.... as in with contracts, paying tax and NI, proving a pension etc? If so, then this whole situation needs to bounce off you. The woman is entirely irrelevant and clearly won't be duplicating your success.

I do wonder though if you mean "employees" like in a MLM. In which case if she's part of that world too then it's toxic AF. Best advice is to leave the whole sorry environment.

I also agree that the friend shouldn't have told OP what happened. It's such an unnecessary thing to do and serves no other purpose than to make her feel bad. I would never hurt a friend like that. DS1's friend did something similar recently, but at 15, he can be forgiven. But I did make sure DS knew that, while the information he received was hurtful, it might have been nicer of his friend not to mention it.

The content creator sounds like a dreadful, unprofessional and immature person and I wouldn't give her another second's thought. People like that never change.

But the OP (or indeed anyone not on the trip) would have had no idea what was being referred to if the blabbermouth gossip friend hadn’t told her.

I think it says more about her than it does about you. I mean that's effort to have your photo put on a phone case - if I was her friend I would be wondering why she is so over invested in you....reeks of jealousy. Take it as a compliment she has you on her mind so much!

Yes, the one who told her what was said is the one in the wrong, but still, I don’t think the content creator covers herself in glory if she posted on social media a cryptic post saying her gift was the best but can’t post what it is, seems like she’s on a piss take there, trying to provoke questions

I’d report her business if I’m honest. If she’s going around saying that about someone she’s worked with- she’s far from professional

You are so right CountingCrones - the loudmouth is to blame more than anyone. Imo she was shit stirring and it was nasty.
Over the years I have learned to ask ‘why are you telling me this?’ But when I was younger I would have been upset.

She's fuming you didn't work with her, sounds like you've been very successful and so might have been good for her but she fumbled the job so is taking the piss out of you to make herself feel better. She's refusing to see it was her poor service and pretending it's because you think you can do it better alone. Complete jealousy OP. If she comes up in conversation with any other businesses I would make sure to let them know his unprofessional she is. But other than that I'd ignore her

But the whole point of a behaviour is for an end goal, because it makes the people feel good in some way, that’s the point I was making.

By mocking the OP in front of others likely made the person doing it feel good for bringing her down, otherwise she wouldn’t have done it would she? Every action has a motivation.

Even if what was said wasn’t intended to get back to the OP, she posted on social media about it, she clearly got some satisfaction from that, did she not? She was mocking her for a reason.

Maybe the OP’s friend who informed her of it has ulterior motives? Who knows?

First, congratulations on building a successful business 😊
Absolutely do NOT rise to this bait. The posters who advise you to say ‘Thanks I’m glad my merch helped you win!’ Are right. It will take the wind out of their sails.
And way must you post anywhere what has happened and how you feel. Maybe post how flattered you are that some people think you are ‘famous’
It is very, very hard to rise above these things but, when you do, it feels fantastic!

Fuck that. I’d leave her an honest
review. Scorched earth and all that.

I’m so sorry @lookingforadvice24 - people can be so cruel. Hold your head up high - you are a successful woman with a beautiful family and should be so proud of everything you have accomplished. Best of luck for the test results, I hope all is ok x

Spot on.

It's the person who told you who did the mean thing, really.

This other woman was given the phone case as a joke by one of her friends. An inside joke on a group holiday.

She has absolutely no idea the OP now knows about it.

It wasn't done to hurt OP. It was done to wind up the content creator by her friend.

Now. Why did YOUR friend feel the need to tell you, OP? And how does she even know about it? If it's in the public domain you can ask that it be taken down, but it sounds like it was private.

So why did your friend tell you?

Agreed. It probably originated in her being annoyed the OP didn’t choose to continue to use her services, and offloading about it to friends, but it’s not very clear via hearsay exactly what happened on this trip anyway, and it’s not even clear the content creator did anything wrong, other than make a reference on SM to an in group joke. I don’t think the OP is some kind of public laughing-stock for this group or anything. Just that her ‘content creator’ isn’t terribly professional.

As everyone said, well done, OP, on growing your business. You will need to grow a thicker skin, as you will always meet begrudges/ snipers/belittlers.

If she was your content creator, the mastermind behind the content and you were fulfilling what she was suggesting, then this is a reflection of her surely?

Not in the slightest!

Haven’t you played stupid game with pals? The people playing the game didn’t expect OP to know about it.

Most Shit Present is a common game in groups. My teens and their cousins have been playing it for years at Christmas - stupid in jokes to make each other laugh, not intended for outside consumption. I played it when my pals and I were too skint for expensive gifts.

Free voucher for a weightlifting gym to a couch potato (me). Book of Bible quotes to the rabid atheist. Cassette of cover versions found in a charity shop for a music obsessive.

And in this case, giving a faked promotional item on behalf of a client who rejected their business to a marketing ‘guru.’

My niece mocked up an awesome Limited Edition Taylor Swift Barbie package with a one-legged Barbie in a leotard she’d found in a pile of rubbish when helping a mate move flats. She gave it to my DD, who’d been moaning about not getting Taylor concert tickets.

”Your very own Taylor Swift!”

Dd replied by getting her a (£3) ticket to a pub quiz at Samuel Taylors and free Eventbrite ticket to making a Swift nest box.
”I got you Taylor Swift tickets.”

I’m pretty sure Ms Swift doesn’t give a shite about either of these.

This situation upsetting the OP didn’t have to be a “cruel” joke, it was a joke between colleagues or friends.

It became cruel when some loudmouth tells the OP and implied she’s the butt of the joke, not the situation.

I have been in your exact position. I have a business and use social media to market it which often requires me to show up online etc. I’ve had exact same kind of mocking, sarcastic comments etc from people (mainly family members 🙃). It’s jealousy, pure and simple.

If you haven’t yet, go read or watch Brene Brown’s YouTube TED talk about daring greatly. She talks about how people who are “in the arena” aka putting themselves out there, trying something, making something of themselves, having to deal with people up in the gallery commenting, booing and generally being unsupportive.

It’s horrible but please don’t let it stop you from showing up in the way that is clearly working for you and your business to have had the amazing results you’ve had. I think I did subconsciously let the comments and attitude of some of my family impact how I showed up etc and I definitely pulled back (not to the complete detriment of my business but I often wonder what could have been had I not let their comments bother me so much).

Block that woman and if she ever reaches out, tell her you know about the phone case thing, point out how unprofessional it was of her and it has lost you as a client, referral and supporter.

good luck and keep going 💛

Every time they click on your profile or view your stories, they are pushing you up in the algorithms! Their shitty negativity is actually helping you.

I'd do a story thanking them for their engagement and interest, then hold your head high and be so proud of your amazing business.

They are jealous and small minded and get kicks from putting others down. You are a successful and creative businesswoman and mother 👑

Do it. You might as well get some exposure out of what she's done to you. Id go with the angle of "as someone who suffers anxiety it's really hard for me to show up in my videos but i do it because i think it's really important to be authentic and show you the person behind the business blah blah". You don't need to mention her but she's obviously following you. Appearing to be a bit vulnerable can be a really positive thing on social media for authenticity, reach and exposure.

Anyway, the only way to get seen on social media is to show your face. You're clearly doing the right thing - you've created 12 jobs - YOU did that. Who cares what that sad cow thinks of you. She's clearly bitter that you didn't need her help.

Don’t do this op, I’m sure you know it will ruin your business.

What’s the business op? It sounds a bit pyramid/MLM-esque?

Definitely don’t turn it into ‘content’, you’ll just make yourself look silly and immature. Ignore and carry on.

This is exactly what I would do! Take a leaf out of James Blunt's book - he manages to turn insults around and wins every time.