To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

@TizerorFizz my DH is also still doing some work, consultancy/advisory and academic research and writing. He enjoys it but keeps the amount he does under strict control.

Some people love their work! @Xenia loves her work. DH is doing some work at 70. He really enjoys it. We have more than enough to not work but he’s rather good at what he does! That aspect of life defines some people. And why not?

I don’t think working an extra year from 59-60 to help dc is a massive sacrifice. Of course a decision to retire knowing dc are going to struggle is me, me, me. It’s not a generous spirit.

I’m always intrigued at the level of control people in couples want to exert over each other. If my partner said he was retiring I would accept that as the starting point and have a conversation about what that looks like practically.

my partner probably will retire but still do part time consultation work. Instead of guilting him into working full time to give your daughter money, why not have a conversation about what his thoughts are for the next twenty odd years. He’s probs my got a plan and just hasn’t told you.

Ha, this.

I have always worked full time without a single break since 1983 and my state pension age was originally 60 and now will be 67 but after tax it will not even cover council tax and heating bills and I will work almost until I die

@Xenia are you not bitter about that? I sure as heck would be!

Mine pay high taxes to benefit others but other seem to take the piss and when will my dc get to retire?

🙄 No they pay taxes because it's the law and it's taken from their wages at source.

Not read the full thread but I'm on minimum wage with minimal pension if any pension at all.

Your daughter needs ti earn her money and save like everyone else has to.

My daughter is 21 and has saved £40k with her partner with no help from me, by both of them working their arses off since the age of 16 when they left school. They also do car boot sales and book annual leave from work in the summer to work at the festivals as marshalls or litter pickers to earn extra money.

Working till 62 (he's nearly 60 now) is not a big deal if you want to.

He doesn't.

Honestly curious as to why you jumped to such an aggressive tone. Without addressing my point. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mumsnet is very individualistic so you won't get many that agree with you.

The chips have fallen out in favour of the older generation so it does make sense to help out if you can afford it.

Your daughter is probably paying 9% extra tax in student loans, is facing enormously more expensive housing costs and won't get her pension until at least 68, probably older (even if she gets a generous public sector pension).

You don't have to help out, but I think it's important to acknowledge that we were lucky and it wasn't all due to hard work.

@Xenia Is there a man in your life? You have also paid all uni fees and expenses for 5 DC. You have given the house deposits haven’t you? How many of your dc own property? You have given more than anyone I know to dc. The OPs family possibly has not given anywhere near this. I agree envy gets us nowhere but I would certainly think working until 60 isn’t a big deal when we all know how difficult it is for young people to save and they cannot all commute.

Comparisons never make people very happy as there will always be someone better off no matter what your age. Everyone has to deal with where they are now and most people in a long life will have had difficult times - eg not many mumsnetters will be prepared to take 2 weeks of annual leave to have a baby in and go back to work which is what I did as in the 1980s did not have the 2 years of service needed even for the 6 weeks at 90% pay! Houses in outer London were so expensive my husband's school had to offer teachers cheap rent flats which is where we started in just get teachers to accept the jobs down here.

I have always worked full time without a single break since 1983 and my state pension age was originally 60 and now will be 67 but after tax it will not even cover council tax and heating bills and I will work almost until I die (I only have state pension as I cashed the one I paid into - I never had an employer private pension contribution in my life! - when I was 55 to give HMRC 45% tax on 75% o f it and the rest to the children for housing). I was happy to help my children (and 2 still live at home rent free) but that is entirely my choice and in my view from now on what I earn is my money and I will need to accumulate some savings to pay for old age care if I live that long - most people die in their 70s in my family. I am having the outside woodwork painted at present -today is day 15 - so a big job (3 men for 15 days so far); and older people also need to keep some of their money to pay for things like that and the bottom line it is their money and under English law there is no legal obligation even to leave money to adult children (although some rights to go to court for some cases but not many) - we have testatmentary freedom. I think Scottish law may have slightly different laws on obligations to adult children still in education.

OP?

Not sure if the OP is actually coming back but the numbers probably don’t add up to be paying for a massive deposit anyway.

so.. assuming the DH has many years of service he could be getting maybe 50% of his salary a year say a pension of £25k. After tax he’d be getting around £1800 a month for doing nothing. If he’s on 50k now he’d be having to pay into the pension as well (say 8%) he’d be getting around £3000 a month so around £1200 more. if he saved all of that they’d be able to gift £14k. Doesn’t really seem worth it to me to basically be working a full time job for a net benefit of £14k. I’d most definitely take the retirement on the maths alone regardless of all of the other issues.

So sorry to hear that.

My parents had a 12 year age gap. My father retired at 60 when mum was 48. My mum was planning to retire as early as she could manage. Unfortunately dad died suddenly at 67 when mum was 65 before they could enjoy any retirement together. This is much of the reason I retired at 58 when I got the chance, DH and I have a similar though slightly smaller age gap and I wanted to ensure this didn’t happen to us.

Just a reminder that those with occupational pensions have literally saved all their lives to grow their pension pot by paying in as an employee. In my industry the employer contribution is also a top slice of our annual pay settlements. The person working hard to fund the pension is not some mythical future young person, but the actual pensioner.

My dad retired at Christmas and was diagnosed with terminal cancer in January. He now has months left and both his and my mum's days are filled with hospital appointments. You never know what life will throw at you, if he can retire early and enjoy himself after working hard for many years he should do that.

Quite.

@TizerorFizz
So what's your solution to this? People shouldn't retire when they've earned it and keep working to pay more tax? Which also ties up a job that someone else could move into, and increase the amount of tax they pay?

As well as an increase in life expectancy there is a declining number of jobs out there (that also pay more than min wage, and so enough tax). That's because of more automation and technology, resulting in less "man power" being required.

Your logic is that older generations are living longer so need to work longer. But what's the knock on effect there? Have you thought that bit through?

You are excellent at describing problems. Try coming up with solutions.

Some of the happiest 60yo I know are retired on a good pension.
Some of the most miserable had to go back to work i nsome capacity.

Also, where does the 30years of non earning- this is money already earned. Some of it may also be in very bad healthy, why not enjoy when you still can.

For me it would depend on why dc were renting.

Working and saving hard, dealing with some life issues that are beyond their control but have limited their ability to save - yes I think I'd work longer to help.

Renting due to poor life choices - no I don't think I'd see it as my responsibility to help them out. Would they work full time for a year to help me out?

But ultimately he needs to make his own choice and I don't think it's very supportive to make him feel guilty about something that should be an exciting time, and for which he's planned carefully.

30 years of not earning. I’m afraid we have a declining workforce and a declining birth rate. What happened for me is not the same as now! There are fewer actively working. Not sure why people haven’t read up about this. Fewer people paying tax and more services to spend it on as people are living longer. It’s hardly rocket science is it? We need people working and much greater productivity.

Exactly. Also, depressing that for so many people, doing literally any amount of any work is incompatible with “enjoying yourself/enjoying your life.” The happiest 60-somethings I know continue work on moderated/reduced schedules or part time while enjoying their free time and holidays as well.

I always think of threads like this when I see people (especially older people) complaining about immigration levels in the UK. I have centrist/neutral views on immigration, but like everything else, it’s ultimately about trade-offs; if the British want to have less immigration, you are all going to have to get used to the idea of working a lot longer, especially people in public sector roles like the OP’s DH. No more cosy retiring at 60 because “I’ve done my bit and I’ve earned it.”

How about the daughter working two jobs?