To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

Well my parents didn’t give me naff all. Let him retire no one knows what’s around the corner

People saying older people had it easy are generalising. I have certainly had a good life despite the 2 week maternity leaves but we did spent 50% of each of our net incomes in 1984 on full time childcare for example which did not feel a time of loads of money. We also sold our last house at a loss in the 1990s crash and paid huge stamp duty in 1997 ( it had doubled from 1996) and I was too young to benefit from mortgage interest tax relief in any meaningful way as it had been allowed to wither on the vine to not being worth much when we were buying particularly compared to very high SE house prices in the 80s and 90s.

The legal issue in England is parents can choose what if any help they give an adult child. It is entirely up to them and as I believe in a liberal free society where people can be different but each right in their own choices, that is fine. You are not wrong whatever you do. I will not and do not look after my grandchildren as I work full time. I have however chosen to help them with housing including for the last remortgaging the house to afford that and giving up my own SIPP to HMRC and the children - I repaid the mortgage last year. I now feel in a phase now only 2 adult children live at home of starting to save up some money for old age care (if I need it) - my father spent £130,000 in NE England on day and night dementia care in last year of his life - he died at home and needed 2 people (due to lifting issues) by the end. One reason I remortgaged was so I could be done, over with, finished in supporting any of the 5 children. A bit like my parents who said we pay for your education and then you are on your own, I feel similarly other than I chose to help a bit with housing. Now they are on their own. When I die the state gets just about half of everything but the rest goes to the children equally although if Labour get in I suppose we might even get put up to a higher level than 40%. I see the highest estate duty (IHT) in 1949 was 80% https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_inheritance_taxes_in_the_United_Kingdom

What hours do you work OP? How long are you going to continue to work so you can give your children money? I think your husband should retire if he can. Our local newspaper obituary page is full of people who die in their 60's. Plus he'd be leaving a vacancy for a young person to fill.

What if you have multiple kids? Wil you let him retire at 70? All ages struggle to buy it’s part of the journey. We had no extras we ate from scratch no new clothes. When money ran out it was tough. When we moved in it was lean times . The feeling of pride that all the struggle was paying off was great. It’s been bloody hard at times but it’s all ours . Most working class families don’t get handed cash but get support in other ways . We raised our kids to be hard working and make their own choices.

Lots of reasons not to stay in wirk, saving up for adult DC is not one of them.

In my experience it seems better to take a pension when offered without penalty, do for some people that will be 60, others later.
Not taking it risks pension providers changing the rules

Lots of my friends retired at 60 and have great lives, I'm really jealous as for us it'll be work til we drop, but such is life.

When did you buy your home @BeaRF75? Because if it was before house prices went crazy, and you did it without leaving uni with massive debts (or at a time when a degree wasn’t necessary for most jobs as it is now), then you are not comparing like for like.

I think young people have things so hard these days. I wouldn’t hesitate to work a few extra years to help my DD because it will be much harder for her than it was for me.

I would do whatever I could to help my kids but that is my choice and I don't think it is unreasonable for your husband to want to enjoy a longer retirement.

So poster's on here will have to make sure they are not spending much as they will be working for a very long time as their kids will need money so they need to be warned they wont be retiring early

Both my parents were dead by early sixties. I would not have accepted the gift of a deposit as I was fiercely determined to make my own way. I just worked extra hours as did my husband although we were lucky that deposits didn't need to be as madly huge as they do now.

No way would I work an extra year to eighteen months to give any of my three the money. It’s too late now for your circumstances, but we saved the Child Benefit for each child in the Trust Fund accounts and then moved them to Jr ISAs - eldest had a pot of just over £25k when he turned 18 and it’s remained in ISAs ever since. The girls will have a similar amount. That’s pretty much it from us for now. Maybe something later but I wouldn’t work longer than I need to so that my kids didn’t have to rent. That’s up to them.

You are being ridiculous . If your husband is financially able to retire and wants to, that’s his right. I have three kids, in their thirties- all own their own homes. No financial help from anyone. They and their partners have the satisfaction in knowing they achieved this through their own hard work and not handouts

Well, against the grain here, but yes I do think he is selfish it is lovely to be be able to give kids leg up in this financial environment .

What a cheeky you have!
Work longer yourself and gift the kid the money if you feel that strongly about it!

People on here really don’t get the reality of the difficulty in home ownership for the younger generation.

It's not only the young though. There's around 2 million private renters over 50 (and 4.6 million people 50 and older still having to pay off mortgages).

I quoted from statistics in my previous post (that inequalities within older generations are some of the most extreme).

Generalisations by age are unhelpful and detract from the real issue. The real issue is as MrsSkylerWhite says
The shameful lack of social housing.

You're a loving mother and I would ask hubby the same, at the same time respecting his decision not to agree to do it.

grumpypedestrian · Yesterday 07:21
People on here really don’t get the reality of the difficulty in home ownership for the younger generation.
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Reality is a lot of people will have been forced to live in multiple homes, so gone through the financial and emotional stress of being forced to move through no fault evictions.
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The property ladder concept is outdated and no longer works for younger generations due to rental prices and deposits.
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I absolutely would help our child, we’ve been through the same (both mid 30s) and have experienced the difficulties ourselves.
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The ‘just work harder’ idea just shows how out of touch with reality some people “

Oh stop it. Of course we do. Ours are 29 and 21.

we are currently going through the downsizing process and will gift them each a reasonable sum when we complete (which our parents were not in a position to do).
Our eldest is married with one child and owns their own home through help to buy. Our youngest has just finished their degree and is looking for their first professional role.

My husband is 65 and disabled, works full time. I’m 60 and able bodied. We’re mindful that at some point we will probably need professional help, which we will pay for with what we have left.

The idea of home ownership was a dream to both of us when we were 20. Both sets of parents lived in lifelong council tenancies.

That's the issue. The shameful lack of social housing.

Husband has the right to make his own life choices.

Didn't bother clicking on the 'boomer economics' thing because these sort of sweeping generalisations always ignore the significant minority of that age group who have always struggled financially and still do. Even worse, their plight is almost always ignored, because to many people they don't exist due to the false narrative of "all boomers are rich". And it's not usually down to 'poor life choices' and more because in every generation there's people who've had shit life events happen, and also there's lots of low paid jobs that someone has to do.

The man who seems to be presenting those YouTubes clearly is in a privileged bubble and is either assuming everyone is the same as him, just because they're a similar age, or deliberately ignoring the unlucky people of his age group.

As I said earlier on this thread, if people want to generalise,The age group in the most relative poverty is 60-64

Although personally I don't like generalisations, by age or anything else, as there's too much variation within groups. As this below shows

The other noticeable trend is that inequalities within older generations are some of the most extreme in society.

Did someone gift you a deposit when you were starting out? It’s good for people to earn their own money and forge their own way in life, not be bailed out constantly by the bank of mum and dad. Why should your dh work longer to subsidise your dd? I’m assuming he’s worked all his adult life, he’s entitled to retire when he’s ready.

Why would you look after grandchildren every day? So many odd views on here. No recognition that helping is a nice thing to do. Most families pull together if they can. Of course people need some time to themselves but all this anger directed at their dc isn’t what I see in daily life.

Same here! Retired at 55…never a dull moment!

This is a bit like my husband thinks I’m ‘tight’ because when my daughter has kids in the future, I don’t want to look after babies and toddlers for 10 hours a day so that her life can carry on as normal. It was a ridiculous suggestion of mine to suggest that he could bloody well do it then, but there you go.

It's his life and his choice , just like you have choices as does your daughter.

My DH is retired - he can do what he chooses - his DF died at 61 , my Mum at 64- I have had a cancer scare in my 50 s and intend to retire in next couple of years and enjoy the rest of my life

Will I help our teenage DS16 - probably - because I want to - that said. I expect he will work and save and want us to enjoy our retirement together not expect us to fund him

Not selfish at all! What’s selfish is expecting someone to postpone his retirement for this. It’s great to be able to help out your kids where possible but certainly not at the expense of one’s own happiness. Your husband deserves to be able to retire early if he wants to because he’s clearly worked hard to get to this point. Perhaps you can work an extra 2-3 years or so to help out if it really worries you? Helping out financially is a lovely thought…I would definitely help my children out if I was in a position to do so but it shouldn’t be expected of me and I certainly wouldn’t be postponing my retirement to do so.

bravo