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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

588 replies

Lesbeavinu · 02/06/2024 22:45

Dh has decided he is going to retire at 59. He has a great government pension and private pension/savings. He earns a decent £50k a year (same as me) and we have no mortgage.

I said that dh should continue working for another year or 18 months and gift the money to dd for a flat deposit.

OP posts:
Holluschickie · 02/06/2024 23:10

TheFunHasGone · 02/06/2024 23:07

Gen x are age 44-59 , I've never seen a post about them needing money from their parents

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You are absolutely right. I am Gen X. I meant Gen Z expecting money from Gen X.

About 10 posts a day wondering why adults are not being subsidised by their parents.
DH is likely to retire by 58 and if DC have to rent, it's their problem frankly. I don't see renting as that awful.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 02/06/2024 23:09

TheFunHasGone · 02/06/2024 23:07

Gen x are age 44-59 , I've never seen a post about them needing money from their parents

Show quote history

Right?! at 59 the OP’s husband is solidly GenX.

Leave us out of this we earned our own way.

Hellodarknessmyfriend · 02/06/2024 23:08

My husband and I are long-term renters at 43 and 48 and, despite both working ft, we have zero chance of ever owning our own home. It's a huge financial struggle.
My parents (both early 70s) live in an expensive four-bed new build with rooms going spare as it's just them. My dad took early retirement at 55. They have no mortgage.
Our financial situation is not their problem.

TheFunHasGone · 02/06/2024 23:07

Holluschickie · 02/06/2024 23:02

Honestly nearly all the posts these days are about how Gen X aren't getting enough money from their parents.

Yes it's difficult in this economy. That doesn't mean parents should give up all joy to help their kids.

Gen x are age 44-59 , I've never seen a post about them needing money from their parents

BashfulClam · 02/06/2024 23:05

RoseBucket · 02/06/2024 22:49

Do you work?

She says she earns £50k in the OP. Do people never read the OP these days?

saltinesandcoffeecups · 02/06/2024 23:05

Here’s an idea… 💡

Your husband retires… you with your unmentioned livelihood stays out of it, and your fictional kids support themselveslves!

Other than that I’m just here for the comments

Deer Popcorn GIF
OhHelloMiss · 02/06/2024 23:04

Why can't your DD work for her own deposit?

Alittlelostinlifeisi · 02/06/2024 23:04

No one ever gave me any handouts nor would I expect them and I floated own boat nicely. On the other hand, baby sibling got lots of handouts and squandered a lot of easy got money and still expects handouts for more of the same. I think I know which I’ll be doing with my children tho I know it is hard to see children struggle. Have to be cruel to be kind, I need to learn that yet 🙈

Overthebow · 02/06/2024 23:03

£100k joint income and no mortgage, surely you’ve already saved towards your dds house deposit? How long until he’s 59?

Holluschickie · 02/06/2024 23:02

Honestly nearly all the posts these days are about how Gen X aren't getting enough money from their parents.

Yes it's difficult in this economy. That doesn't mean parents should give up all joy to help their kids.

Ferngardens · 02/06/2024 23:01

My dad died at 64 and couldn't help me out with a house deposit anyway. You know what's better than money, or at least it sounds like your partner does

TwattyMcFuckFace · 02/06/2024 23:00

There'll be plenty of time for DD to get his money when he's dead.

Meanwhile he should enjoy his much earned retirement while he's still able to, and your DD should pay her own way in life while she's still able to.

echt · 02/06/2024 23:00

YABU completed unreasonable because you've generalised about all parents in your thread title when it's just a problem, in your mind, with your DH.

SoEmbarrassed2024 · 02/06/2024 22:59

BeaRF75 · 02/06/2024 22:51

Or he could enjoy his retirement, given that he has worked hard for years. And your adult child can save up for a deposit just like we all had to. This infantilising of capable working adults just because they are your offspring is absolutely crazy..... this gentleman has more than done his bit.

Completely agree. And if it's so important to you OP, would you be prepared to work for an extra couple of years to give DD the money?

KohlaParasaurus · 02/06/2024 22:59

All my kids are still renting. I'd have had to work into my nineties to save enough to give them all house deposits.

(That's a YABU from me.)

grumpypedestrian · 02/06/2024 22:57

Do you work OP? Would you be able to gift your daughter money from a salary you earned?

I agree you could both do more to help your daughter financially. Those saying your child should just ‘work harder’ are being incredibly naive about how difficult it is to save in this economy.

Thisbastardcomputer · 02/06/2024 22:56

I retired at 50 because my works pension allowed me to, I gave my only child the money for the deposit for his property.

I feel this 'child' resents me and all I stand for but took the money,

WindsurfingDreams · 02/06/2024 22:55

Are you going to delay retirement to gift money to them?

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 02/06/2024 22:54

TeenLifeMum · 02/06/2024 22:50

True, 59 is very young. I’d just be worried dh would be bored and get depressed.

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lol - dont worry about being "bored."

We both left aged just over fifty within the months f each other - one was palneed and the other was in years time but had a medical scare and thought stuff that and we were going to leave when we had out first grandkid and that was around the corner

if you can afford to leave early, leave and enjoy your life, get routine etc - grandkids really help pas the time if they live within walking distance or few mins by car

Soontobe60 · 02/06/2024 22:53

Both my DDs had bought their first homes well before I turned 60. I helped them both with deposits. They haven’t needed any money from me for a good few years and both would be mortified if I had continued to work past 60 just to give it to them.

Cucumbering · 02/06/2024 22:52

Haha! He can retire if he wants at 59. His choice.

Rubbishconfession · 02/06/2024 22:51

YABU. Get your own job and pension.

BeaRF75 · 02/06/2024 22:51

Or he could enjoy his retirement, given that he has worked hard for years. And your adult child can save up for a deposit just like we all had to. This infantilising of capable working adults just because they are your offspring is absolutely crazy..... this gentleman has more than done his bit.

Tel12 · 02/06/2024 22:51

Hell be getting a lump sum, he could gift that.

Doyoumind · 02/06/2024 22:50

I could see myself working longer than I need to if my DC could benefit from it. However, I think YABU to expect your DH to do so.