To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

Ironic that the surge in Boomer and Gen X BTLers is a part of what has fucked property affordability for people your sons’ ages…

Is this some sort of odd reverse? Are you the daughter?

No, he shouldn’t keep working. Your adult children can save for their own bloody deposit.

“Just like we all did”

No, it isn’t the same at all, it is much harder for young people to buy a house now than older generations. Much much harder. Spiralling house prices, wage stagnation, cost of living. And most of them won’t get to retire until they are late 60’s, probably 70’s.

I agree with you OP. I would definitely continue working, and I know my husband would too, to help our kids out. Anything else is very individualistic.

Agree OP. Its nearly impossible to buy a house now without any help from parents. We bought our first home with little bit help from my MIL. Now me and my husband we are in our 40s and we bought a buy to let house, hoping when we sell it in the future, it will help both my sons to climb property ladder someday. I really scared both of my sons cannot afford to buy a house in this economy.

Um I want to know about the 50k job that's an easy 9-4 as I'd quite like to work towards one...

🍿 here to await more info on OP’s age and retirement plans and gifting plans.

This is a very strange post.

Maybe she's not answering any of those questions because she gave you all that information in her very first post? How embarrassing for you.

OP, I think if this is important to you, you should be the one working for another year or two to give her the money.

No , he’s not being selfish , leave him alone ffs .

I don't see renting as that awful.

I found it fine when I was young. Athough tbf it was easier then. Sounds a lot more stressful nowadays. It's definitely awful when people are older or have DC, and have a need to be settled. People can't settle when private renting (social housing is different and provides security).

However many parents can't afford to help. DH and I hope we'll be able to help our DC when they're adults but we don't yet know if we'll be able to. OP's DH obviously feels unable to keep going at his job. Maybe it's more stressful than OP knows about or maybe he's just exhausted after years of working. OP can continue to work and help her DD, if she wants and is able to though.

I've said it on other threads but it can't be repeated enough. The real issue with housing is the need for more social housing. It would solve a lot of problems.

She said in her op that she earns the same as her husband, so it seems she does work and earns .

I see you are not answering any questions on what your salary is and if you work. Answer make up the shortfall yourself if you're not happy.

My FIL retired at 60 and died the year after. Enjoy yourself: it’s later than you think.

Actually I think MN gospel is that even if parents give their kidneys to help out, it's not enough!

You'll get roasted OP, MN gospel is that all wealth is "hard earned" and it is a parent's duty to stand back and watch their adult children struggle.

Personally I think it's bullshit. This generation categorically have it harder. Our rough goal is to try and level the playing field a bit between our position and theirs - we were able to buy our first flat in the South East on decent but not remarkable graduate salaries in our early 20s, and slowly move up the ladder from there. We were careful but comfortable and had no barriers financially when we had our children in our 30s.

We've been fortunate and should hopefully be in a position to retire at a similar age to your DH is proposing while still helping out young adult children with a contribution to deposits. But if things change then yes absolutely I would consider working longer if health allows and it makes the difference between our children being able to achieve housing security and consider children of their own, if they want to.

If he wants to retire at 59 that's his choice. I presume you'll continue to work and you can give money to your daughter if you want to. I imagine you also have savings on that income with no mortgage. I hope he has a long and happy retirement.

If he has a good public service and private pension he will get a big chunk of cash tax free, maybe he plans to gift her some of this?

YANBU to want to help your daughter.

YABVU. There comes a time when children have to stand on their own two feet. There is nothing wrong with helping out, but no, if someone wants to retire then they should do it when THEY want to.

Yes I have said its a typo! Wish I could go back and edit.

If all parents stopped this ridiculous practice where up to 6 salaries contribute to a single deposit, and buyers were left to buy what they could afford themselves, it might start driving house prices down for everyone, including those who don’t have access to a lot of other people’s hard-earned money to fund their first purchase.

If OP's husband is 59, he's just about Gen X, I think. So I assume the DD is a millennial. (Not that I personally like generalising by age group because there's wide variation within any age group).

ETA as I cross posted with others pointing that out.
But regarding Gen x are age 44-59 , I've never seen a post about them needing money from their parents

There's about 2 million people over 50 private renting. Although it's not for them to ask their parents for help to buy, and tbh it's unlikely anyone still renting at that age has parents able to help (assume if their parents had the money they would've helped before their kids got to 50), I can understand why someone over 50 might wish, however unrealistically, that they could have help. Unlike OP's DD, who's presumably in her 20s or 30s and has time to save more or get a promotion, those Gen X who're still private renting are unlikely to ever afford to buy.

I understand how you feel OP. We all want our DC to be ok housing wise, but it's unfair to expect your DH to delay his retirement. You could work longer though if you want to.

Or maybe your daughter could work for it and earn her own money for a deposit like everyone I know had to do. I could have given my kids the money for their deposits but I didn't, because me forcing them learn to save and work for what they want is a far more important gift than just handing them money they didn't earn.