To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

DS lives his own life like we did when we were younger, when we retired hasn't anything to do with his life, though maybe I should ask him for money to help with our retirement as he has more than us, surely it should work both ways.

How would you feel if he continues to work and gets a terminal diagnosis before he has chance to enjoy any kind of retirement?
We are going to have to work until the lunchtime on the day of our funerals just to keep ticking over but given the choice I would stop working right now (I am 40).
Through luck or management your husband has the option to get off the treadmill and you're calling him selfish for not further funding his adult daughter, I bet he feels great knowing his wife wants him to work endlessly to fund other adults 🙄
Your daughter will, I assume benefit from a generous inheritance when you are both gone, I don't think she's headed to the workhouse if your husband retires soon.

Why can’t you gift your salary if you feel that strongly about it?

The amount of people on this thread who are incapable of reading a really short OP is shocking! She clearly states that she also works and earns 50k, the same as her husband.

I am also amazed at the clueless people who retired in their 50s and don't understand the different financial situation that subsequent generations are in.

Have my first biscuit. You have achieved peak MN @Lesbeavinu

we gifted them money later as they did not ask or expect

so bloody British. Expecting js one thing, but what the hell is wrong with asking for the things you want/ need in life? I think our society would function a hella lot better if we taught our kids it’s ok to ask. (Then equally taught them it’s ok to hear/ say no).

(sorry a bit of a derail of thread topic).

Is it really low stress work? Yes remote working is perhaps easier than commuting (I actually prefer my commuting days) but unless you shadow all of his work activity how could you know how stressful it is? I have days where I might look serene while WFH but I've been silently firefighting 500 emails and having to carefully negotiate with various parties to get a project signed off.

If that's what you want to do, your choice. He doesn't and wants to retire, and can retire. I'd say it really isn't up to you, but assuming you're younger, if you'd like to do this, that's your choice. What's age do you plan your retire?

I mean, it would certainly be a generous thing to do, but I think it’s the kind of thing he would have to think of on his own and truly want to do.

Be glad he’s retiring while he’s still healthy enough to enjoy retirement, OP. My dad is in his mid-70s with Parkinson’s disease and he still works.

And what is it that you do OP?

popcorn

Reality is that in some areas it’s extremely difficult for young people to get a deposit together, it means people are paying mortgages into their 70’s because they are getting on the housing ladder so late.

Honestly yeah DH and I would put in a few extra years to get DC a deposit. Also means they are slightly less likely to boomerang back home.

This. 100%.

Why can't you gift DD the deposit or work till you 100 to buy her a diamond necklace?

I retired five years ago a few days before my 58th birthday on voluntary early severance package. Not for one second have I been bored or depressed! No kids to feel guilty about either!

YABU OP. DD should simply give up avocados instead.

Yes. Did you own your property? Should have given him that too! Tut tut.

No. This has to be a reverse of some grabby entitled fully adult kid surely?

I retired at 55, my son was renting. Bloody hell, should I have carried on working and given him all my money?

My Mum worked an extra two years beyond what she wanted to in order for them to have nice holidays. She got two years of retirement under Covid restrictions then enjoyed 6 months with my Dad retired too before she became ill and died suddenly. I’m glad those extra two years she worked weren’t for my benefit or I’d feel horrendously guilty about that.

Nobody is guaranteed a long retirement. As long as he can afford it, it’s up to your DH when he wants to retire.

Actually I think MN gospel is that even if parents give their kidneys to help out, it's not enough!

^^This!!

Or he can retire like he's perfectly entitled to and your daughter can earn the money herself like lots of adults do either without contribution from or with a smaller contribution from their parents.

You should continue working if your that bothered, why make him do it?! Seems rather selfish of you in relation to your husband, let him retire!

The mind boggles

*Femme2804 · Today 00:03

Agree OP. Its nearly impossible to buy a house now without any help from parents. We bought our first home with little bit help from my MIL. Now me and my husband we are in our 40s and we bought a buy to let house, hoping when we sell it in the future, it will help both my sons to climb property ladder someday. I really scared both of my sons cannot afford to buy a house in this economy*

Good grief - the cognitive dissonance of someone who’s bought a buy-to-let in addition to the house they live in bemoaning inflated house prices.