To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

That information was in the original post and so isn't a question that needs answering.

You never know how long someone will live to enjoy their pension. The earlier he can retire, the better.

If he is ready to retire then he should.

Child should work. Or you can gift it.
It builds character for people to save and get on their own two feet.
Good on the husband, he should retire.
He worked hard for his money and pension savings.
A friend of mine who is 58 and worked his entire life has just been diagnosed with cancer with a few years to live.
Another friend died on his 60th birthday.
You need to think of your husband.
Time is invaluable.
Your daughter can always work harder for money and money will come and go. But health won't.
My father passed at 62 and my grandmother at 64.
So let people make their own decisions. You husband has so let him enjoy.
Life is short.
Oh and just to add, a work colleague passed at 37.
One of work colleague has retired early at 50. With a million in his pension pot. Was going to travel. He died. At 50.
Time is precious.

We retired before 59, best thing we ever did. Spend our time in warmer climes. The kids are now in their 20s. Its up to them to save money , not us. Feel sorry your your husband thinking he should work to subsidise them.

We started off paying 15% interest on £15,000 with 18% on a top up loan as it was called. However house prices were not such a stretch. So yes, higher interest rates and mortgage relief, but much cheaper housing.

@Cyclebabble I don’t quite understand why they, as a couple, haven’t discussed this earlier in terms of supporting DD. There’s a huge gap on this thread with many not understanding how high rents are. Way more than we ever experienced. Also wages have been pretty static. Hence strikes by many government workers. They might be adults but they don’t earn enough to save £20,000. It’s unfortunate but true for very many DC.

@Proserphina I worked for 27 years plus a few more doing casual work. However I’m happy to say DH did very well and has worked for 50 years next month! I supported his business by doing nearly everything else. So between us we’ve put in a shift. My father worked for 58 years.

I hear you Zenia. At one point we were paying. 14 percent interest. Struggle isn’t always negative it gives u a blue print. Also no one giving advice because they gave out a lump sum to help. Each generation has a good bit and a hard bit .

"Clearly, you would not have felt it necessary to pay for all your DC's uni fees and give them all large house deposits if things were the same as they were in the 1970s/80s." Kind of - my parents made my tiny minimum grant up to the maximum (and paid school fees before that) but I do accept they in effect paid half what people today have to pay. Yet only 15% of my generation went to university so people may age mostly are worse off on the university front not better off as they had no chance to go. I think my parents gave a bit of help to my siblings for housing and I was married and my husband's parents helped him with his first house before we married so I don't accept in my case there is a vast difference. I have given more for housing because I happened to be quite successful in my work than my parents not least because wages rose in real terms from initial £6250 salary in 1983.

However born in the 60s I don't feel like some kind of blessed generation with easy access to buying a property in London. We couldn't afford inner London, I took 2 weeks off to have a baby as we needed the money. We spent 50% of net pay in 1984 on full time childcare. We sold properties at a loss in the 90s. It has n ot been some really easy bed of rose. I h ad £1.3m of mortgage at one point and was paying ou £90k a year interest only after my divorce in about 2004/5. Before that in the 190s we had Black Wednesday and at one point interest rates of 17%. It hasn't really felt really easy to buy properties to me for most of the period of my life. We couldn't even afford Ealing in the 1980s as it was so expensive - we were both from the North.

If DH retires, one assumes the OP will work and be the main earner! Possibly she’s a bit younger. If both retire early, that’s quite a drop in earnings. I think the DH isn’t doing a manual job. He’s working from home so a year is hardly a big deal.

So what if she is the main earner, if you're right and she is younger then she would have known this would happen. DH is older than me and he retired 3 years ago, it was hardly a surprise!

I don't do a manual job but believe me an extra year would be a big deal. I wouldn't do it for the benefit of someone else who was capable of working. I don't have kids but there's no way I would delay retirement to support DH's adult kids.

If the OP wishes to give I think that is fine. I would have expected as a couple that they would have discussed some years ago what they would be doing to support DD and how-together- they would be funding this. Even in retirement some support for the daughter should be possible. In your late 50s people can be in very different mental and physical states. Even if the job is "cushy"- be interested to see if DH would agree with this- people can be tired and need to rest. On a fairly high combined income and no mortgage it should be possible to provide DD with some support and retire with good planning.

How old are you and how many years have you worked for?

If DH retires, one assumes the OP will work and be the main earner! Possibly she’s a bit younger. If both retire early, that’s quite a drop in earnings. I think the DH isn’t doing a manual job. He’s working from home so a year is hardly a big deal.

Also no one talks about the joy of giving. Most of us get pleasure from giving. It’s why we do it for birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries. We enjoy this aspect of being a human being. It makes us happy. Most of us enjoy sharing and helping close family. I’m totally surprised that so many people are not with the OP and seeing this.

Exactly.

She says she works- but we dont know if she is planning to work until she dies to fund her DC or is it just the husband with his easy little job who is expected to.

You probably didn't get an answer because it's literally in the first post. She does work and earns similar to her husband.

Interesting we never got an answer to this! The only answer given about anything was,his job is easy etc. I think the op didn’t get the answer she wanted on here.

But it’s not a ‘little sacrifice’ to continue working if you don’t want to! Again you are making assumptions on the basis of your life. Ie your dh enjoys his job, your employer paid for your education, final salary pension. Not everyone is in the same position and is should be choice not expectation! Of course people give dc money, I’ve done the same for my dc BUT my dc would definitely not have wanted me to work for longer to do it!

My DM has just died. I’m nearly 70. Waiting for parental inheritance was a long wait in my case. Plus it’s a small sum - went on care home fees. Give it while you can!

It’s an illustration that people do give dc money! I don’t care what anyone thinks about me but DH is doing P/t work at 70. It’s relevant that he hasn’t retired - and absolutely could have done! We like to help and DH enjoys his work. So we don’t have a me,me,me viewpoint. We try and share and obviously reduce tax liability. I also recognise we be from easier to buy housing and DH had no uni loan. My education was paid for by my employer. I’m aware few dc have these advantages now. I even have a final salary pension! Helping is just a nice thing to do for little sacrifice.

Well that’s great for you and I’m not sure if this post was just an excuse to boast about how well off you are, but your privileged circumstances are not what the thread is about. This woman wants her husband to have to work longer to subsidise her dd, not just give her money from savings, trust fund etc! It strikes me that she loves dd a lot more than dh! She doesn’t seem to care if he drops dead from overwork as long as dd is sorted! I’m assuming they are planning on leaving dd their house etc in their wills, so she should wait rather than have her dad work longer to provide a house for her. You’re in a very different position and I’m sure that most people would do the same as you if they had the means, but it’s rude of you to cast aspersions on other people when you’re unaware of their financial position.

Theatre set design? That pays diddly squat! So how does that dc afford to save? Even in London that’s not a well paid job. Even if they get one. Good luck to that dc in the big wide world of affording a house.

I think many DC do understand parents have saved for their housing needs. If you can afford school fees you should be able to save for a house deposit too - or at least help out. It’s a generational thing. Many of us never needed it and no point discussing it as parents didn’t have anything. Our DC know we do, and it’s blatantly obvious! So we talk about money and how much we’ve invested for them. The latest decision has been to release funds from a trust to pay down some of DDs mortgage. Thats why we saved and didn’t blow all the money. Although plenty of our friends think we did when they look at DH and his cars! We wil
be giving more away to reduce IHT. I assume people who don’t fine won’t be paying IHT. If you had a huge bill, you might think differently.

Eh. What a weird thing to say. It wouldn't even occur to me for my parents to give me money for a deposit or anything else for that matter. And I would be genuinely appalled if I thought they were delaying retirement for that sole reason.

Absolutely crackers idea @CuttingMeOpenthenHealingMeFineI plan to retire at 55. DH and I will have put our DC X 3 through private school & university (one Psychologist, one Doctor to-be and one Theatre Set Designer to-be).

I have no desire to continue supporting my children after I retire and I intend to spend every cent of the money I made during my life, having worked extremely hard to make the aforementioned education available to my much loved children. Of course they will receive our assets when we shuffle off this mortal coil, but house buying is their baby.

Your DD needs autonomy and responsibility, Daddy won't always be there to fill in the blanks.

YADBU

'People saying older people had it easy are generalising.'
No one is saying that all older people had it easy because that would be nonsense; of course some struggle financially and are still renting. However, in a financial sense, overall, they have certainly had it easier than subsequent generations. This is a new phenomenon and one that needs to be addressed but is being entirely ignored by politicians.
Clearly, you would not have felt it necessary to pay for all your DC's uni fees and give them all large house deposits if things were the same as they were in the 1970s/80s.

What does the child and husband think of this. If it was a reverse and a husband was telling his wife to do this the thread would melt down.