To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

For those of a sandwich generation (finding themselves at some point supporting their and their children), perversely it seems natural to want to help out as much as you can.
The old saw that it's easier to share your last £5 than your last £500 seems to come into play with increasing regularity these days.

@Lesbeavinu If he has such a great pension and savings, why can't you give your child money anyway?

There are tax implications whichever way you do it, but you can give away as much as you want from income (and that includes a pension income).

From what you say, there's enough coming in with your salary, his pension and savings.

On the other hand, I think 59 is too young to retire as he could live for another 30 years- doing what to fill his time?

. He earns a decent £50k a year (same as me) and we have no mortgage.

@Rubbishconfession Read the first post?

Sorry but it's not up to parents to ensure their children get on the property ladder. It's all well and good if you have the means to help but shouldn't be an expectation. Your husband has worked hard and should be allowed to enjoy his retirement. How much have you put aside to give the children or are you just expecting your husband to make the sacrifice?

I’m 61 and work in the public sector. Many of my colleagues retire around 60ish. It always strikes me how comparatively ‘old’ some people are at 60. Over the years quite a few people have died within a couple of months of retirement. I think, especially if his parents died quite young he is entitled to take retirement when he wants. You will hardly be destitute.

My brother is the same age as your DH. Desperate to retire but can't quite afford it for another few years. If he had the money he'd go now, like your DH intends. You can always save up for your DD.

Our DS is living back at home to save a deposit for a house. We've funded a Help2Buy account up to £12K for the maximum bonus. The rest he needs to save himself. DH is retiring shortly - we're both a good few years off State Pension age - and we could afford to give DS more money now to buy a house, but he's an adult, and handing him everything on a plate will do him no favours. He needs to earn his own house!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Dear OP, you are obviously the daughter who wants your dad to use up a year of the precious time he has left on the earth so you can grab some more cash.

Nobody, nobody at all, is entitled to buy a property. My parents weren't able to do that until they were in their 50s, and they were only able to leave us 26 thousand pounds each from the sale of that when they died, as it was just a humble flat and there were three of us.

We were so incredibly grateful that they left us anything at all. I used to always say to my mum she could leave whatever she had to the cat and dog home if she chose, she owed us absolutely nothing, having already sacrificed so much - as all parents do when they raise their kids.

My mother owed me nothing financially at all - just like your parents owe you absolutely nothing. They've already raised you, looked after you and now it is their turn to enjoy the fruits of their long and arduous labour in any way they see fit.

Even if they were millionaires, they would still owe you sweet eff all.

So, be grateful for any help your parents choose to give you, as millions are in no position to help their kids financially at all.

Understand that buying a house, at any age, is a privilege not a right, work as hard as your parents have and save your own money. Meanwhile, you'll be fine renting, like the majority of people around the western world do.

If you're lucky, your hard working parents may choose to leave you some money when they die.

But there's always the cat and dog home.

It’s definitely unfair to label the younger generation as lazy and entitled, or work shy. That is not the case at all.

Don’t blame or be nasty about them, blame the government that has made it so difficult for people now.

This isn’t true. Home ownership across Europe is broadly similar to the UK, except for Germany which has a string rental sector as rents are low and controlled. In fact home ownership in places like Spain is higher than the UK.

This has beeb a generational change due to the benefits of homeownership and and the availability of credit.

If you can afford for him to retire then he should crack on. Enjoy life. Your child will figure out their own way in life.

Wellllll..it would be a nice gesture but I don’t think he’s obliged to do it. As pp have said it would be better if you were in a position to do it yourself (not sure why you can’t if you earn the same wage?)

...double posted shitty screen.

Totally agree. There is no comparison between the situation we faced 30 years ago in buying a house, and that of young people today. As we live in the SE, we will help our kids out with deposits, and everyone we know plans to do the same.

...

But it's a 'government' (civil service or local government) pension. You can take it at 55 but it is hugely actuarially reduced if taken before a set pension age – probably 60 here.

So if this isn't a wind up, I don't see why he's going at 59 not 60.

@Lesbeavinu better still, you can work longer and give your wages to your DC!!!!

From a daughter perspective. My parents weren't in a position to retire young, but I would have wanted them to do so if they had the chance rather than give me a deposit.

I'd much rather they be able to enjoy their retirement. They have never been able to help me financially but do it in other ways like with childcare and advice which I am very grateful for.

They earn 100k between them with no mortgage, she could easily have helped her dd out before now if she wanted to!

We’ve been through the stress of no fault evictions, seeing savings swallowed up by urgently needing rental deposits which we rarely got back.

We found it hard so our children should too isn’t the parent I want to be. It’s not the child’s fault the economy and home ownership is so difficult, it’s helping not spoiling them.

There is nothing wrong with helping your kids or being helped.

however you should never force a spouse into doing it. She can help the kids herself

I have decided to move out of my family home and leave it to my children, while I take a tiny flat somewhere with DH. I am quite serious. I would rather that than we both work longer. DH has a very stressful job and won't be able to do it in his 60s.

I rented for years, lived in flats and did not receive any money for a deposit from my parents, but apparently it would be cruel to expect my children to do the same. So they get the family home. It's only fair, seeing as it's so difficult. I wouldn't want them to come on MN and complain about their boomer parents! ( though we are not boomers).

"Dad, because it appears to be all your fault mum does not have to do anything, I know you want to retire but you can't until you give me money for a deposit" is not the answer

I agree that there is definitely a double standard on MN and I often call out ageism to young people on MN and the silence is apparent, but OP can’t dictate to her husband like this.

I doubt she would practice what she preaches.