To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

The simplest way to look at it is...what's it worth to each of them? I'd be inclined to think that 12-18 months out of the last quarter of someone's life is probably worth a hell of a lot more to them than a deposit is to somebody much younger.

Many are actually 55 now, although I am aware they're looking to increase that.

There is almost no way of getting on your feet with property ownership these days without parental help. Your dh is unreasonable IMO. And I speak as a Gen X who is trying to figure out how to get my almost grown up kids onto the property ladder in due course, not as a kid wanting money from parents!

Plenty of Gen Z are leaving university with 80k debt. It’s going to be a rough ride for them.

No I'm not @Rosscameasdoody
The people who can afford to retire at 59 are usually in local government and other public sector work where their contracts (from decades back) allow retirement at 60. (And used to be 50!!!)

Employees in private companies cant usually access a pension till 60 (and only then with permission) and it's reduced. It's not the full amount.

Without the figures, it's impossible to know what difference retiring early would make.

If they have savings and the OP is carrying on working, surely they can give their child some financial help anyway?

If he carries on for another year, what does that mean? That ALL his salary for that year would go to the DC?

Agree. There is obviously a clear divide between the ‘I’m all right brigade’ and those who appreciate that the economic reality has changed so that hard work is no longer enough to get a decent life if you live in the South East.

And this has all come about under a conservative government.

I am a grad and I have in fact worked my whole adult life (so far). I started working around school at 13 (had two paper rounds), started in shops at 15, worked 16 hours til I was in uni and then did 30 alongside my degree (in science, so 15 hours in lectures and 15 hours in labs). I never stopped.

I had a very strong work ethic instilled in me from my parents. My dad worked and saved hard and was able to retire even earlier than the DH in the OP (and no, not civil service/teacher/police etc, very manual job). My mum worked a bit longer to be able to facilitate this but is now part time in what OP would describe as a cushy low stress job.

They were still able to gift us small deposits towards our homes. But they did so on the premise that we saved our own contribution too (which I and my sibling did in different ways).

However, given how hard I've seen them both work to ensure that we were never without anything and to get themselves to this position, I would never have felt "entitled" to a deposit from them. They are my support in so many ways, but financially I am independent and will only take from them if they insist they want to give it.

That's how OP and her DH should be raising their DD. Not to expect handouts, but to appreciate the other support her parents have given her. If she does, she'll reciprocate in the two way street you've described. Family support does not equal financial.

YABU for saying he should keep working to give money to your kids but I think he is being unreasonable for retiring early if you don’t have a massive savings pot for emergencies when you are both older.
my dad retired at a similar age and it made my mum very paranoid about money and she ended up working till 68 to compensate ( AND she had a terminal Illness) and so yes I think it depends on how much saviNgs you have but it could be slightly short sighted/selfish on his part

Of course he should, (assuming you would have mentioned health issues) a work from home job 9-4pm and he’s only 59. Why wouldn’t he want to help his children when the housing market is so difficult, most parents would want to do that.

Let him retire now. My own DM retired in July 2021, on her 70th birthday. In September 2023 she was killed in a road accident. Just over two years of retirement.

I don't know what to think of this. I'm in my 40s and won't be retiring until 71 due to the changes in pension age, so working another year until 60 sounds like a dream! The earlier pension ages aren't sustainable, hence the changes for later generations, I hope everyone realises how lucky they are. I appreciate that everyone has hard times.

I'm planning to help my children as much as can, it's going to be very hard for them. The rise in house prices/rents means it's much tougher than even for late Gen X/early Millenials.

Could you not gift them the deposit from your wages?

I totally agree with @TizerorFizz . Young people today face structural challenges getting on the housing ladder which cannot just be overcome by 'hard work'. Furthermore, there is zero chance any of them will be lucky enough to even contemplate retiring at 59 - or even 65 in all probability. When they do, they will be lucky if the state pension even still exists. And if they don't even own a modest property of their own, they will in all likelihood be financially f*cked.
Of course the DH in the thread is entitled to do exactly as he pleases including retiring whenever he likes if he can afford it. But retiring at 59 is a massive luxury. Personally, given this choice, if there was only 18 months in it? No, there is no way I'd just kick back and watch my kids struggle. Most people I know would move heaven and earth to help their (hardworking) kids buy a house. Not because they are raising a generation of pampered snowflakes, but simply because they are in touch with economic reality and the extreme generational unfairness which exists in this country.

As others have said I suspect OP is the daughter and she seems immature and financially illiterate - “oh daddy earns 50k/yr - If he can afford to retire he can work just one more year and give me the 50k. Simples! “

Thanks for sharing!!

I gues for us - we had our kids close by a few mins walk one of them and last 8 years got grandkids

However, there was a man at my workplace - worried re just reitirng at the then 65 as he was alone - I get that - however, seeing him a few months later he said his fears were unjustified

we just left - I say to all, if you can afford it, go for as many pensions as you can - then if you want to leave early, at least you can

The only downside of leaving early or leaving, your bills and spending goes up - but its worth it and income goes down but still worth it

It really depends on the situation. He has no obligation to work longer and doesn't owe his child a deposit. If he's capable of providing one and enjoys his job so that he would be happy to keep working for that reason, that's fine, but clearly he feels it's time for him to retire and it's his right to make that choice. For all we know he's finding it hard for whatever reason.

She has!

Read the OP again. She states he earns 50k same as her. So why are so many questioning her work or income?

If you can help kids get on the ladder, great. If you can't, or don't want to do the work to be able to, also fine.

It's not selfish to have worked hard for 40+ years and want to stop, especially not if you can afford to.

It's interesting that OP didn't answer the many questions if she was working or not.
Makes me suspect she doesn't /wouldn't. I don't think many people would irl, but then this is MN where many posters want to be martyrs to the cause then come on here and complain.

Selfish? No.
Would it be nice? Sure.

Learn to read.

Pensions were never intended to be for that.

I’m assuming you’re talking about his occupational pension. State pension won’t be payable until 67 at least.

5 years ago I would have said no way, let him retire. Knowing what the world looks like for my kids now, and how much better off you are and probably always will be compared to them, I'd say give them as much as you can.

@BeaRF75 Clearly you are utterly out of touch with the cost of housing in the SE and how much a deposit is needed. and @GiveUsABreather

^^This

The 'other workers' who aren't in the public sector are propping up people( by working/paying tax )in local government roles who have the luxury of retiring before 60.

In the private sector, retirement at 60 with some pension is possible BUT on a greatly reduced pension which would be available at 65.

We gave our DCs the major part of an inheritance from one side of the family to help with house deposits. We could have kept it and maybe retired sooner but we both enjoy(ed) work.

We kept on working. I'm still working p/t (much older than the OP's DH) not because I need the money but for enjoyment and intellectual stimulation.

Yes, it's easy to enjoy retirement if you have money but for someone retiring at 59 if they went to uni, they've worked for 38 years max. They could easily spend another 30 years in retirement.

Pensions were never intended to be for that.