To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

Surely if DH continues to work he won't be claiming his pension so it is only whatever portion of his income is not needed for living costs that would be available as 'extra £ to fund a deposit for DD if he worked an extra 18 months'. If the pensions come with tax free lump sums, can't he retire and use some of the £ from the tax free lump sums to gift DD a deposit?

I agree with you OP. I think many on here (and in general) don't understand or care to understand how different things are for young people in their 20s, 30s, even 40s compared to those of approx 55/60 plus

Many of us are 55 plus ( me for one) and of course I know how things are different as I have two adult children in their 20s.

Ds 2 was horrified when i offered him help towards his house and he refused to accept anything. Ds1 did accept help and insisted on paying the 5 k back that dh lent him over two years.

I can't imagine having an adult depending or wanting their parents money to get on in life. I can understand short term loans as a lot of people go through bumpy phases financially from time to time.
However, I seen plenty of mn posts to realise I'm I the minority, I think.

I'm not criticising other people's choices, each to their own and spend your money how you want. I just think it's sad if someone wants to retire and pressure is put on them not to.

I retired at 60. I had intended to stay on to 65 but our department was merged/ taken over and the whole ethos and environment changed. I really don’t think I could have stood it there for another 5 years to give DD a deposit.

^This

Posts on mumsnet always seem to assume that it will be utterly impossible for anyone under about 40 to buy their own place without handouts.

DD is single and late 20s, earning OK but not tremendously high salary, yet she managed to buy a flat about a year ago. Saved her own deposit

Three nephews and nieces of a similar age. Two have their own place already and the third one and his partner currently looking. Pretty sure my sister doesn't have the money to have helped out much.

Of DDs friends from school several others have their own already. Her best friend is currently buying locally too.

@5foot5

Do you know what??? My Dads cannot live with us and do their jobs. Both need to be based in London. Not every dc has the luxury of being with mum and dad and saving up. Some lucky dc do, so good for you. The rest must move for work, especially rural dc. My DD1 travels quite a lot for work. That’s impossible from where we live as she needs a whole variety of main line stations. She does drive but that’s hugely problematic too with so many different locations.

We saved up years ago for DC. I don’t really care that they didn’t have enough for deposits. DD1, like most in her career, didn’t start earning until 25 due to academic study and training. I think staying at home is a massive bonus and I bet no one pays parents the going rate on rents. Plus no issue finding a place to rent either. Your dc was in a hugely fortunate position but you don’t realise it. I suspect housing was cheap too! For many in the SE it’s not and most people recognise this and help, if they can. Parents in this case can as they clearly don’t need 50.% of dad’s earnings.

I've rented all my life, I probably wont inherit my parents house or savings as it will probably go on care fees just like their parents houses did and dh parents house.
Owning your own house is unlikely to secure any kind of financial benefit to your children now.
The government wants everyone working until they die and then dying with nothing so the next generation do the same.

I think it's almost funny that someone who is being silent on whether they work or not is suggesting their DH should work longer.... And the hours a person works don't really reflect stress.

I would be gutted if I found out my parents had worked for longer than they planned to, just to support me as an adult. I want my parents to enjoy their hard-earned retirement.

Any adult child who feels differently is uncaring and entitled, and doesn't deserve the money!

My lovely dad retired at 60. I found out later he’d been in pain from an untreated health condition, and was on a very long waiting list at the nhs. I’d have been horrified at the thought he’d worked longer than necessary to fund me in my lifestyle when I was a fully fledged, independent adult.

Other parts of the country are also available for living in.

I wish I could retire at 59!

Really surprised at the responses here. Yes, he should work longer and save for a HD for his child. There are massive issues of intergenerational unfairness in the UK today and his generation has benefited from the rise in house prices, which has screwed younger people over.

I don’t get “He could keel over tomorrow, he should go and enjoy life!!” It sounds like he has a pleasant job with work-life balance - he can continue doing it for a few more years and enjoy holidays and weekends like most other people do.

@Lesbeavinu I completely agree with you and what a lovely thing to do for your kids.. I think you should convince your hubby to do this. All the ppl here flapping about it's up to him blah blah blah are just projecting their own poor ablity to help their adult kids on to you. Don't listen . Voice your points to your hubby. Ppl here acting like these aren't your flesh and blood and you wanting to help them is the most stupid thing in the world. Better you're trying to help them then pushing them to be a burden on the state. Do it. Help the kids , wishing them all the best in getting on the housing ladder.

If the situation is exactly as described, then yes I would do this. Although you don't mention his health - but because you didn't I'd assume it's fairly good.
I dream of being able to buy my children houses when they are young adults, or at least be able to give them significant deposits towards houses.

Its not just public sector workers. There are plenty of people coming up to retirement who started work the in the 80s and 90s for large private corporations who offered final salary schemes, most of which have 60 as retirement age, with the ability to take a reduced pension at any age between 55 and 60. I’m one of them and I naturally know plenty of others in the same boat.

yes my dh died of cancer two years after he retired and it wasn't a fast or an easy process.

The lack of reading comprehension on this thread is really something to behold.

Not to mention the assumptions and projection. Maybe the OP is also planning to work an extra year?

We've been fortunate ourselves and have certainly planned things to give our kids deposits because we understand it's a whole different world out there now. Young people can be incredibly hard workers and still not be able to afford a home.

Everyone is entitled to have different priorities, but if I knew I was going to die in the next two years, I'd much rather go knowing I had helped provide the means for my children to be securely housed than having sat on a beach or visited more art galleries.

DH and I retired at the same time when he was 63 and I was 59. No mortgage and decent pension provision.

Our adult DD was still living at home because her job, since graduation, was local and she was saving for a deposit. She did still insist on paying us rent. Obviously it was less than if she had been renting somewhere else but we are her parents not her landlords, we didn't want to make money out of her.

We offered her money towards the deposit but, do you know what, she turned us down. She said she wanted the satisfaction of knowing she had saved for and bought her own place. She has too. About a year ago.

Would I have worked longer if she had needed the money and there was no other way of giving it to her? I am honestly not sure. I was finding my job quite stressful towards the end and was ready to retire.

My own Dad worked until he was 65, and still did a bit part time until he was 66 to help out his ex-business partner. He died at 67.

She already said that she does. In the first post.

I agree with you OP. I think many on here (and in general) don't understand or care to understand how different things are for young people in their 20s, 30s, even 40s compared to those of approx 55/60 plus. Retiring at 59 is a luxury that few will be able to afford in younger generations. The job in question sounds jolly relaxed compared to many (sociable hours, desk job, WFH). I would certainly work longer and prioritise helping my DC if I possibly could. I honestly don't understand the selfish mindset that seems to prevail nowadays.

My parents retired early and honestly this never crossed my mind.

It’s a lovely thing for parents to be able to help out their children. My parents helped me to get the deposit for my first home because my financial security is what brought them joy. My DH’s parents retired early and got a house extension, bought nice cars and went on lots of holidays. That’s what brought them joy and we didn’t resent them for it. I will definitely be helping my DD out if I’m able to but that would be MY choice. I’d be really annoyed if someone told me when I should retire and what I should be spending my money on!

Please tell me the OP doesn’t work 😂

So I am a little bit puzzled by the maths here. If DH retires now I assume that he would receive at the very least 50% of his current salary as pension? This leaves a net combined income of £75k with no mortgage to pay. Saving for a deposit even in the South East means (using one of a couple of government schemes) putting away 3-400 a month over four years with the DD also contributing over this period. On a joint income of £75k with no mortgage this is very doable. Assuming there is only one DC?

Why don't you get a part time job on top of yours and save up the money yourself? Alternatively you can work a few years longer to fund it. You are being massively unreasonable.