To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

I wouldn't do it if you asked me to.

It's also a pretty safe bet that a daughter who's willing to steal a year or more of her father's life to make hers easier will not be doing any caregiving later in life.

But @greedisunappealing nowhere is it suggested that the OP’s DC is asking her DF to do that - it’s the OP’s suggestion alone! Who has a better grip on economic realities and a very normal wish to improve her offspring’s security and social standing.

How is that ageist ffs. People working until they’re 70 will mean less jobs for younger people (I say that as someone likely to need to work into my 70s). I’m not suggesting 59yos shouldn’t work, I’m showing the other side of the argument. Even if someone older took this specific job, someone younger is likely to get moved up the ladder as a ripple affect. The op wants him to keep working to benefit a younger person… I was just suggesting his leaving could do the same, just a different younger person.

some people are quick to read the worst of every post. In no way was I suggesting he wasn’t able to do his job due to his age ffs.

Maybe he could retire and you could use your wages to help with your child’s deposit especially as it’s your idea 😊

My dad took (very) early retirement. He lived in a quiet village with nothing going on and no stimulation. My mum continued working and resented him doing nothing. He lost contact with loads of his old colleagues. He didn't have the confidence to do anything else. He was bored out of his brain and lonely and tried to pretend he wasn't, and he developed dementia by 68 and was dead by 74. I know it wasn't the only reason, but I am convinced it contributed massively.

I don't know what your DH is like as a person, but unless he has active structured retirement plans, I would advise against it.

(I appreciate I have said nothing about the daughter/flat thing so sorry about that!)

Our job as parents is to raise independent kids. If you put money away I’d get it but to extend work for an able bodied adult is mad. If we floated this idea with ours they would be appalled.

Similar here - two of my DH’s best friends died a few years ago at 53yo , one from an incurable brain tumour and the other by a hit n run driver high on drugs and alcohol. At the time my DH had cancerous polyps removed and was diagnosed with a blood disorder that required weekly visits to hospital for 18m, and will continue 1-3monthly for the rest of his life. Much as we love our kids, who are not yet independent, we are now prioritising DH (and me, a bit) in future planning. And trying to spend a little more on ourselves with mini breaks now!

If a (single?) 20-25yo DD is had her education (possibly gone to uni) and is now working, the parents in this case have done enough - more than enough - to set her up. She needs to step up and take responsibility for her own financial planning if she wants to get on the property ladder.

I would definitely do this for my children especially as it so difficult to get on the ladder but I wouldn't expect from anyone else.

My grandfather died at 60 of a myocardial infarction (heart attack) and my mother in law (70 in August) has been given 6-12 months (cancer). Nobody knows how long they will have and if they want to retire and can afford to then that is their choice. I’m a millennial and my boomer parents owe me nothing. They raised me to be a responsible hard working adult who can stand on my own two feet when they are no longer there. That was where their responsibility ended.

Yes I agree with this, a relative has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer, they had plans to retire next year but won’t live to see the end of this summer.

It has hit both DH and I hard and we now aim to put things in place to allow us to retire as early as possible. Our DC will have savings that we currently have in place for them but tbh they have to make their own way. DH and I bought a flat while both students with no help from parents, obviously it will be harder for the DC by the time they are old enough (I would assume anyway) but they will find a way. I won’t make my plans based on providing them financial assistance.

Think you might be getting your generations muddled up, it’s quite clearly a millennial the OP is talking about funding.

If you each have 50K a year and no mortgage, why don't you give her the money this year?

Why does he need to keep this years salary, but not next year's?

I know more than one person in good health who died less than a year into retirement so I would enjoy as much time as possible. Its nice to help out but as a young adult it's up to your children to make their own way. I had £20 parent contribution to uni and 0 to my home purchase instead I worked 2 (sometimes 3) jobs to set myself up in life

If this is indeed a reverse, then OP needs to get over herself and find a property on a shared purchase scheme, rather than expect dad to fund her. I know two recently divorced women in their forties with kids and exH’s who’ve lost all their money do this. Start from scratch with nothing now part-owning new homes. The entitlement and privilege of expecting a 59yr old man to work for a few more years is sickening.

My 55yo husband is fucking knackered (has a desk job too, but with travel between offices/countries), long hours, responsibility, never able to switch off and when he spends a weekend like the last one doing essential DIY and gardening he is ready for bed by 9pm, only to be up again at 545am to start the working week all over again. He’d love to retire in the next few years, but we have ASD kids who should both get to uni next year and the year after, so we will do as much as possible to help - our health and our own relationship permitting. There is no lifelong obligation to support your kids. Once they are 18 they are adults. It’s entirely up to the parents if/how much more they feel they can do.

I would do what you suggest but he will do what he wants. I'm 65 and still working full time because of the way Covid messed up my DS's life. It wasn't the plan but it's what it is. Also I was single when I had him and the increased responsibility of single parenthood has never loosened its grip on me. But if your DH doesn't want to, you can't make him and it's unclear what's best for your DD long term.

When you have worked for 40 years OP, and inhabit an ageing body, and are looking at a limited number of years of healthy life expectancy, you can have an opinion as to whether or not this is unreasonable.

Sounds like he’d still have decent income coming in from the pension. Is there a reason you’ve not saved money before this? How long until he’s 59? what’s his health like? Is he already helping DD out? What kind of career path is DD on?
Too many questions to just judge him!

YABU.

He’d be young enough to go back to work full time.
DH went gone back to work at 60, demanding managerial position. Loving it still at 62, but then again he was going stir crazy in retirement and wanted the challenge.
Your DH can do as he pleases OP. Life is short.
I’m sure your fully grown DD will be just fine.

I voted YANBU because it's an admirable thing for parents to help out with their children's financial goals, especially as it's much harder to get on the property ladder nowadays. Also, one year is not that long, expecially if he is healthy and his job is low-stress.

However, I can see why he might not want to do this. Men on average live shorter lives than women, so he might not have as long as you think. I know two men who died in their early 70s. Women, on the other hand, live well into their 80s and sometimes 90s.

Many men go into some sort of decline after retirement, my own father did, continuing to work might be good for him as well as your daughter, 18 months is not that long in the great scheme of things.

If he can retired I wouldn't oppose to it.
I would love not have to work. I like my work, but I would love to use that time doing other stuff as well. At the end of the day working life is long in years, days and hours.
In the other hand your kids are fully grown, I wouldn't feel bad not giving them a deposit if I have to postpone my retirement. I don't think modern times/cost of living should trump my desire of free time.
If I could I would think my time serving is over and enjoy a bit of myself time for the years to come.
Nothing wrong to help your adults kids with money or other stuff if that doesn't requires a big effort.
I think, although it may not be seem as a big effort because is just 12-18 months what you got in mind, for me is a lot tbh.
With all of the above I have voted YABU.

It's not impossible but to keep alleging this again and again without anything to back it up is pretty unpleasant.
I agree that it is entitled to assume that your parents should work longer to help you (if this is the DD).
On the other hand, as a parent, 59 is no age, the job sounds relaxed and I can't imagine not working a bit longer to help my DC, particularly as younger generations have a much, much harder time financially than those aged approx 60. Retiring in your 50s is v much a luxury.

Yup. Totally agree this is a reverse and the OP is actually the selfish and grasping daughter!

😂😂