Most people don’t take being a god parent seriously

Unfortunately the mother of one of my godchildren became an alcoholic and cut me off when I tried to convince her to get help. I still regularly see my other godchild. I did take it seriously.

Dare I say it because people who choose to have their children christened over 30+ years ago didn't really take it seriously the same way as they took their marriage vows .
Never seen in the same church as marriage or christenings

I would not know my godmother if I saw her in the street.She was my mother's best friend at the time of my birth but she moved out of the area and she and my mother lost touch.I had a godfather who I remember sending me birthday cards but that is all.They will be long dead now, as I am now a great grandmother.
My own children's god parents have long since lost touch with us.Only two of my five grandchildren have been baptised, and I know of one godparent who still keeps in touch with them.

I was actually brought up by two of my Godparents after I lost my Mum. I'd say they took being a a Godparent very seriously.

That being said I only know one other person who has a close relationship to their Godparent. Luckily he never needed to step in to bring my friend up but he has given him guidance, a shoulder to cry on, somewhere to stay for the night etc. I've honestly never heard anyone else mention their Godparents.

Were you a Christian when you agreed to be their godparent?

I am godparent to a friends children. She became a narc so the friendship ended. Would have been there for the kids but she treated me like a cash point to buy stuff for them

I’m a god parent to two teens. I don’t ever see them as don’t speak to their mother and haven’t for many years. I didn’t want to be a godparent but felt I couldn’t say no. I don’t feel guilty, they’re not religious and it was all a bit of a sham.

This thread has just prompted me to message my god daughter who's now living abroad. We always see each other when she's back in the country and I really love her. I know she loves me too. She even flew half way around the world to support me and be at my husband's funeral.

I'm not christened so I have no grandparents my sister is and don't recall feeling like I missed out.

I don't get why non religious people get their kids christened, most of time it's for a party if they really admit it.

@Rubbishconfession Yes she does.

Aw no, I’m sure that’s not the case! People just get busy, live far apart etc. Plus you don’t have to be Christian to be able to discuss ethics, morality etc!

I am God parent to 2 children (1 is now an adult). What should I be doing?? I send birthday and Xmas gifts and I'm interested in their lives - should I be doing more?? 😉 I am not remotely religious, maybe that makes a difference

DH and I have a godson that we haven't seen since he was about 1 year old. TBH I don't know why his Mum asked us to do it, we weren't living even remotely close by, and we'd only recently got back in touch after a period of being out of contact - this was before SM really was at use.

My dd had a wonderful godmother who was very involved and sadly died. None of the others kept in touch once me and kids dad split. I'm Christian and would take the role of godmother very seriously if I was ever asked but I don't see how you can take it seriously if you don't have a faith you make vows to support and encourage the child in faith 🤷‍♀️

What do think godparents should be doing?

I'm a godmother to 3 young adults/ dc. One of them their parents moved abroad and I haven't seen my GC in several years. They don't keep in contact.

My other two GC I see regularly. But even if they weren't my GC I'd still see them as one is a nephew and other the dc of my best friend.

If you're not religious, it means nothing. As far as I know, when I was christened in the Church of Scotland my parents chose "supporters" not god parents. I have no idea who they even are, it certainly wasn't a thing that I referred to anyone as my "godmother" or "godfather". Growing up, the only reference I ever heard to godmothers was in Cinderella, it wasn't something my friends or peers talked about either.

I am godparent to one of my nieces (can't remember which as they were both baptised on the same day) and a nephew. We don't go to church, I was purely picked as they needed someone reliable who could hold the baby and stand for a photo.

My own kids are not baptised and therefore do not have any godparents.

@ArseholeCatIsABlackAndWhiteCat this is a good point. I am a god parent, but the child's parents didn't include me in the child's life, so the relationship never developed. I feel a bit sad about that, but you're correct to point out that it needs to be a two way street

It can be hard to godparent. I wasn't told when my god daughter was making her first holy communism or her confirmation.

Honestly, I haven’t seen my godson for a couple of years. I don’t think it means that much really, does it?
I do keep in touch with his mum and see photos and updates of him.

Does she send you presents / cards?

I take my god parent role very seriously, despite now being divorced and no longer part of the family. My Goddaughter is an adult now so we have our own relationship but she's important to me and I love her. We don't see a lot of eachother due to distance but we are regularly in touch and I send gifts for birthday and Christmas. She knows I've got her back if she needs.

I think it’s more on your parents for the choices they made. Did they make an effort to include god parents in your family life? Were they invited round?

I’m sorry for your loss of a parent as a child.
On the whole, I don’t think people should take it very seriously. Reports that Charles gave his godson a bollocking made me cringe.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/345129.stm

As a godparent to two (now adults) I have a different relationship with each of them. One I have only seen once since a baby - sent birthday cards etcfor a while until they moved. The other I have a very good relationship with - they will tell/ask me things sometimes before their parents as their mum can get angry/upset/sulky and I am non judgemental about what they do but will be able to help with the fine details.
My own children's godparents are variable - some never make contact (with them or with us).

I don't see the point of it personally - always feels as if it's more for show than anything (not that I am one, or have any!) I'll either support my friends' kids or not as the years go by - don't need a title.