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Original poster

Adult children contributing to costs

214 replies

JackyPaper · 02/06/2024 17:03

I know I’m not being unreasonable to ask for a contribution to household costs from my adult child.
I’m a single parent with a good job but all my income is accounted for so no surplus. I still have under 16s at home. I’ve calculated how much it costs to have them living here (increased council tax, energy etc).
They have gently raised with me that they think it is too much compared to what their friends pay. I said friends parents are clearly subsidising which I’m not prepared to do, even if I could. Adult child works full time.

If you have working adult children living at home, how much rent do they pay you?

OP posts:
WhereIsMyLight · 02/06/2024 17:18

I don’t think it matters what other people are paying, it matters what your finances are and how long you are prepared for them to stay at home. I think if it’s NMW job and you’re charging 80% of their take home pay, they’re really going to struggle to save for a deposit for a rental and they’ll be living with you for a lot longer. Whereas if you’re charging 25% of their take home and that means partly subsidising, I think that’s fair as they still have 75% of their income available to them and they can save and move out sooner. I think it’s a balance between not subsidising them but also enough of their take home left to save and get their own place (rent or buy). If you feel they’ve been living with you for longer than you wanted, you can gradually raise the rent until it’s not worth them staying home or you agree with them you’ll subsidise for x length of time only.

TheSmallAssassin · 02/06/2024 17:18

ssd · 02/06/2024 17:06

I take it you will charge them as adults but not listen to them as adults.

Poor kids.

"But my friends' parents let them do x, y, z" is hardly the reasoning of an adult.

AliceInWonderlost · 02/06/2024 17:17

Depends on a few factors

I would ask for £200 as a contribution. We don't need the money so it would be because it's the right thing to do

If I needed the money then I'd switch my child and come to an agreement

OhmygodDont · 02/06/2024 17:16

I think proving they have their own personal bedroom and basically the rules are as such if it was a house share fine.

If you expect to put in say 9pm curfew must babysit siblings yada yada no.

LemonBitter · 02/06/2024 17:14

I think food / bills are fair enough but I don't think it's fair to ask for them to rent their room unless you would rent it to someone else if they moved out.

Georgieporgie29 · 02/06/2024 17:14

£200 a month but currently in first year of apprenticeship so they’re not on a high wage

BellaVita · 02/06/2024 17:13

£250 per month

MumChp · 02/06/2024 17:13

Yes, of course a grown up child living at home pays rent and expenses.
'Child working full time? Don't argue about the £.
Child can move on if she/he is unhappy.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 02/06/2024 17:13

20% of take home pay

Precipice · 02/06/2024 17:12

Contribution to household costs are not the same as rent. A contribution to increased bills is completely different to 'pay for occupying a room in this house'. But you use both concepts in your post.

I'm not sure how helpful MN can be for you, if you don't provide any indicative costs. The costs are very different across various households and across the country. That's immediately obvious from any of those 'what do you spend on groceries/bills/whatever' threads. Even if you get a bunch of people with the same approach to the contributions of young working adult children, their costs are likely to be so different as to make comparisons between the actual sums very different, even before we get into differences in what either the parents or the offspring earn.

UnNiddeRides · 02/06/2024 17:12

£250 pm

kiwiane · 02/06/2024 17:11

£500 per month inc some toiletries from the supermarket.

VestPantsandSocks · 02/06/2024 17:08

This reply has been deleted

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ssd · 02/06/2024 17:06

I take it you will charge them as adults but not listen to them as adults.

Poor kids.