Adult children contributing to costs

Are they in debt and struggling? Is that why they’re moving back in, and arguing about minimal costs to live? If they’ve lived away previously then they know fine well living isn’t free, so there must be more to it if they’re giving out about contributing what sounds like a small amount. I’d do some gentle digging into their finances, I suppose.

Wait let me get this straight .... your adult child has gently sat you down to tell you a whopping 10% of their salary is too much for you to be charging for expenses?!! They are having a laugh, if as you state you are in a position where all your disposable income is accounted for?

I would say the additional 25% council tax charge as you can't get single person discount then about £50 a week for food and bills.
Basically I'd do it at cost.

@JackyPaper I think it's an eye opener for them to look at the cost of living elsewhere , doing research to how much it would cost icluding the cost of rent, council tax, utilities, phone bill, car if they have one and associated bills, food, toiletries, clothing ect

inwtead of seeing it as you taking money off them they could view it as the huge savings they will be making by being at home.

Whatever you agree on I'd also add an extra £50 a month and put it in premium bonds or a savings account for when they decide to move out.

I don't charge mine anything as we are mortgage free and he buys a lot of his own food so doesn't really cost us much and I know he is savings hard for his own place. he also is the only one of my four who has not gone to Uni and so we haven't had to support him for extra years like we have the others. I used to charge my other son ( who has now moved out) a bit as he was irresponsible with money and as his gf also used to live with us I charged her a little.
I agree with others though, it doesn't matter what other people do or why, if you feel your child is costing you a certain amount to live there then it's fine to charge them that. Everyone's situation is different.

Why are you taking it then , just get them to save it as that way they are actually learning something - you save = you can have / buy . Taking it and saving for them is infantilising.

So what have you calculated in increased costs? What is that as a proportion of their income? And how old is the adult DC?

I’d expect a far bigger contribution from a 23 year old than an 18 year old, for instance. In terms of actual increased costs, it’s surely fairly low (25% council tax, plus gas & electric) if food is excluded.

I charge DD the extra I spend on her being here. No extra on mortgage, broadband or council tax as we'd pay them anyway, but energy and water is a bit more, and food definitely more. I think £200 is fair, to include free access to food, drink and communal toiletries.

My DD has more savings than me, she pays money towards household bills. So if that makes me mean, she is the one who said she would pay towards things.

Mine pays £40 a week. I feel guilty about it being that much but with food and utility increases I really do need it!

I do wonder how much more they can really cost.

apart from losing the 25% discount with only works if your a single parent.

The only extra costs of them being an adult is what, loss of their child benefit at what £25? A week, and any other deduction of benefits.

Now I’m all for helping teach budgeting but it sounds like a lot of parents could do with that lesson if they genuinely NEED their children to pay £300/£400/£500 a month not saving any of it for them.

Clearly, some people just view children as a money making racket. Probably can’t wait for them to start work so they can exploit them for their own financial gain. Disgraceful.

DD pays us £200pm. Either they pay so much a month or suggest their equal share of council tax, utilties and food.

It's not about how much it is costing the parent - it is about how much it would otherwise cost the adult child to make alternative arrangements.

And i did caveat it with putting the difference in a savings account - a LISA if you wish. I am not suggesting that parents profiteer from their children, but rather they put their children in a realistic expenditure position.

There is a set government table on how much rent for a bedroom

She's talking about the eldest only, not the under 16s. That is why gender neutral 'them' can be confusing.

I think charging them for bills and associated costs is fine. Not rent unless you would otherwise rent the room out in their absence.

It's hard as you want the kids to be treated equally but if one goes to uni and one gets a job, I don't feel right charging rent to one and then paying the others fees

If 12-1&k would be half their income then they would be on better wages than me lol

My son intends to move abroad asap after uni but if he's here he will need to pay the 25% extra in council tax, a contribution towards utilities and internet and but his own food. Nothing for rent of room as that doesn't cost me extra

There are 2 different amounts to consider: 1) What it costs - ie a 1/3 of all bills but also what you'll pay if they move out - them leaving will not reduce the mortgage etc.

I took "them" to be none gender specific adult child rather than all of the kids.
Given that this mum has no spare cash and adult child is working FT then it's only right that adult child should contribute.
I read it that she doesn't want to make a profit she just can't subsidise the child.
OP i would suggest that adult child makes up the shortfall in the extra council tax that you'll now be paying and any benefit you may have lost if they'd previously been in FT education and a little more to help with the bills.
They need to learn some financial responsibility

The clue is in the @LazyBumMum handle I think.

@LazyBumMum Let's try to remember that all children are a blessing even if that dont always arrive at the mosy comvenient of times and sometime we have to say that through gritted teeth