Adult children contributing to costs

My parents always said that if we weren’t in education and living at home then they expected 25% of our take home pay as board. This always seemed fair to me as not having any other expenses and 75% of your income to live off is amazing compared to renting. If you genuinely didn’t need this much you could ask for less (or save the difference for them), but if you need more because that is what it costs then they ought to pay more. It’s not fair for your younger children to suffer so that the older child can spend all their income on frivolities.

I think it's good to charge a market rate, they can take it or leave it. Being able to pay your way is a hugely important skill in adulthood so sounds like you're doing a great job. Some parents never teach or encourage it, my brother is 40 and it's still costing my mum more than he gives her and no he's not saving up! You could save some of the money and give it back to them one day, if you really felt you'd overcharged

You’d potentially lose housing benefit, your council tax reduction, child maintenance and the child element of UC (which is over £300 pcm). All that is likely to amount to well over £500+ per month. It’s not beyond the realms that this would be the difference between swimming and sinking for a single parent on a low income.

Edited to add: I forgot about child benefit. Another £100 per month.

We don't charge them anything except youngest for her phone contract which is not in her name yet. We both work and don't need the money, plus although both children technically have 'full time' jobs, neither gets full time hours (shift work). We have already benefitted from not needing to pay for their clothes, phones, entertainment and travel etc. When and if their working hours increase / become more secure, we may ask for a share of the bills and food costs.

What the hell are you on about? So he buys his own food and that will make him leave the country. And having spent last two year in a flat share with another to go I think he's well used to sticking to his own food . But no I wouldn't charge him just get him to replace it

I have boomeranged from my parents to my own place and back again quite a few times in adulthood and my parents always tell me their bills didn’t really change when I wasn’t there.

So I don’t think there’s a huge difference to having an extra person in the house if two are already living there.

ours did not but they offered - we could afford it and if they had not offered, then we would have asked. We would have asked for money if we felt they were not really trying hard enough to save for a property

I guess its good practice to charge kids as it helps you and them by teaching them how to look after money unless you were in our position. If i/we felt kids were taking the p, then e would have charged them

so getting kids to pay rent those that work is good. those that may refuse to work or only work pT because of the so-called "work life blance' 😂 at 18/22, charge them proper rent so you can enjoy the "work, life balance."

To each their own but half your child’s take home pay is extortionate and the sort of thing that ruins relationships.

Why have so many children when you clearly can’t afford them? The mind boggles

They aren’t children.

DS pay £200 a month - because that’s what adults do and it’s a start to being responsible. He earns the same as I do, so he’s not short of money.

It covers food, washing, electricity, toiletries etc, so it’s not a bad deal at all.

I’ve paid his car insurance the last year, a fine he got by accident and everything else in between.

I am saving this money for him later.

They maxed out LISA of £4k but did save £10k in a year. Still not trusting DC to be an adult and save themselves. Taking away half their salary would mean they didn't have much ability to save.

Single mum here all my kids lifes.
£0 nothing i never charged them to be born i wont do it now this is their home were they grow up felt safe they can count on having a roof over their heads no matter what.
They both chip in both pay for things if i need it they both offer to towards bills etc but i never ask them to do it they choose to.
Its never hundreds of ££s just what they can afford.
Things are tight for everyone i dont want to make it harder for them.
We are not rich at all but they are saving to move out.
As i said if i need something they chip in our home is filled with love not pay cheque.
All food in my home is for everyone loo paper bath shower stuff etc nothing is off limits just because they work.
Although they do get their own shower stuff and other things.
I dont want my children to feel like i did if i didnt pay i didnt eat and i couldent use anything because i didnt pay for it it didnt feel like home anymore.
So i didnt want my children to feel like that.

I dont get some people that as soon as their child starts work they want money and its a lot sometimes.
Between both of mine they chipped in £120 last month the end of this month things are not to bad so they said a hundred from each of them but i always say dont worry about it this is home your home.
But i know they will pay something most likely with be a household bill.

DS pays £350 a month - he earns £34k but is saving for house deposit
Managed to save 30k so far

They didn't save £10k a year in a LISA as the maximum is £4k plus the bonus.

Most parents who take keep and save it do so but don't tell their children they will be giving it back later and that way the child still has to save themselves.

The parent's circumstances make all the difference. If you are a low income family you usually lose some benefits when child becomes an adult. If single, you might lose child maintenance from NRP. Households which already have 2 or more adults won't have a change in council tax so likely won't bother including council tax in their calculations of how expensive the adult child is to house.
So not all our offspring are getting the same start when they enter adulthood, inequality is rife.

I charge dd £1000/ month
Thats much cheaper than rent food and bills. She knows I’m putting it to one side for her for a deposit and is extremely happy; she’s still got more money than she’ll ever had once she’s paying bills. It does kids no good to have massive disposable incomes when they’re not paying bills.
And of course she could save it himself but it’d be hard to- adhd- and hard job so it would be easy to justify treating herself.

Nothing.
Eldest DS is saving to buy a house with his partner.
Youngest DS is at uni.
They both pay for their own car insurance, fuel, etc, gym membership and any takeaways.
Happy to be able to do this for them both.

What ?

Ten percent of their take home wage

£0. Adult dc is actually saving us money by doing an apprenticeship rather than going to university. It’s cheaper having him at home 🤣.

Personally, I think there are no hard and fast rules of parenting any more in 2024. We have had a pandemic, two wars, a CoL crisis, a recession...
I think each person needs to do what suits them best.

I say now that I won't charge my DC rent or board, but who knows what may happen in the future? We might lose our jobs to AI!

@LazyBumMum would find that ok for herself I think!

Well, you say 'the first few years ' past 18... What's the cut off? 21? 24?

What happens the day they turn 25? And are still living at home?

You mention 30 as age... What would magically change between 29 and 30? If they've got the same job etc.

It's seems easier to say "whilst in full time education" it's free, and post 18/uni, it's the a % of income. Like ... 20% or something.

If you are providing food, bills and a room then I would imagine £50-£100 a week would cover the actual cost. If they are contributing less than that then you are subsidising them.

My DC are young, but my DH and I discussed this a while back and agreed we would never charge our DC to live at home in the first few years post 18. Those saying they are grown adults etc, yes they may be, but they will always be my children too. I think there is a difference between moving back home after uni and starting out in life (in which case I'd want them to save all their money) and living at home at maybe age 30. In that case, it seems more appropriate to charge a fair monthly amount. Aged 18 and facing a difficult jobs market and a harsh housing market etc, no, I wouldn't charge anything.