Adult children contributing to costs

Your lucky to not have experience of needing to watch every penny....with professionals like teachers and nurses using food banks I'd imagine many have to account for it all down to not using rooms to save electricity. Why should an adult not be asked to contribute? How's that encouraging responsibility and community over selfish arsedness!

But an adult child living at home with parents is relying on parents to pay their bills food costs, electricity costs etc.

Do you really think it’s some weird thing to notice that a takeaway bill is cheaper when feeding less people?

I’m all for budgeting and being economical; however, some of these posts are really something else. Calculating electricity used, toiletries used, food eaten, right down to the dime. There was even one poster who calculated that her takeaway bill was £10-15 cheaper now that her DS had left home. I mean that’s taking budgeting down to a fine art. That kind of budgeting is alien to me; it seems even grasping and miserly. But then I’ve not been raised in extreme poverty. I can see for some families how it might need to be done.

I wasn't talking about people relying on their parents to pay their bills or unable to make their own decisions. Just about many cultures where money doesn't change hands between family members.
I have the worst bits of being Asian I think.. I am too Asian to accept money from my DC but not Asian enough to control their decisions😂

What my daughter and I do, are mine and her business no one else's.

She's not living rent free, always paid her way. She has a grand left to save and has more than 11 grand in savings.

You're rather assuming a greed.

No parents on here are charging rent because of GREED. They're charging to cover bills, lost income or to teach their children financial responsibility.

Calling other mothers greedy for daring to try and instill values or not going hungry is absolutely disgusting from another parent. Pulling others down is not an admirable quality.

Stop calling them names and try and understand their perspective. You're absolutely and 109% wrong to shame parents and insult them over asking their adult children to help contribute to the house hold. They are still good parents, and I can absolutely guarantee they love their children just as much as you love yours.

My 2 boys used to pay £50 each a week. They upped it themselves to £80. One of my sons works with me and as soon as our washing machine broke last week, he sent extra money for a new machine. I feel well blessed that I don't need to ask for help. They know they are better off at home, that's their words!!

You have absolutely no idea of any posters past on here so please don’t generalise. You know absolutely NOTHING about me, yet here you are assuming I have never suffered domestic violence or job loss. You appear to be very angry.

Some parents on here are greedy when it comes to their children’s earnings. Rant away if it makes you feel better though.

I can tell you exactly what I've spent of pretty much any category you might mention, going back several years.

It's called budgeting & it's a life changing skill & habit to have.

When I was the child it was a share of costs. I paid half of most bills. Groceries was a bit informal, I'd do - and actually do, not just pay for - a few shops a month.

That's how families should do things IMHO. Charging a fixed rent is too transactional.

(If there's a big difference in income it shouldn't be even splits of expenses; in my case our incomes were about equal.)

@vodkaredbullgirl

what if she can afford it but decides she just wants an easier life and would like to keep on living with you rent free?

Well firstly child benefit is more than £30 .

My D’s has just started an apprenticeship - I now lose child maintenance ( dad doesn’t work so no real loss )
child benefit
child element of UC
and not sure yet if I will be paying a single person bedroom tax
i will also lose single person council tax .

you live in a dream world if you think I don’t need a contribution to get by .

Until she can afford to move out.

no i wont charge for rent. Only groceries. I rather they keep their money towards house deposit.

Exactly! So what if you don’t NEED the money. Just treat yourself - like shop at M&S rather than Tesco or whatever.

Since when is child benefit £30 a month?

I don’t agree with secretly saving kids dig money ,I think that is infantilising them
We don’t charge our Dc rent and have/will assist with house deposits
But no way am I in a middle class bubblr
Was very poor at Uni and have worked very hard to get to where I am now

@LazyBumMum

Young people dont need to have everything handed to them on a plate! It does them good to want and to have things to strive towards.

and they don’t need to go straight from living at home or uni to buying their own place either! Nothing wrong with renting in a grubby house share for a bit. These things are character forming!

@vodkaredbullgirl

until what age?

Well it looks like when child benefit stops kids have to start paying to make up for it at a very high cost so instead of the £30 CB parents want hundreds.
As soon as parents know of kids working mum and dad want their share.

Zero from mine. I can afford not to and he’s saving up for a high cost professional training course. He’s remarkably good with money. If he was profligate that would be different.

Normal family—really? You’re trying to portray a couple with 4 kids who’ve moved in with granny so that they can spend £15, 000 a year on takeaways as an everyday normal family? In what world 😳? I can just well imagine the type of people you hang around with 🫤. No wonder some people on here can’t help their children save money for a deposit. Watching these Jermey Kyle type of shows has really skewed their perspective of what normal is 😲.

I wouldn't particularly want to house share indefinitely with my adult children, especially if they were living rent free. They are supposed to grow up and leave home, and give us time to enjoy living our lives exactly how we want to, having put them first throughout their childhood. We have lives too!

Rent is partly compensation for giving up your space again, as well as covering extra costs.