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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to wish that there was dedicated housing for quiet people?

190 replies

NoMoreNoisePlease · 02/06/2024 13:40

I’m Autistic(Diagnosed) and I’ve never been a fan of noise but I’m becoming increasingly noise averse as I’m approaching middle age.

I don’t expect complete silence and I actively enjoy hearing two of my neighbours’ children play and having fun but some others seem to spend 3/4 of their time screaming. Why do so many children seem to scream now?

Plus there’s the thump of footballs, rusty trampoline springs, people playing loud music, fireworks and so many other loud intrusive noises.

I want to get away from it all but moving rurally(I’m semi rural) isn’t really the best option for me due to disabilities.

I think that I’m going to have to move to an over 50s complex as soon as I’m old enough. Though I fear the blaring televisions.

AIBU to wish that there was specific housing for quiet noise averse people like me?

OP posts:
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6
BarHumbugs · 02/06/2024 17:46

"Why do so many children seem to scream now?" I remember my dad asking this when I was a child almost 40 years ago. He bought a house near a good primary school to ensure we'd get in then spent the next 60 years complaining about the noise and refusing to move!

WoollyFurs · 02/06/2024 17:42

Good threads topic OP.

Can I just say, for those who don't have the option of moving at present...

  • Invest in noise cancelling headphones
  • Put more relaxing noise on. I can't soundproof some rooms without spending a fortune. Tried those YouTube relaxing noise videos (Search Healing frequency Hz or Malte Marten and you get shown a whole list of hippy loveliness). Not perfect but it does help "cover" the bad noise.
PurpleWhiteGreen123 · 02/06/2024 17:41

My neighbours shout at each constantly it does my head in. (I live in a flat). There's lots of ideas on Google for quiet housing. I like this one, attached

AIBU to wish that there was dedicated housing for quiet people?
pizzaHeart · 02/06/2024 17:35

Bingbangboo · 02/06/2024 14:47

I'd move in tomorrow. I'd also add hot tubs, pressure washers, basketballs and people who talk through their car's bluetooth whilst sitting on their drive to the banned list. The woman over the road has a cat scarer machine and the clicking of that drives me mad, but also has no impact at all upon passing cats.

Why on earth she needs a cat scarer machine? I didn’t know they even exist.

BiscuityBoyle · 02/06/2024 17:34

ConfusedConfuse · 02/06/2024 14:31

Detached.

Great in theory but the most noise I get in my house is from next door but one and next door but two. Next door but two will play music in his garden on full blast. Next door but one is a fog horn of a woman. Honestly, my downstairs is knocked through. I can be at the front of my house but if my back window is open I can hear her talking to her kids in her garden. Two houses away.

user1471538283 · 02/06/2024 17:32

I've lived in lots of different cities, terraced houses, flats. Lots of people living next to each other and never had a problem with noise. We all had to live together so we were considerate and respectful.

After my experience of very noisy neighbours I am really sensitive to loud music and shouting. The very noisy neighbours hated other people's noise!

It was so upsetting. My need for quiet didn't impact them but their noise made me sick. No one really understand what a number it does on your health unless they've been through it. We need peace and quiet to thrive.

I've since moved and it's bliss. People mow their lawns and walk their dogs.

Maybe for your quiet area you could have a probationary period?

Original poster
NoMoreNoisePlease · 02/06/2024 17:32

If a group of musicians and singers decided to found a building that’s not near anyone, with dedicated rehearsal spaces and an acceptance that regular practice, regardless of volume, will be allowed throughout the day I really can’t imagine why I’d have any objections unless I was being forced to live there.

OP posts:
BigWillyLittleTodger · 02/06/2024 17:31

RoseUnder · 02/06/2024 15:43

Yes! Eg 10am to noon on a Sunday. That’s reasonable. Then everyone knows come midday they can relax in peace. Surely people would sign up voluntarily to do this?

Show quote history

The problem with this is the British weather, it could (more than likely) be raining in the designated allowed time zone, I think a lot of people mow their lawns after watching a weather report and mowing when it’s guaranteed to be dry!

PaperSheet · 02/06/2024 17:28

Thelastbitofketchup · 02/06/2024 17:21

I fail to see the problem with people seeking a community that works for them,

Hmm, well there are several examples on this thread alone.

I suspect what you mean is you just want people around you to live how you want them to.

there are plenty of houses in the middle of nowhere; where does it stop- too loud wave? Too loud birds? Car in the distance

But if everyone agrees to live in the same way which they all want, why is that a bad thing?
If I want my neighbours to live in a certain way, and they want that too, and want me to live that way that I want to, why is that wrong? We're all happy. We're not forcing you to live there as well. We'll do it by ourselves.

Original poster
NoMoreNoisePlease · 02/06/2024 17:28

I suspect what you mean is you just want people around you to live how you want them to.

there are plenty of houses in the middle of nowhere; where does it stop- too loud wave? Too loud birds? Car in the distance

That’s for me to decide where my tolerance limits are. And the point of the community would be that we change our environment to suit ourselves and leave everyone else to live as they wish. Besides as I already posted in my OP and which you apparently decided to ignore, living in the middle of nowhere doesn’t work for me due to various disabilities that I have.

I’m wondering if you’re one of those people who are so wedded to the idea that they have every right to make as much noise as possible regardless of the impact on their neighbours because you seem terribly offended/put out by the idea that some of us would prefer/ indeed require a quieter way of life. I fail to see why that offends you when it requires no accommodation from you because I presume that you’d hardly be the first in line to sign up for it.

OP posts:
Thelastbitofketchup · 02/06/2024 17:21

I fail to see the problem with people seeking a community that works for them,

Hmm, well there are several examples on this thread alone.

I suspect what you mean is you just want people around you to live how you want them to.

there are plenty of houses in the middle of nowhere; where does it stop- too loud wave? Too loud birds? Car in the distance

DdraigGoch · 02/06/2024 17:20

SillyLemonHelper · 02/06/2024 17:05

Sounds great in theory, but the reason why this wouldn't work is because ND people are only averse to others' noise – and not their own!

We all make noise without realising just how much (eg if the seemingly low noise is amplified a certain way for someone in the next room), plus everyone has different specific noise triggers.

Also, the conversations/conflict between ND neighbours re the noise would go very badly!

Saying this as an ND person myself with plenty of experience with other ND people!

Good insulation is important too.

user1471556818 · 02/06/2024 17:18

I'm just not sure when people became so inconsiderate to others.
I just didn't let my dc make a lot of noise outside especially before 9 am or after 7 .
Music just keep it very low or use headphones.
Yes I've had bbqs and parties but I've told the neighbours and usually invited them .After 11 everyone inside.
Didn't walk home late talking loudly , giggling laughing .
I've never been so delighted when neighbours moved taking their constantly barking dog and screaming loud kids away.
They never made any effort to tone it down in anyway

EmpressSoleil · 02/06/2024 17:16

I'm a silence person. I wfh and never have the radio on or any music playing etc. I love peace and quiet and like you, I have become more like this as I've got older.

I'm sitting in the garden now and all I can hear are birds. It's lovely. I live in a London terrace with houses also backing onto us but I've been lucky here. It really isn't noisy that often. The neighbours at the back do have loud parties sometimes but I can't hear it from the front where my bedroom is and they're always late ones where I'm usually on the way to bed before it starts.

It's one of the reasons I won't move from here, unless things change. As I've ironically never lived anywhere this peaceful! Even though I've lived in rural areas before.

Original poster
NoMoreNoisePlease · 02/06/2024 17:14

Sounds great in theory, but the reason why this wouldn't work is because ND people are only averse to others' noise – and not their own!

This is true to an extent. But it wouldn’t just be for ND people and while everyone inevitably makes noise at times, some of us are genuinely very quiet as a rule. I certainly am.

OP posts:
shellshocks · 02/06/2024 17:13

Yes, beware the over 50's complex, my mum, aunt and uncle live in different retirement places and have all had trouble with neighbours booming TV's. All bar one resolved.

I live on a busy road - you get used to. I can handle bbqs, lawnmowers and power tools - anything that's fairly necessary (to the noisemaker) but loud music, TV noise, shouting, banging and anything which is just plain inconsiderate makes my blood boil.

Praying that one day I can afford to live detached.

OpusGiemuJavlo · 02/06/2024 17:12

Sounds wonderful! I am sure there would be a huge narket for homes in a dedicated "quiet zone"

The tricky thing would be border effects. Assuming that one can usually hear people in next-door-but-one's garden the quiet zone would have to have a two-house-deep border of people who were required to be quiet for the benefit of people in the quiet zone in one direction but who had normal-noise-volume from the neighbours in the other direction.

All properties would have to be leasehold rather than freehold with the freeholder being a management committee with the power to force you to sell and move elsewhere if you broke the quietness rules.

Onemonkeyand3wisemen · 02/06/2024 17:12

You would absolutely love living next door to my neighbour who's on the spectrum, she is always absolutely bellowing and it's mega mega loud and there's absolutely no need for it, you could say it's her a condition but it's not as if there is something she doesn't want anyone to hear she will practically whisper.

Original poster
NoMoreNoisePlease · 02/06/2024 17:11

I hear screaming more often that not. Not all kids do it, next door’s kid is a delight but it seems to be the norm now.

OP posts:
EmeraldRoulette · 02/06/2024 17:11

Am with you OP
Also concerned about loud TVs if I go to over 55s when the time comes

And noisy cars and bikes with modified exhausts....argh.

I'm not autistic.

my mum complains that she can't hear me enter the house. I don't know how people make so much noise!

Original poster
NoMoreNoisePlease · 02/06/2024 17:10

so no need for the segregation you’re suggesting then?🙄

Well there is because there’s plenty of inconsiderate people out there and you don’t get to choose who you live next to. And some of us are so noise averse that it’s genuinely detrimental to us. I fail to see the problem with people seeking a community that works for them, that no one would be forced to live in and which is adapted to our needs.

OP posts:
OriginalUsername2 · 02/06/2024 17:09

Yes please! No people that can only communicate by shouting allowed.

Thelastbitofketchup · 02/06/2024 17:09

I find that a majority of kids seem to scream now, even if they don’t have special needs. I’m not the only one who’s noticed this.

it really isn’t a majority 😆
confirmation bias - you see(hear) what you’re looking for

ChrissyShenkle · 02/06/2024 17:08

This is it

AIBU to wish that there was dedicated housing for quiet people?
Terrribletwos · 02/06/2024 17:06

Cazzovuoi · 02/06/2024 14:27

Adult only apartment complexes and housing estates are my dream.

I can’t stand kids and am always happy to pay premium to avoid them!

What if they have dogs tho, that bark all day?