Was this weird of me at work?

This thread is really sad. I can’t imagine being offended by someone complimenting me. We really have to censor an off the cuff compliment to another woman now ? Women really get offended by this ?
sad as fuck
you did nothing wrong OP

I don't want people recognising my beauty in the workplace. That's not what I'm there for. I'm there to kickass at my job

Agreed Marblessolveeverything

By assuming it's jealousy you assume anyone who disagrees wants to be objectified in the work place. We don't. It can be really hard in some (mostly male dominated) industry/sector for women, especially younger ones with less of a track record, to be taken seriously. It's worse when instead of being respected equally to a man you get a compliment on your hair and told you're beautiful.

What?
Now you should not compliment clothes people wear and you cannot complimemt the way they look?

Why are you so desperate to prove you are "more than just your body"? Insicure in your brain much?
Or did you never received compliment about your look and you are complaining now?

You could befriend women from my workplace who made a drama when I described hipo as fat.
Because "we don't call anyone fat".
They were all fat women offended on a behalf of a fucking animal.

@ByNavyOtter the bitterness is strong with you it would seem.

HR would provide the training which as mentioned is actually in the early years curriculum so most people who join actually don't have to advised how to be professional. Oh and no I have never had one HR complaint against me throughout my career so far, which is what you seem to inadvertently referring to.

I work with wonderfully gifted, talented individuals and my greatest achievement is seeing my development work produce future leaders. I don't recognize your viewpoint it must be rather uncomfortable where you are stuck in what really is an outdated point of view.

I would recommend caution should you attempt promotion or moving to a development role as most organisations offer EDI training in line with what I have detailed.

Compliments about clothes, whether to or from complete strangers or work colleagues are fine. I give and receive them.

I would never make the compliment tied to physical appearance. I'm with OP's colleague here.

LOL. Only mean girl here is the one trying to cast doubt in the mind of anyone recognising beauty in the workplace as some sort of professionalism issue. What do you do when a stunning woman joins your team? I can imagine you're a total cow to them. Also should you ever pull anyone aside for passing a compliment in the work place they will think you're a total bitter, bully so do he careful with that. I'd roll my eyes so hard if someone like you said 'it's not professional' and know that it was the jealousy talking.

Oh if only you knew the irony. 🥰. No not jealous at all. Because I want in a professional setting to be noted for my ability to deliver results. My capability to develop a productive innovative team.

I can advise that it is not welcome nor appropriate in a professional setting to refer to a person's physical attributes. I can say this because I am the person in receipt of them , which kind of dispells your rather school yard attempt of being mean girl. Honey, leave that to the Lynsey Lohan's of the world.

I wasn't actually commenting to the OP, NavyOtter but to you. You sound like a creep.

OP didn't do anything wrong and most women don't mind being complimented at all. Some don't like it and that's the point I was making.

I'll swerve your posts now as you give me the absolute ick.

@Handsomesquidward
Not weird. Quite lovely 🌹

Utter rubbish. She was being nice and any normal person knows this. You clearly have an issue with beautiful women being recognised and you seriously need to admit that to yourself and stop trying to make people feel bad about it who don't have that issue and can recognise someone's beauty. People don't have to change their behaviour because you're jealous and whatever reasons you give don't sufficiently disguise your real problem here. It's not convincing that you really aren't jealous and just have the view that this is an inappropriate work conversation.

I’ve been complimented on a ring I wore, a handbag, my hair, and on an outfit by female colleagues. I was on cloud nine the rest of the day. I see zero wrong with what you did, OP.

When I was in grad school, aged about 22, a fellow male student said, wow, look at you, when I wore a particularly nice outfit. He was a friend and had a girlfriend, and I felt wonderful…not creeped out at all. I still remember that with fondness, and I’m almost 60 now. When the intention is lovely, these compliments became wonderful memories of being young and lovely.

By the same token then, it's not ok to 'mock' or condemn people who have a different viewpoint to you, who do not like to be gazed upon or have their appearance commented on.

It's not anybody's 'right' to compliment and acknowledge women, beautiful or not, they are not a decoration for your approval.

I agree with you, Grendell, it's a risky thing to do it in a workplace. Some women like it but others do not and for that reason it shouldn't be something that women are expected to tolerate.

What's the difference between a woman complimenting and a man saying the same things? It's broadly accepted behaviour from women (as can be seen on this thread) but a man would probably hold back because it's not ok. It can make some women feel observed and intruded upon. That's how I feel about it - I don't like comments on my appearance. It's different to a comment about bag or shoes, they're not part of you.

Outside work I imagine it doesn't matter. Women that don't like it will do that half-smile because that's what women are conditioned to do. Women that do like it will be happy.

Women aren't a homogenous group who borg-think.

That's exactly it. People just want to go about their day being, not with any judement on their looks.

One of my colleagues and I frequently compliment each other's earrings, we obviously have similar taste. Even my introverted teens love it if someone compliments something they're wearing and they've even started complimenting strangers ocassionally because they realise how nice it feels. It's usually 'I love your tshirt' or similar but DD used to get compliments on her unusual hair a lot too.

Lol you can huff and puff and say here ridiculous things but I'm right aren't I? Mocking people who compliment and acknowledge beautiful women is a passive aggressive way to control your own jealousy.

I wouldn't ever pick on someone for being attractive. And I'm not jealous. I'm well respected in my profession for my skills not my face.

I learned a couple of jobs ago not to issue compliments to women in the workplace. We were in an open workspace and had frank discussions about this very issue and I learned a lot.

Several women said they don't "need" gratuitous compliments. They don't care what other people think about them and are not trying to impress or please other women. They present themselves as they want to present themselves. If a person issues a compliment it's like they are asserting power over the other - as if saying, "I decide if you are beautiful or not..." It was news to me but because several women said this, I made note of it.

But maybe the colleague thinks she's ugly and you just confirmed it because you didn't call her beautiful too?

I do it too; especially if people smell nice! I often tell them. Or if they are wearing something that really suits them (or a colour that really suits them).
Very occasionally it has happened back and it has honestly made my day. However if my DD (19) was with me she would tell me I was weird for saying it. Is your colleague who objected younger? I’m late 40s.

Of course not OP, it's lovely to compliment people - and very odd of your friend to say otherwise !

Is anybody allowed to have a differing view without attracting a moronic 'depressing' comment?

Lots of people like compliments, some though do not like compliments about their appearance (I'm also one of those) and they're allowed that without being 'told off'.

I give compliments about clothing or a bag or something like that but not about somebody's body.