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Original poster

Was this weird of me at work?

334 replies

Handsomesquidward · 02/06/2024 11:32

I'm a straight woman, I work in a semi-formal office environment. We have a young girl there who has beautiful long, blonde Rapunzel hair and who is just beautiful in general.
I haven't really spoken to her as she's in another department. I saw this girl and I just said 'Hi I hope you don't mind me saying, just wanted to say I really love your hair, you look beautiful!'
She seemed really happy I'd said it and appreciated it.
My other colleague was in the toilets too and had heard, she told me it was really weird and creepy id said that.
I feel so embarrassed now and wonder if I shouldn't have said anything. I was just trying to be nice, I imagine some women would be very jealous of her and she gets some cattiness, I don't think I said anything inappropriate.
Just wondered what others think? Surely it's a sad world where you can't compliment people.

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 02/06/2024 15:16

Saying 'I love your hair' is great, but for some reason saying 'you are/look beautiful' can sometimes sound a bit off.
I'm not sure why, other than it's the sort of thing a creepy man might say. I guess it could be seen as unwanted flirting?
I'm not saying you were being creepy. It's great to compliment someone. Maybe make it more about the specific trait, like 'oh, I like/love your hair/top/trainers' etc rather than it being centred around their perceived physical attractiveness.

But the person you said it to was fine with it so no harm done.

HelterSkelter224 · 02/06/2024 15:16

It's a compliment! And it's lovely to see women making other women feel good about themselves. Not creepy at all I would have been so chuffed if I were her.

Chanelbasketballandchain · 02/06/2024 15:16

Marblessolveeverything · 02/06/2024 15:14

Generally we raise people to not comment on another's appearance but their qualities.

I don't like people commenting on my appearance and wouldn't like it from either sex in a professional environment.

oh gosh, why are people always so depressing.

Marblessolveeverything · 02/06/2024 15:14

Generally we raise people to not comment on another's appearance but their qualities.

I don't like people commenting on my appearance and wouldn't like it from either sex in a professional environment.

ambushoftigers · 02/06/2024 15:09

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 02/06/2024 15:08

She will have had to put a lot of work into having such long hair so it's not even like it's "just something she was born with" really

It's not inappropriate and complementing someone on something like that is nice.

I get told by colleagues they like my hair and it looks beautiful/gorgeous/etc whenever I change it up. It's nice to know they've noticed

Yes, but not someone at work you’ve never spoken to before and don’t know.

Blacknosugarplease · 02/06/2024 15:09

I receive compliments from other women at work quite often. It’s really nice as I do make an effort with the things I’m complimented on (outfit/make up style etc). It’s a lot of effort to maintain the hairstyle you’ve described and I’m sure you made her day 😊Your friend/colleague is making you second guess yourself sounds like a drama llama. Does she also make issues out of other non-issues? 🙄

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 02/06/2024 15:08

She will have had to put a lot of work into having such long hair so it's not even like it's "just something she was born with" really

It's not inappropriate and complementing someone on something like that is nice.

I get told by colleagues they like my hair and it looks beautiful/gorgeous/etc whenever I change it up. It's nice to know they've noticed

Chanelbasketballandchain · 02/06/2024 15:07

It's sad that people find compliments creepy. "your hair looks amazing" is totally what I would say even at work.

ambushoftigers · 02/06/2024 15:02

BranchGold · 02/06/2024 11:37

I think compliments are nice to do, especially when it’s regarding something someone has actively chosen, so you’re complimenting their taste or the effort they’ve made.

I think it’s generally best to steer away from statements like ‘you’re beautiful’ in a workplace though.

I agree.

Itsallsostressful · 02/06/2024 15:02

I don't think it was strange at all...compliments are great and can really give a person a boost. I think if you want to compliment someone do it there and then ! 😊

Fraaahnces · 02/06/2024 14:59

God… This says more about your friend than you.

Cherrysoup · 02/06/2024 14:56

People are forever telling me they love my hair-curly ginger! I’ve had a lot of compliments on my recent weightloss too, I’m very happy to be told.

I’ve occasionally told people they look fabulous, lady in a stunning trouser suit the other day, girl in great dress this week, boots on someone another time. If someone at work is wearing a cracking dress/trousers, I’ll tell them. I love the librarian’s look, she’s very good at dressing for occasions and very good at decorating the (school) library for the same.

Conniebygaslight · 02/06/2024 14:45

Completely appropriate OP and very nice too. I compliment at work and publicly to strangers and have never encountered any negativity.
It’s not weird. Your colleague shouldn’t have said that to you. Calling your behaviour weird is weirder and unkind

Conniebygaslight · 02/06/2024 14:38

BranchGold · 02/06/2024 11:37

I think compliments are nice to do, especially when it’s regarding something someone has actively chosen, so you’re complimenting their taste or the effort they’ve made.

I think it’s generally best to steer away from statements like ‘you’re beautiful’ in a workplace though.

OP said ‘You look beautiful’ not ‘you are beautiful’ which is very different.

Choochoo21 · 02/06/2024 14:35

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 02/06/2024 11:56

Please don't stop giving compliments OP, it'd a lovely thing to do. Don't mind that grumpy colleague

I completely agree!!

I get compliments every day at work and I always give people compliments too!

There is nothing wrong with it and some people will try and find anything to be offended about.

willWillSmithsmith · 02/06/2024 14:31

I said the same once to a colleague at work. I didn’t really know her but I said I thought her hair was really beautiful. She thanked me and that was the end of that. (She’d probably heard it a million times before). I don’t think it’s creepy if said in a matter of fact way.

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 02/06/2024 11:56

Please don't stop giving compliments OP, it'd a lovely thing to do. Don't mind that grumpy colleague

KreedKafer · 02/06/2024 11:54

Not weird or creepy at all.

I’ve got quite distinctive hair. I get quite a lot compliments on it from strangers, almost always women. I never find it creepy! I’m honestly always delighted and it’s a big confidence boost for me.

Sahara123 · 02/06/2024 11:51

A complete stranger told me she loved my dress the other day . It made me very happy !

Original poster
Handsomesquidward · 02/06/2024 11:47

OldTinHat · 02/06/2024 11:47

It's fabulous to receive a random compliment and really lifts your day.

I don't think you were weird at all.

I also give compliments to people. On Friday, in a queue, I was complimented twice by complete strangers - one on my tattoo and one on my dress. I'm still smiling and feeling happy!

Keep doing what you do, OP. Ignore your miserable colleagues!

I'm glad the compliments made you happy :) snd thank you

OP posts:
OldTinHat · 02/06/2024 11:47

It's fabulous to receive a random compliment and really lifts your day.

I don't think you were weird at all.

I also give compliments to people. On Friday, in a queue, I was complimented twice by complete strangers - one on my tattoo and one on my dress. I'm still smiling and feeling happy!

Keep doing what you do, OP. Ignore your miserable colleagues!

DoYouSmokePaul · 02/06/2024 11:45

It’s completely normal, to me anyway! I love complimenting people on anything - hair, clothes, nail polish etc.

I know how insecure I was as a young woman despite the fact that when I look back on photos I look gorgeous!! Thought I was ugly at the time. So it might boost her confidence.

shuffleofftobuffalo · 02/06/2024 11:44

I think complimenting people is nice and I do it myself.

However, I think in the workplace it's best not to comment on anyone's appearance - too much of a potential minefield.

Original poster
Handsomesquidward · 02/06/2024 11:43

True, I suppose if it had been a man saying it it could've been a HR complaint.

OP posts:
OMGsamesame · 02/06/2024 11:42

BranchGold · 02/06/2024 11:37

I think compliments are nice to do, especially when it’s regarding something someone has actively chosen, so you’re complimenting their taste or the effort they’ve made.

I think it’s generally best to steer away from statements like ‘you’re beautiful’ in a workplace though.

This

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