Was this weird of me at work?

You said yourself she looked pleased by your compliment, ignore your other colleague.

I always compliment people. There’s so much negativity in this world, why not share a little positivity every day.

As a child barely anyone complimented me, so the few times people did really stick in my memory and make me smile when I think back to how that made me feel.

Im so proud that my children copy and compliment people too. Many years ago my 3/4 year old saw an old lady walking past her at the beach and my daughter said loudly “oh wow I love your flowery sandals so much, they are so pretty!” And honestly this lady looked like she’d won the lottery! It makes me smile whenever I think about it.

I agree with PP. I don't think it's normal interaction with someone at work that I don't know. I wouldn't go to HR with it, but I would find it strange.

If someone has nice hair or has made an effort to look nice it may not affect their work but I think it's nice to compliment them if they seem to have made an effort. There's a young lady near us has beautiful long red hair always immaculate it must take her ages to brush, if it were me I'd like to think it had been noticed.

I don't know where you work, but people around me manage to do both.
It's actually more pleasant to put a casual sentence here and there. And my job is as corporate as you get.

Compliments are lovely, especially to our fellow women!

I got told I looked like a young 32yo the other day, given I'm a 44 year old flump I appreciated it.

The more you post, the more you sound jealous 😂

Once again, getting compliments about appearance takes nothing from skills or professionalism. The stereotype of the "beautiful but clueless" should be long dead.

@Chanelbasketballandchain the comment referenced a personal appearance not a I animate object that is the key point.

I am not HR I was trained by state HR and this was clearly stated and was part of Irelands state employee EDI training for Directors . 🤷‍♀️

Would have been creepy if you had silently gone upto her and started running your fingers through her hair whispering pretty to yourself yes. Paying someone a compliment is not creepy. Your coworker sounds jealous.

It's not a normal interaction. If I get my hair cut I don't want people saying oh your hair looks nice I want them saying how is that pitch going for Friday. Nice work with the XYZ case.

That does not seem inappropriate to me in an office environment. If you went on and on about her appearance it might be different. A compliment like that is not overstepping at all.

actually "john age 50" can comment on my handbag without being creepy.

A woman can tell me "I like your coat" without being creepy either.

You are giving such a bad name to HR, and it's frustrating we have to deal with people like you too often, you are so much more of a nuisance than people having normal interraction.

I suppose, going forward, you might consider if you might be seen to be "cornering" someone by choosing to say it in the toilet. However, your intentions were lovely, and please don't let this colleague's unkind comment, stop you being kind and complimentary to others, in or out of work.

Exactly!

Absolutely have nice hair, be beautiful. But why focus your compliments on it? And referring to a grown woman as a girl.. its odd

@Chanelbasketballandchain em nothing depressing about good HR practice. If you don't understand why we don't comment on someone's appearance you may want to engage with some upskilling.

Because if it is creepy from John age 50 why on earth would it be less creepy from Joan aged 50? If you start to pull that apart and not identify the blatant bias that is concerning.

Women don't owe anyone pretty.

i compliment people's clothes, i suppose that's different but i think it was nice your complimented her hair.

Thankfully we can manage to be successful professionally AND have nice accessories or nice hair.

Having beautiful hair or being pretty doesn't impact anyone's ability to do their job. Haven't we moved away from that by now?

I walked past a woman at work I’ve never spoken to and she started to ‘explain her lateness’ none of my business, but I said, ‘I was thinking about how lovely your dress was, not that you were late for work’ and she looked really happy!!

Sometimes a compliment is needed!

Achievements fine. But there's no place for focusing on a women's appearance/hair etc in a professional setting. It should be about their work not how nice they did their hair this morning.

I know.. so many miserable people. I always compliment people either on style, looks or achievements. I think an awful lot of people have big hang ups about themselves and if I think someone looks nice or has done something good I’ll cheerfully tell them.

It still could be with a woman doing it

1. She was a young girl? Really? I'm sure she sees herself as a professional woman.
2. Compliment people on something other than their appearance in the workplace.

So yeah I'd think you were sexist and infantilising if I'd heard that.

I think a hair compliment is fine and sounds like it made her feel good. It's not personal/overstepping in the way that, say, a comment like 'Have you lost weight?' would be in the workplace.

My ego likes a compliment from another woman...

I was wearing a pair shoes recently that I thought were in-between funky or frumpy and a stunningly styled woman at a meeting, stopped me and wow'd at my shoes. We had a discussion on funky or frumpy. Everytime I wear them, I think of her kindness, she never had to say what she was thinking.

It's a strange opener to someone you have never met before at work. It does sound more like an exchange in the pub at night, not in the office.

I'd probably lead with "How are you settling in to the team?" before commenting on her beauty.

If you already knew her, I think it would be more normal to say something like "Your hair/dress look nice today", but not to someone you just met at work.