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AIBU?

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Was this weird of me at work?

334 replies

Handsomesquidward · 02/06/2024 11:32

I'm a straight woman, I work in a semi-formal office environment. We have a young girl there who has beautiful long, blonde Rapunzel hair and who is just beautiful in general.
I haven't really spoken to her as she's in another department. I saw this girl and I just said 'Hi I hope you don't mind me saying, just wanted to say I really love your hair, you look beautiful!'
She seemed really happy I'd said it and appreciated it.
My other colleague was in the toilets too and had heard, she told me it was really weird and creepy id said that.
I feel so embarrassed now and wonder if I shouldn't have said anything. I was just trying to be nice, I imagine some women would be very jealous of her and she gets some cattiness, I don't think I said anything inappropriate.
Just wondered what others think? Surely it's a sad world where you can't compliment people.

OP posts:
Ofcourseshecan · 02/06/2024 17:04

OldTinHat · 02/06/2024 11:47

It's fabulous to receive a random compliment and really lifts your day.

I don't think you were weird at all.

I also give compliments to people. On Friday, in a queue, I was complimented twice by complete strangers - one on my tattoo and one on my dress. I'm still smiling and feeling happy!

Keep doing what you do, OP. Ignore your miserable colleagues!

I agree!

Handsomesquidward · 02/06/2024 17:04

wizarddry · 02/06/2024 17:03

If a colleague spoke about me on the Internet like you're doing about this one and I ever found out I'd feel sick at the sight of them. "Girl" "barbie doll". It's absolutely vile.

It's pointless being so angry. Stop with the dramatics and just ask yourself why you're getting so infuriated by this.

OP posts:
wizarddry · 02/06/2024 17:03

Handsomesquidward · 02/06/2024 17:02

I think you should relax a little 🤣

If a colleague spoke about me on the Internet like you're doing about this one and I ever found out I'd feel sick at the sight of them. "Girl" "barbie doll". It's absolutely vile.

Handsomesquidward · 02/06/2024 17:02

wizarddry · 02/06/2024 17:01

Get over her appearance already

I think you should relax a little 🤣

OP posts:
wizarddry · 02/06/2024 17:01

Handsomesquidward · 02/06/2024 16:57

She looks like a literal Barbie doll so I imagine she gets it a lot. Still, it was good of her to be gracious about it.

Get over her appearance already

wizarddry · 02/06/2024 17:01

Sue152 · 02/06/2024 16:57

Only on MN is calling women 'girls' an issue. In real life I hear people saying 'I'm going on holiday with the girls' or 'I'm going out with the girls' all the time.

Also compliments, I always think people who can't take compliments have low self esteem, they can't believe the compliment is true and so it makes them very uncomfortable. I also can't understand the idea that you can't compliment anyone on what they're wearing or if they've had their hair cut or had their nails done. Maybe it's just because we are all get on so well where I work but we frequently compliment each other over a whole range of things.

OP I bet your colleague wouldn't have thought it creepy if you'd complimented her!

I can't stand it in real life either. It's so insulting.

saraclara · 02/06/2024 16:57

Marblessolveeverything · 02/06/2024 16:04

@PenguinLord it is literally one of the fundamentals of sexism and infantilism of women.it forms a full module on Ireland's EDI state training for Directors in the Public Sector so I will go with their researched peer reviewed approach.

I find it sad that a colleague doesn't understand that commenting on someone's appearance isn't appropriate anymore. Thankfully 99% of our staff got it.

A director probably shouldn't go around telling new hire young woman grads that they're beautiful, that's true. But that's not what we're talking about here.

Sue152 · 02/06/2024 16:57

Only on MN is calling women 'girls' an issue. In real life I hear people saying 'I'm going on holiday with the girls' or 'I'm going out with the girls' all the time.

Also compliments, I always think people who can't take compliments have low self esteem, they can't believe the compliment is true and so it makes them very uncomfortable. I also can't understand the idea that you can't compliment anyone on what they're wearing or if they've had their hair cut or had their nails done. Maybe it's just because we are all get on so well where I work but we frequently compliment each other over a whole range of things.

OP I bet your colleague wouldn't have thought it creepy if you'd complimented her!

Handsomesquidward · 02/06/2024 16:57

She looks like a literal Barbie doll so I imagine she gets it a lot. Still, it was good of her to be gracious about it.

OP posts:
Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 02/06/2024 16:55

I would love if someone said that ro me! Bet you made her day op!

Hotttchoc · 02/06/2024 16:53

It was a lively thing to say. Your colleague should feel bad for being a bitch yo you if anything!

saraclara · 02/06/2024 16:52

wizarddry · 02/06/2024 15:37

It's not a normal interaction. If I get my hair cut I don't want people saying oh your hair looks nice I want them saying how is that pitch going for Friday. Nice work with the XYZ case.

I like both.

My team would absolutely compliment me on my hair after I'd been to the hairdressers. They'd also say if they liked a new top that I was wearing. And they'd also comment me on a professional success.

SilverBranchGoldenPears · 02/06/2024 16:49

I think it’s wonderful! I do it. I remember my daughter started doing it when she was small. She’s go up to strangers and tell them that she thought they had beautiful….. so sweet.

ByNavyOtter · 02/06/2024 16:48

LlynTegid · 02/06/2024 16:47

Hair is fine to compliment. Only thing wrong I think is referring to an adult as a girl, not a woman.

It's innocent though isn't it. I cut imagine being this uptight when people's intentions are so kind.

AgnesX · 02/06/2024 16:48

You never can tell how people are going to react to anything these days. There are people who get offended if you breathe.

At work, unless I really know someone (and even then I'm careful about what I say) I think it's best not to make personal remarks at all.

LlynTegid · 02/06/2024 16:47

Hair is fine to compliment. Only thing wrong I think is referring to an adult as a girl, not a woman.

Mrsdht · 02/06/2024 16:46

Not weird to me. If someone has great hair I say so. If they're wearing a lovely dress I say so. I've had strangers compliment me before and it made me feel quite special!

lovingmumsaremagnificent · 02/06/2024 16:45

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HateMyRubbishBoss · 02/06/2024 16:44

@Handsomesquidward you’re lovely!

you just don’t know how you “save” someone’s mental health just by a compliment like this!

please please keep on being how you are !

wizarddry · 02/06/2024 16:42

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That's a different scenario to the work place loos

lovingmumsaremagnificent · 02/06/2024 16:40

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Marblessolveeverything · 02/06/2024 16:36

@ByNavyOtter this may come as a huge shock but not all women want randos commenting on their appearance. It isn't for you, it isn't your business. Simples

wizarddry · 02/06/2024 16:35

ByNavyOtter · 02/06/2024 16:33

I think you do lol, but maybe you're not getting enough and that's why you think it's a drama. I've literally never heard anything so odd.

I really don't. I hate compliments based on my looks. I always ignore them and change the subject. I don't get my hair cut for my work colleagues

HashB · 02/06/2024 16:35

Fraaahnces · 02/06/2024 14:59

God… This says more about your friend than you.

I think this ^^
it could possibly be that your friend would love a compliment like that but doesn’t get it.

ByNavyOtter · 02/06/2024 16:33

wizarddry · 02/06/2024 16:31

What? I don't want comments on my hair thanks.

I think you do lol, but maybe you're not getting enough and that's why you think it's a drama. I've literally never heard anything so odd.