Was this weird of me at work?

That post is so incomprehensible and incoherent it's actually impossible to respond to. Although it confirms your inability to compare like with like.

You also a quite remarkable capacity for twisting and reinventing what other posters have said; although that capacity may well simply be tied to your lack of understanding what has been written.

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle just so you know, you claiming that one normal interaction isn't comparable to another normal interaction doesn't make it so.

God knows why you're so averse to compliments and positive social interaction but you do you.

Sounds exhausting to be this bothered about something that probably doesn't happen all that often. If you get one say thank you and move on like everyone else, sheesh.

Wear a badge of it means that much to you and people will steer clear

Take your own advice about not dictating others what to say and think and jog on with a cookie. 😎

The examples given by Pillock are absolutely nothing like making unasked for comments on personal appearance. Pillock seems to have considerable difficulty distinguishing between what are acceptable workplace interactions and what isn't.

Holding a door open or passing over a cup of coffee are helpful actions, intended to be helpful. Of course you would thank the person.

Asking about how someone's weekend was, potentially strays into not acceptable because the questioner may well know nothing about the person's life outside work and it's presumptuous to expect answers. If the response is a one word "fine" - then the questioner should leave it. You (general you) have no right to know anymore about colleagues' life outside work than the colleague chooses to tell you.

On the other hand if the question was "how was the Taylor Swift show" because the questioner knew her colleague was going to it - perfectly fine.

I was discussing this thread with the head of my firm's HR department and the head of our training department last night at a work social event. HR head's advice on "paying compliments" was that the "love your dress/bag/shoes/coat etc, etc" where did you get it?" ones are fine. It's an acknowledgement of something the person being "complimented" on is in control of. The conversation arose partly because of this thread and partly because the male head of training, like many of the female attendees but none of the other male attendees, had made an effort to dress up. His outfit was extremely stylish and he was pleased I commented on it. That comment was on his clothes - not his looks.

In HR head's view the "ooh you're beautiful/ you look beautiful" ones are not acceptable in a work place.

People frequently compliment my hair. I shave my head and then have beautiful, and very colourful, hair art painted in. It would be quite weird if everyone in the office pretended not to notice. I mean, it'd be absolutely fine but people do tend to comment.

Likewise if someone on my team had a dramatic colour change or restyle, it'd feel strange beyond belief for me not to offer a compliment 😮🤷

@HasToStop I think you may be my long lost sister ...... ☺️

You need to wear a badge rather than expecting the whole world to know exactly what you want and change to suit you.

You're so desperate to keep this stupid thread going, PenguinLord. I really don't give a fig what you think about anything and your fake wittering about my experiences.

I'm not going to answer your questions or respond again but stop telling other women how they should feel about your views on complimenting. You don't get it. Got that. I won't be responding but feel free to hector along in this echo-chamber all you like.

Firstly, I am sorry for your experiences with sexual harrassment, but you need to stop projecting abnormal situations onto normal interactions and treat inappropriate touching in the same way as someone saying a spontanous one-off comment about your hair. just because you had a horrible experience that is not normal does not mean that the whole world should stop normal interractions between each other.
Am I supposed to ask "Will I make your day with a compliment?" each time before saying anything? You're now being ridiculous.
Id rather chance it and give 99.99% of people have a better day than not say anything to anyone.
If someone says a random 'nice dress'- are you now going to take them all to grievance because of that one experience? If 'for safety' you want to avoid pleasant interactions with people and if you still feel uneasy about people saying genuine and nice stuff, then you need to consider therapy as this is not normal.

I thin it's the opposite, you have been brainwashed into thinking a normal social exchange (men also can get complimentes is sexist and weird. It's a way to severe relationships, keep your head down and sit in your little cubicle, only interacting talking about work. A little sad.

I received a compliment yesterday from a stranger, someone I pass daily and say morning to, but we don't talk or know each other. He said that I looked really good! It made my day. I'm still smiling about it now. I've lost over 3 stone and no one has even acknowledged it! I automatically thought of your post. I came back to say, giving genuine compliments really does make people's day. It's lovely and kind and costs nothing.

The examples you've listed are nothing like the sort of pass remarkable comment which is under discussion here

They’re similar in brevity, intent and pertenece and as the many posts on MN will attest, people also object to having doors held open and being asked about their weekends.

but they are whether you like it or not part of normal social exchange. To declare having to thank people for compliments as tiresome is really overstating the effort involved in engaging in the cultural contract.

Once again I am convinced that the Venn diagram of people complaining about this nonsense and the myriad posters wondering why they have no friends is a circle.

Do you often have difficulty comparing like with like?

Do you? You seem to find the idea of compliments very alien. Yes, it's part of normal social interaction.

People like people who make them feel good. People like to talk to each other, and make other people happy.

Google would seem to suggest that many employers don't think it is either.

This is one of dozens of articles which don't consider that comments about personal appearance are acceptable.

Do you often have difficulty comparing like with like?

The examples you listed are absolutely nothing like "ooh you've got beautiful hair"

The examples you've listed are nothing like the sort of pass remarkable comment which is under discussion here.

Nothing alike?! It's a compliment, not a bomb threat. Of course it's a normal social interaction

Comparing apples with, well something that bears as much resemblance to an apple as, say a prawn cocktail is really tiresome.

The examples you've listed are nothing like the sort of pass remarkable comment which is under discussion here.

I don’t think people commenting on how a woman looks is part of normal social exchange, we’ve been brainwashed to think it’s acceptable but it isn’t.

I get tired of saying thank you to unsolicited opinions on my looks

Do you find general interactions tough also?

someone holds open door - tiresome to say thanks

someone passes you a coffee - tiresome to say thanks

someone asks how your weekend was - tiresome to say good thanks

This is just part and parcel of normal social exchange. Say thanks and move on. Or alternatively ask them not to comment on your looks. And move on.

handwringing about the awfulness of a well intended gesture is really what is tiresome.

I use PowerPoint! 😀Primary school.

Don't be silly Penguinlord, no-one uses PowerPoint anymore

Dear diary,
Today someone at work told someone else their hair was great, someone else complimented someone's shoes, I told someone I liked their makeup, we also discussed a colleague who is a really talented cake baker who did a lovely cake a few weeks ago. We all had an amazing day, feel sad for all of you les misérables out there who would be upset at any of that and who will never experience a joy of other's kindness because you think compliments belittle you if they are not about your superb powerpoint presentations.

What also irks me is that there's this idea that attention cannot be unwanted or it's fine because it's from another woman. I had to endure, in my 20s, a horrible older woman colleague who kept calling me "pretty" and telling me about her secual encounters (in detail, at work, but without anyone else around). She would then loudly wonder in front of others why I was single because I was, after all, so pretty. It was horrible, and I was so junior that I felt like I couldn't speak up. It was in the 00's when it was all just 'a bit of fun banter' but I used to curl up inside whenever I saw her. Not at all what the op said/did, but women can absolutely be totally inappropriate and just plain predatory (again, not at all directed at op. But just to show a seemingly nice public comment isn't always that nice)

I don't want to opt out of someone's unwanted attention. I'm at my place of work, let me work.

I would ADORE it if someone referred to me as a Barbie doll 😭I still remember my Auntie saying something similar when she commented on how teeny tiny my size 10 leather "bomber" jacket was, when I was about 19. It stuck with me all these years! No chance of anyone confusing me with one now, sadly 😅Horses for courses, I guess.