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AIBU?

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Original poster

To go for lunch on my own?

64 replies

Umbrellala · 02/06/2024 09:44

I have no plans today, DH working and everyone who I might usually see is busy.

Pregnancy cravings are a thing and I really fancy lunch at a restaurant in town, and then a potter to the bookshop to buy a new book. Would it look weird if I was sat in the restaurant on my own? It’s not an overly formal place.

Would you think twice or judge someone if you saw them on their own?

YABU - honestly, yes I would judge
YANBU - not at all, go for it

OP posts:
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GigiAnnna · 06/09/2024 14:40

I would sometimes do this while I was on my lunch break at work but I wouldn't bother to specifically take myself out to eat with that as the focus. I wouldn't judge anyone doing that though.

Fathercrispness · 06/09/2024 14:34

Pre-kids I might have found this uncomfortable but now I would just relish in the glory of nobody demanding anything from me and not having to cook or tidy up.

Westfacing · 02/06/2024 14:11

For the life of me I can't imagine why anyone would 'judge' someone who was eating alone!

OP have you never been out on your own?

ElTortilla · 02/06/2024 14:04

I do this and it's lovely. I even do it abroad as I travel solo a lot. I'm really fat too. Barely anyone looks at me and if they do I don't care. You shouldn't either. Enjoy!

greengreyblue · 02/06/2024 13:30

Go for it. It will feel odd at first but once you’ve done it you’ll be doing it more. I often go to the cinema alone or for a coffee if I’m out shopping. Have done lunch on my own but not dinner- yet.

PenelopeFeatherington · 02/06/2024 13:26

Can you explain why you think people may judge you OP? On what basis?

BobbyBiscuits · 02/06/2024 11:28

Have you never eaten out alone before? When I go to cafes and stuff there's loads of people alone, working, on phones etc. then you see people eating together but not even talking, or acknowledging their companions.
Of course it's fine, I'd get the book first then you read it while you eat?

Margo2023 · 02/06/2024 11:28

Sounds like a perfect afternoon. I love and do this frequently, i appreciate my meal better too without having to chat during it. I'll often have a drink outside solo too with a book, I like seeing others do it too

LividPink · 02/06/2024 11:27

I’ve spent most of my adult life single (in between two disaster marriages ngl).

I am always baffled by these threads, because if i didn’t do things alone I’d never do them. Who can be arsed coordinating with friends every time you want a Nando’s or whatever?

Cinema. Restaurants. Theatres. Holidays. All AWESOME alone. Honest. It’s only weird the first time. Take a book if you think you need a prop but it’s awesome.

I now have a small child in tow as a single parent, and while holidaying solo with child was NOT easy, it certainly beat staying home because I was too scared to go.

Do it do it do it 😇

RedRobyn2021 · 02/06/2024 11:24

Mammma91 · 02/06/2024 09:56

I wouldn’t bother. I have a 9 week old and 5 year old but when I used to drop DS at nursery when I was heavily pregnant I’d go to the cafe for breakfast on my own. Not for a craving though, I didn’t want to wash dishes 😂 enjoy a nice peaceful lunch!

I'm definitely going to do this further along in my pregnancy when I feel better

RedRobyn2021 · 02/06/2024 11:23

Sounds lovely to me

SocksAndTheCity · 02/06/2024 11:23

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 02/06/2024 11:06

I find threads like these utterly baffling. Who cares what other people think? Why would anyone even notice someone having a bit of lunch? It's just such a non problem

I know. And as much as I hate the faux-confused 'I just don't understaaaaand!' judgeposts that pop up every time somebody wants to express their disapproval of something without being blatant about it, these ones actually do confuse me.

I've seen similar posts where people have asked if they 'should' go to the cinema alone - it would never even occur to me to do anything else. It suggests the OP would think somebody eating on their own was odd since she thinks other would too though, so maybe she'll come back and explain why Smile.

LoserWinner · 02/06/2024 11:22

I often go out for lunch on my own. It’s no big deal.

FizzyStream · 02/06/2024 11:17

I certainly would not judge. I'd be very envious! Enjoy!

focacciamuffin · 02/06/2024 11:15

I was having the same thoughts yesterday. Which is odd because for years I virtually lived in hotels and ate on my own every day.

pizzaHeart · 02/06/2024 11:12

I would go to a place your DH wouldn’t like or to the place you’d like “to check” before going together as a surprise.
Or any place you like ! Enjoy 😉

HereComesEverybody · 02/06/2024 11:10

Is it really possible that someone could reach the age of being married & pregnant & yet never have had a lunch alone? That's so strange to me.

Go have your lunch & enjoy the bookshopping!

FeralNun · 02/06/2024 11:10

Go for it! It’s bliss. I’m off in a min for a solo swim followed by a solo coffee. Solo holiday booked for later this year.

Don’t let some weird internal hang ups stop you doing what you actually want to do!

JamSandle · 02/06/2024 11:09

I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

saveforthat · 02/06/2024 11:09

There have been a number of these threads lately, shall I go to the theatre on my own etc. I am in my 60s and I and my friends have been dining alone when we fancied it since our 20s. I despair that young women (presumably fairly young if you are pregnant) think along these lines. Sometimes I think we are going backwards with women's independence.

JennyfromtheBlok · 02/06/2024 11:09

I can’t believe there are people out there that have to ask questions like this. Sorry if that sounds really judgmental. Just genuinely quite surprised you’d have to ask if you would look weird going out on your own.

How do you think single women cope 🙄

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 02/06/2024 11:06

I find threads like these utterly baffling. Who cares what other people think? Why would anyone even notice someone having a bit of lunch? It's just such a non problem

saveforthat · 02/06/2024 11:05

Holluschickie · 02/06/2024 11:03

@ouch321 did you miss I was being sarcastic? Clearly.

I assumed they were acknowledging your sarcasm and agreeing with you.

Holluschickie · 02/06/2024 11:03

@ouch321 did you miss I was being sarcastic? Clearly.

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 02/06/2024 11:03

Sounds like heaven to me.