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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this a bit petty at work?

59 replies

Tohellandbeyond · 02/06/2024 08:39

I work in a brilliant team of people, a few months back we merged with another team. I think management and maybe some others were hoping for us to all bond/click etc. However it just hasn't happened, not through lack of trying.

It's a very young team, I think the average age is around 24, not sure if this makes much difference? Most of them seem lovely and will chat to you, a couple of them will come to organised work events.

Understandably people already have their established friendship groups and are sometimes reluctant to add new ones, however we hot desk and people moving seats annoys me a little.

There is a woman I've been seated next to twice, I've tried to strike up conversation with her a couple of times, she was polite but clearly not interested in talking to me which is fine, she doesn't owe me anything. However on both occasions she has moved desks as soon as a seat next to one of her friends became available.
As far as I'm aware I don't smell bad or have any weird habits, I seem to get on with most people.

On Friday a second woman also moved next to her friend and they left me on a bank alone. I just think it's a bit petty, this isn't school.
I'm sure they can survive a few hours without sitting next to their best friend. Plus, management have specifically told people not to swap desks unless for good reason.

OP posts:
Tohellandbeyond · 02/06/2024 08:51

Cuppachuchu · 02/06/2024 08:48

Were the teams merged so you can cover each other's work when someone is on leave? If so, it's not going to work.

No it was just some re jigging of departments and management being changed.

OP posts:
Tohellandbeyond · 02/06/2024 08:50

MasterBeth · 02/06/2024 08:48

Wow. She hoped you had a nice weekend. What a bitch.

I just mean that she doesn't really care if I'm well or had a good weekend, she just said it because it sounded less blunt than 'Can you send me this please'

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 02/06/2024 08:49

You are taking it personally when it's not about you, or not wanting to sit near you. They just want to sit with their friend, providing it doesn't interfere with your ability to do the role I would ignore it and just crack on. I think it'll take a year for the two groups to fully merge

Cuppachuchu · 02/06/2024 08:48

Were the teams merged so you can cover each other's work when someone is on leave? If so, it's not going to work.

MasterBeth · 02/06/2024 08:48

Tohellandbeyond · 02/06/2024 08:45

Yes I can understand that, I mean in our team people are genuinely friends and they seem to be in this other team too. I just think the moving desks thing is petty but I'll just try to ignore them.

Also the other week she messaged me on Teams saying 'Hii, I hope you're ok and had a lovely weekend?'
I knew instantly she needed something so didn't fall for the BS, and then straightway of course she messaged asking me to do XYZ for her.

Wow. She hoped you had a nice weekend. What a bitch.

Tohellandbeyond · 02/06/2024 08:48

Yeah I have a colleague in my team who checks the desk rota in advance and asks people to swap so he can sit with his close friends, people need to say no to him!

OP posts:
ScarlettSunset · 02/06/2024 08:45

It does seem odd and rather rude to me.
I've had a couple of jobs where we have to hotdesk. In both jobs, you sat at the same seat all day and that was very much expected.

Tohellandbeyond · 02/06/2024 08:45

Yes I can understand that, I mean in our team people are genuinely friends and they seem to be in this other team too. I just think the moving desks thing is petty but I'll just try to ignore them.

Also the other week she messaged me on Teams saying 'Hii, I hope you're ok and had a lovely weekend?'
I knew instantly she needed something so didn't fall for the BS, and then straightway of course she messaged asking me to do XYZ for her.

OP posts:
Holidaaaaay · 02/06/2024 08:43

Why do you even care. These forced work friendships/relationships are so painful.

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