To dislike it when men post on mumsnet?

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I can't applaud you enough.

@5128gap

That's very true

This is a public forum. Anyone can post.

It's great that people feel supported and a sense of community (personally I find it more vicious than supportive but perhaps that's the AIBU type threads I tend to read). Some of the cancer threads are more caring, and the allotment thread has entertained me for weeks.

But a forum is to share views by definition so it serves its purpose whether those views are male, female, young, old, a parent or childfree, or any other category. At the end of the day, it's just a forum as is Tattle, Reddit and numerous other sites.

This is a public forum. Anyone can post. All the men I’ve ever known or been involved with, are ok people.

Others may have experienced different things.

Either way, a public forum can’t be policed.🤷‍♀️

As long as there are many, many more words in the language designed to insult women than men - and there are - I think it's clear what the overall issue is.

Some posters say women who defend men are all those things. Some posters say women who criticise men are bitter, jealous, unattractive, humourless, pearl clutching, controlling misandrists who either can't find or can't keep a man themselves, so want to spoil things for everyone else. So the judgment is far from a one way street. But as long as we know the truth about ourselves, it's water off a ducks back.

Just scrolling through and have seen "dick pandering" and "cool girl/wife" and I really hate that some women refer to other women in that way just because they happen to agree with a man or take a man's side in an argument. I'm a woman and I hate all this "menz" shit as if every man is a piece of shit and not entitled to have an opinion. I agree with a man and suddenly I'm labelled as a "not like other girls" or I'm only agreeing because I want men to like me better than the women who aren't cool lol I don't pander to any dick and whenever I see women say that I just think urgh you sound like a massive twat just trying to shut another woman up, which is ironic really isn't it considering that's what you accuse some men of doing. But ignore me because I have obviously only written this so I can get some cock 🤨

This thread has now got very tiresome - but I still love you, N225NNW! 🥰

😅😅 comedy gold "babe"

Your childish, mean-girl, stuck-record approach to anybody who disagrees with you on a discussion forum is tiresome in the extreme.

I just don’t think any of the men in my life would ever go on a website with Mums in the name, and ask questions or comment on a woman’s personal issue. For that reason, I question men who do and why they’re on here.

But what about the 95%+ of discussions on MN that have nothing to do with 'personal issues' - women's, men's, children's or people's in general?

You must know how massive a site MN is and how prominently it features in internet search results when you search for almost anything? And then, if you click into it (maybe without even seeing what the site is - much as people do within MN, when a thread appears in Active and myriad posters join in without noticing the specific context of Black MNers, MNers Without Children etc.), you enter the amazing, intriguing and all-encompassing worldwide community that is Mumsnet - and maybe never leave!

Now, this will be interesting. Because, as I mentioned earlier on here, when a man makes comments like yours, he's usually greeted by silence from the men with opposing views and the women who defend them. I've often wondered why this is, because say what you've said as a woman, and they'd be challenging you. Perhaps they will. But if as usual, they dont, I wonder if its because you're inconvenient, so best ignored, or whether they don't want to get into it with another man?

I think you're right. I'm well aware I'm no stranger to verbose pomposity at times myself, and have actually been asked on here if I was a man!

I think when men and women get pissed off online, they do generally tend towards different ways of expressing it. And I'm not saying women are always intelligent and reasonable about it, but when it comes to verbose pomposity... I do find that tends to be a man thing.

Generally, on discussion forums, people either actually address, discuss and debate against other viewpoints or, if they don't want to, they use their thumb or mouse to scroll on and ignore.

It's a very childish response to just plop with a put-down like you'd expect from kids at school, who think that saying "Yeah?! And your mum!!!!" is the best way of showing everybody how informed and wise they are.

The ironic thing is that the tone of your response reminded me exactly of one that you'd expect the specific kind of man you started the thread about (but extrapolated that to include ALL males) to come on and give: "Alright, calm down love, don't get hysterical - is it your time of the month or something?!"

I'm going to disagree here. I don't think my male "perspective" is particularly appropriate in a discussion about how bad men are or how sexist society still is on a forum predominantly geared towards woman. Where is my lived experience in this? There would maybe be some specific points I could speak to but, generally, that's the type of things I'm staying out of unless I see a DAMN clear entry point for my perspective.

A discussion doesn't have to include absolutely everyone to avoid becoming an echo chamber, women make up 50% of the population and they aren't monolithic, their views and experiences are just as varied as the general population.

I agree that there are plenty of topics that arise time and time again, but there are frequently different angles to the discussions. Plus, for all we know, they too might be started by newcomers who haven't seen the previous threads.

Regardless of whether they are newbies or old hands, or if the same comments are made every time - thinking especially about some of the 'phrases that you hate' threads - I personally have no issue with anybody wanting a respectful discussion, a good-natured moan/laugh or looking for advice, as opposed to trying to tell the people that have been here for years that they are suddenly not welcome and never have been accepted, like a school bully would.

I think you misunderstood me: I am not denying the well-documented problem with certain grim men hanging around the Sex board - although I don't frequent that board myself, as I have nothing of interest really to ask or contribute - the issue is with those men being dirty pervs and not with their being male.

Is it really logical to say that you hate Phil, Steve, Matt and James participating normally in a thread about holidays, CFs, television, school catchment areas, supermarket issues etc., just because Brian has come on wanting to get a thrill by asking women what bra size they wear or if they've had a threesome, or whatever it is that they ask on there?

By the same token, are we saying that, because Sarah comes on and starts a nasty, goady, grossly misinformed thread about 'wasters on disability benefits' or victim-blames a woman who has been the victim of domestic abuse, because 'she should have chosen a better man' or 'maybe she nags him and drives him to it', we need to hate and blame Kate, Debbie, Lisa and Helen when they want to discuss fashion, rescue pets, estate agents, DIY tips, Legoland or whatever?

@N225NNW No, just a concerned poster :) Poor lass

Right on the money. Take heed OP, for your own sake 🙄

I'm a guy and I suppose it depends on the intent behind the post. I've always been of the understanding that I'm generally welcome here but I try to "stay in my lane". There are a lot of posts on here where any perspective is helpful and gender doesn't really matter so much whereas there are posts where that's clearly not the case and I tend to avoid sticking my nose in. I'm mostly here for the skincare posts and the AIBU forum. I know Mumsnet was originally a parenting forum for women but it's gone far beyond that so it's impossible to police who should and shouldn't be here.

I don't tend to advertise my gender when I contribute to posts unless I think it's relevant like in response to a "why do men..." type of thing or something similar. Even then, it's just my own views, I'm not here to speak for men or to be offended on behalf of my entire gender if I read things like "men are all pigs" from a woman who's just had a string of abusive relationships.

What really does make my cringe is seeing posts from men that are clearly coming from a place of "my woman is being unreasonable and I want other women to validate me" with a complete lack of self-awareness.