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Original poster

To dislike it when men post on mumsnet?

406 replies

N225NNW · 02/06/2024 07:52

I find it annoying. Why can’t they use their own men’s websites? Of which there are many!

*Note I put a thread up like this last night. Then went to bed. When I woke up this morning, it had been deleted by MN. Not sure what went on there..

OP posts:
Original poster
N225NNW · 02/06/2024 09:41

ConfusedGin · 02/06/2024 09:37

Sometimes I just want women’s voices (children or no children), without men sticking their oar in.

I find this position fascinating. It's a forum, by parents for parents, and yet you'd rather have female non-parents give their advice and opinions on your parenting, than a male parent who is 100% more qualified?

Are you suggesting we restrict male access to certain topics?

If so, probably wise that us child free women are limited to other topics - perhaps, litter tray and TV which in many ways have nothing to do with the core purpose of this site (parenting) so maybe should leave with the men?

In a society, everyone's perspective is relevant and fair. Doesn't mean you have to like or agree with it. By putting your position or bias at the front, I can understand a little more why your experience may be different to mine and show a little more empathy. Doesn't mean I have to agree, take the advice or get drawn into debate, but it helps us all understand each other.

Show quote history

Eh? You quoted me and still got it wrong. I said women’s voices (children or no children).

Which means women. Women who have children and women who don’t have children. The common factor, being women’s voices. It doesn’t have to be about parenting. In fact I rarely read posts about parenting on mumsnet.

OP posts:
ASighMadeOfStone · 02/06/2024 09:39

N225NNW · 02/06/2024 09:37

Why do I need to look up ‘probably’ (written not spoken so no speech marks required)?

I NC often, to stop the one stalker originally. But now there are a few. Disconcerting.

Show quote history

I'm an English teacher with a PhD in linguistics.
I wouldn't try and take me on about SpaG as well as all the other bollocks you're spouting.

Look up "quoting".

ASighMadeOfStone · 02/06/2024 09:38

Newbutoldfather · 02/06/2024 08:50

@ilovesooty ,

To be honest, I don’t really mind who posts. I take posts on the basis of what they say, not who is saying it.

My point was that childless women saying they don’t like parents posting on a parenting site is, to put it mildly, slightly cheeky.

Have you come across many childless women telling parents not to post?

Are the parents of dead children allowed to post?

Because some of Mumsnet's most loved and well-known posters have had the temerity to have their children die.

See? You're a prime example frankly, of the kind of man that perhaps the OP has a tiny point about.

ConfusedGin · 02/06/2024 09:37

N225NNW · 02/06/2024 08:00

Yes of course, I’ll just have to put up with it. Life is tough.

However there’s a dadsnet for parents too. Why do dads not go there?

Sometimes I just want women’s voices (children or no children), without men sticking their oar in.

I’m here just so many responses, as I’m responding!!

And yes, Even more annoying when they start ‘dad here’.

Edited

Sometimes I just want women’s voices (children or no children), without men sticking their oar in.

I find this position fascinating. It's a forum, by parents for parents, and yet you'd rather have female non-parents give their advice and opinions on your parenting, than a male parent who is 100% more qualified?

Are you suggesting we restrict male access to certain topics?

If so, probably wise that us child free women are limited to other topics - perhaps, litter tray and TV which in many ways have nothing to do with the core purpose of this site (parenting) so maybe should leave with the men?

In a society, everyone's perspective is relevant and fair. Doesn't mean you have to like or agree with it. By putting your position or bias at the front, I can understand a little more why your experience may be different to mine and show a little more empathy. Doesn't mean I have to agree, take the advice or get drawn into debate, but it helps us all understand each other.

Original poster
N225NNW · 02/06/2024 09:37

ASighMadeOfStone · 02/06/2024 09:32

Comprehension issues?
Look up the word "probably".
As Soupy has asked you, how come you've namechanged for this?

Show quote history

Why do I need to look up ‘probably’ (written not spoken so no speech marks required)?

I NC often, to stop the one stalker originally. But now there are a few. Disconcerting.

OP posts:
Original poster
N225NNW · 02/06/2024 09:33

@Newbutoldfather

‘Except I never did that. The OP and many of you are, though.’

Nope. I never did that either. Read again.

OP posts:
Newbutoldfather · 02/06/2024 09:32

@NattyTurtle ,

‘It's incredibly entitled of you to think you can dictate who posts on this board tbh.’

Except I never did that. The OP and many of you are, though.

As I said above, I respond to posts based on their content, not on any other aspect of the poster (sex, age, parental status etc etc).

Original poster
N225NNW · 02/06/2024 09:32

ASighMadeOfStone · 02/06/2024 09:29

Probably the sex topic.
And is probably the kind of poster who still has the vapours and calls for PigletJohn if she needs her lav unblocking.

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What are vapours and who’s piglet John. I never go on the sex boards.. well unless a particularly popular one turns up on currently trending.

OP posts:
ASighMadeOfStone · 02/06/2024 09:32

N225NNW · 02/06/2024 09:25

What? Your brain makes some stuff up.. Information overload, confused! Comprehension limited. That’s ok.

Show quote history

Comprehension issues?
Look up the word "probably".
As Soupy has asked you, how come you've namechanged for this?

GentlemanJohnny · 02/06/2024 09:31

N225NNW · 02/06/2024 08:02

https://www.thedadsnet.com/

It's as dull as fuck over there. Same with Gransnet. The bulk of postings on this site are on MN.

Thisagainandagain · 02/06/2024 09:31

DoraSpenlow · 02/06/2024 07:58

Mumsnet. By parents for parents. Generally speaking you need a woman and a man to become a parent.

Do you. Our children are being told that men can give birth. Any alternative is labelled transphobic.

However its a parenting website.

mathsAIoptions · 02/06/2024 09:30

I'd like to think they find it helpful to get a broad range of parenting advice. However what I do agree is annoying is when they zone in on relationships board and defend whatever arseholery the poster's DH/DP is doing simply because he is a man and they cannot, simply CAN NOT view it from any other perspective. I don't think they even try half of the time.

Fine to use this as a parenting forum but we don't need to be gaslit when looking for advice.

OhHelloMiss · 02/06/2024 09:30

Or Wilf!

Littlebitofsomething · 02/06/2024 09:30

DesparatePragmatist · 02/06/2024 09:21

Hmm. I basically agree with you, OP. I've always assumed the 'by parents for parents' was MNHQ needing to avoid getting on the wrong side of equality rules, without actually changing the intention to have a predominantly women's site, so citing the tagine doesn't feel like a gotcha to me.

I do think there's a profound difference between a man coming on here to access advice on something for his family or relationship, and a man coming here as many of us do, to socialise, share experiences and be entertained. The former is reasonable and sensible, the latter comes over as creepy and intrusive. I don't know any men irl who would dream of hanging out on Mumsnet.

MNHQ have clearly said in the past that parentnet wasn't as catchy and this is the sole reason why it's mumsnet.

OhHelloMiss · 02/06/2024 09:30

Nobody moans when @pigletjohn appears in a thread....nobody

ASighMadeOfStone · 02/06/2024 09:29

OhHelloMiss · 02/06/2024 09:23

Op you keep saying 'I see that a lot' to each example given

Where? I've been here 18 years and don't see much. Where are you frequenting ?

Probably the sex topic.
And is probably the kind of poster who still has the vapours and calls for PigletJohn if she needs her lav unblocking.

NattyTurtle · 02/06/2024 09:28

Newbutoldfather · 02/06/2024 08:45

It isn’t a women’s site, it is a parents’ site-their strap line is ‘by parents for parents’. I have been on here about 14 years, since I had a child. I have learned a lot and hopefully contributed usefully to others.

It is incredibly entitled to think that you can repurpose a site, especially if you are childless. I.E not an intended user (clearly different if you are trying to conceive or otherwise in some kind of parental role).

Well, given that one of the questions when you register is whether or not you have children, or are intending to conceive, I'm sure that if MN didn't want childless people joining they would reject them at that stage. Many of the threads on here have nothing whatsoever to do with children or parenting.

It's incredibly entitled of you to think you can dictate who posts on this board tbh.

OldLondonDad · 02/06/2024 09:28

Things that I find/have found really useful about Mumsnet:

  • Info about schools/education
  • Info about neighbourhoods I considered moving to and whether they were good for families
  • Quickly check is this behaviour ok/normal/something kids will grow out of etc
  • Quickly check symptoms/health concerns for kids

None of these are specific to mums, and there is nowhere else that’s as useful that I have found.

Original poster
N225NNW · 02/06/2024 09:26

DesparatePragmatist · 02/06/2024 09:21

Hmm. I basically agree with you, OP. I've always assumed the 'by parents for parents' was MNHQ needing to avoid getting on the wrong side of equality rules, without actually changing the intention to have a predominantly women's site, so citing the tagine doesn't feel like a gotcha to me.

I do think there's a profound difference between a man coming on here to access advice on something for his family or relationship, and a man coming here as many of us do, to socialise, share experiences and be entertained. The former is reasonable and sensible, the latter comes over as creepy and intrusive. I don't know any men irl who would dream of hanging out on Mumsnet.

Agreed. Thank you.

  • In fact very few men I know post online much at all ime.
OP posts:
thisiswheretheseagullfliesaway · 02/06/2024 09:25

I've been here about 19 years on and off and there were definitely men here then. Mumsnet sounds way punchier than parentsnet so I'd suspect that's why it was chosen, easier to build a brand on a snappy memorable name. Mums may have been the target demographic but the intention I assume was for a parenting site. Wasn't it originally set up after a disastrous family holiday?

Newbutoldfather · 02/06/2024 09:25

Those who genuinely want this to be a female only ‘safe space’ (I wish Orwell were still alive….) should message Justine and ask for the site to be changed to accommodate your desires.

I can’t see it happening though as men actually are parents and an important part of a parenting site’s intended audience.

However, contacting MNHQ is the way to go if you are serious.

Original poster
N225NNW · 02/06/2024 09:25

ASighMadeOfStone · 02/06/2024 09:21

The kind of goader who doesn't want men posting is also the kind of person who doesn't want non-parents on here either.

Presumably because in their real life if they aren't talking about bubbas they're lost.

Show quote history

What? Your brain makes some stuff up.. Information overload, confused! Comprehension limited. That’s ok.

OP posts:
missmollygreen · 02/06/2024 09:24

N225NNW · 02/06/2024 08:00

Yes of course, I’ll just have to put up with it. Life is tough.

However there’s a dadsnet for parents too. Why do dads not go there?

Sometimes I just want women’s voices (children or no children), without men sticking their oar in.

I’m here just so many responses, as I’m responding!!

And yes, Even more annoying when they start ‘dad here’.

Edited

Life is indeed tough... if this is as tough as your life gets... well I don't think you have much to complain about

OhHelloMiss · 02/06/2024 09:23

TroysMammy · 02/06/2024 09:22

A male parent may want a woman's take on questions they may have. Not all children have a mother around for various reasons.

Good point!

OhHelloMiss · 02/06/2024 09:23

Op you keep saying 'I see that a lot' to each example given

Where? I've been here 18 years and don't see much. Where are you frequenting ?