To feel like my child free friends want me to dislike having a child?

I think it’s one thing to not be interested and another to be remotely rude. Take kids out of it - we all have different interests - my BiL is interested in military history, it’s not my thing personally but I show an interest. Isn’t that just what adults do if it’s someone they like, show an interest in their interest, even if it’s not something that interests them.
Only seems to be kids people are so weird about 😂

My oldest friend is very anti children (fair enough) so I’ve never taken my DD to meet ups etc, made sure to arrange childcare but when they did meet when my DD was 1 she called her “it” and looked at her with such disgust that I haven’t seen her since. Couldn’t care less if you don’t want kids/don’t like kids/don’t want to be around them but to be so bloody rude is out of order. You wouldn’t speak of an adult like that, so why is it acceptable for children 🤷🏼‍♀️

I agree. I know a handful of child free people who don’t just go about their lives but seem to be on a mission to make parents feel like shit for having children. One has a ‘cats not children’ campaign going, the others constantly say how happy they are to be child free and how we are killing the planet, spending all our time wiping arses and must be SO unhappy to have the horrors that are children. They seem to think they’re cleverer, more enlightened and sophisticated people, but it’s strange because at least one of them really wanted kids until they were too old and unable to do so.

Of course most child free people I know are NOT like this but some definitely are. I think they’re jealous, personally - they didn’t have the guts to go through with it so now need to convince themselves being a parent is awful anyway.

I have no children and have precisely zero interest in anyone else's.

However I love animals, work with them everyday and could talk to someone for hours about dog training or reactivity or a whole number of other things.

I don't think it's particularly realistic to expect a group of animal lovers who don't want children to be interested in your baby learning to walk. I genuinely wouldn't know what to say if someone told me that 😂

I had kids first put of my friends and it does put a weird dividing line between you for a while. I felt like an odd spectacle, who they were observing in confused terror while they weighed up the pros and cons lol.

None of my firmed have ever been as rude as yours though and do extend the effort to include my kids to social events, where possible (obviously not always!). They also take and interest in my kids and as they have started having kids I have too - I like my friends and I like their mini people too!

The dog shit is weird - do they realise they have essentially opted to care for an 18 month old forever? Never learn to talks and always have to pick their crap up? I don't get it

Heh. Only person I know who uses the term crotch goblin uses it exclusively to joke about her own child, usually "plague-ridden crotch-goblin" when he's caught yet another bug at daycare!

I'm way past the age when my contemporaries would be having children, but do get the endless talk about grandchildren and find it extremely boring. Yes, of course they love their children and grandchildren. No, their children and grandchildren are not fascinating to complete strangers, least of all when said parents and grandparents know those strangers don't want anything to do with children. However I would also not make demeaning remarks about them to their parents. It's just hard to summon up any interest. I'd rather the dog pictures, and I'm not a dog person. Cats for me.

That's not about hating children (a lot of people do, just as a lot of people hate dogs, and we're allowed to!) it's about being weird and rude. We all have to keep some thoughts private sometimes!!

I have a very long term friend who never wanted children, I have known here since she was about 22 and she is now 46. She is a lovely person and has a couple of nephew's who she spoils and talks about, she always bought my DS birthday gifts when he was little. She remains very happy with her choice.

I met a woman at a hiking group, similar age to my friend. Seemed to be going along well then out on a walk a very small child spoke to us. The Mum ran over and apologised but all this little girl had just said hello how are you with a very sweet smile. The woman then had a rant about how much she couldn’t stand children. People don’t need to be interested in children at all but anyone who declares they hate children is not someone I want to know.

It's maybe that sometimes. But a lot of child free people, as you can imagine, hate child stuff and it's very difficult to find a shared way forward.

I think there is an issue where people want and hope to have children but as they don't have a steady partner can be sneering or make a point of NOt wanting them. It's a bluff.
People and their blooming dogs - their lives revolve around them and are v tying if you live on your own.

My experience (topical for me as I'm staying with family this weekend) is that my adult relationships with friends and family have been spoilt when they've had kids. They change from someone I enjoy spending time with to someone who makes me sit while they're dealing with their offspring and I try to pretend not to be bored and stressed by the noise.

So.... It's probably a selfish reaction by them. You're fine - you made the right decision for you and you should feel confident in it. But you're now a lot less fun from their point of view, they've lost the old version of you and they're (ironically) having a passagg tantrum about it every now and then.

And children don't smell, and are never annoying?

I have kids and tell people ‘don’t have kids’. So not exclusive to childfree people.

Your post title suggests you want a thread to bash childfree people which is pretty crappy of you. What you describe is not my experience of life as a childless woman.
I think it's your friendship group that's a bit odd. And you even say yourself you were like them before you had children so how they are shouldn't be a surprise to you now.

My experience is opposite to what you describe - people in my life, my circle of friends, have tended to have a child and then only be interested in talking about their child, to not be at all interested in any aspect of my life that they previously shared.
I've lost count of the number of times I've been dismissed with comments such as "you wouldn't understand", "you don't know what tired is", etc.

Try to make some new friends and you'll find a different way of experiencing friendships.

UK is more animal than child friendly society.

I'm not really interested in others kids... I don't tend to talk about my kids as its boring for the listener.

I don't feel child free friend want to dislike children

Perhaps it's all the messages we get about how hard parenthood is in general they think they have to go OTT sympathising with you even though you're obviously not struggling. There are definitely some out to have a dig and let everyone know how much they hate kids as well.

It’s possible your friends will change as they get older and will start to have children. But then again maybe not. I never wanted children till I was mid to late 30’s and definitely found my friends with kids had different interests so much so that I wasn’t really interested in their kids and felt they were a bit boring and I was out all the time having a ball and lost things in common with them. But I too stopped being a party animal at some point and settled down. Both are great ways of life. It’s just your friends are at a different stage than you and you will miss out on doing what they do just because you have other commitments. They’ll miss out loving your son but if they are not at that point of wanting children themselves they’ll be ok with that. And I have a dog that I think the world of too and also spam everyone with photos of him. That’s not a child free thing.

Your language is unnecessary. People can care and not care about what they want. No one is obliged to fawn over you and your offspring. I'm surprised you need me to explain it to you.

The OPs friends never said “I don’t care about your kid god how ENTITLED” they just find dog pictures cute.

@bookreturnshereOther people definitely don’t need to care about her child, but equally, it’s horrible to call children vile names or dismiss them as unpleasant “others.”
They're just younger human beings.

I have teenagers and agree that you’ll make some parent friends when your child starts school. Also through their clubs, sports, etc. Most of my parent friends were made cheering from the sidelines at football matches or track meets!

Of course you can’t talk much about your child if people aren’t interested, but if anyone referred to children as “crotch goblins” in front of me or said that they disliked all children, I’d be inclined to give them a hard stare and say “you mean young human beings? “ or something similar. I can’t stand it when adults pretend that children are a different, inferior species to them.

Possibly in some cases, perhaps they imagine it's awful when I see it as just explaining why I can't make it to an event — perhaps to them it would be awful not to be able to go.
But often enough it's uninvited, just when I'm mentioning something child-related. The look of horror or pity seems very out of tune with what I'm saying or feeling, so must be their feelings about having children!

you really are being entitled to expect people to care about your child.