Do your parents help you out with money without you asking

...and even more millions manage without dishwashers. Paper plates because they don't like washing up, fhs!!

Accepting money as an independent adult wouldn't sit right with me - I'm perfectly capable of supporting my children and myself, thankyouverymuch

I wouldn't be so smug about it if I were you. Bad things can happen to any of us and any "independent adult" can find themselves on the bones of their arse with no money to their name and no means of supporting themselves.

My dm was always giving me money when we didn’t need it particularly. If we ever had work done on the house or dc needed school uniforms or shoes dm would always offer to pay. I would try to refuse as we didn’t need it but she would shut me down and say she was paying and that was that. My dm received no help from her dp’s which is why she overcompensated with us. I will also help my dc, to me paying for driving lessons and helping through uni to some degree is bare minimum as a parent.

How do you know your parents can afford it. Are you the keeper of their financial affairs.

I help my DD out when I can. Sometimes she asks, but that's always a loan and she always pays it back (sometimes I let her off!).
I do this because when she was growing up we were poor and there were a lot of 'extras' she couldn't have.
Now I'm a bit better off, I'm glad to make her life easier.

I do know someone who absolutely expects their parents to pay for things, despite the fact that she can afford it. She has complained to me that her friends parents bought them houses and it's unfair that her parents haven't done that. 🤯 This is a 35 year old woman, not a stroppy child.

Millions manage without a dishwasher!

OK, maybe not. Where I am from, it would seem infantilising. On reflection, parental means and the nature of the need are defining, I suppose.

Yes I would help my son out
and I do give him money
He works hard but in a fairly low paid job same as his partner they are young 30 & 25

I bought him his first car and paid for his driving lessons
I also pay for his car insurance it renews on his birthday so it’s his birthday present

My son had a big deposit via inheritance from my parents

I have given him and his partner 3k when they moved into there house to buy stuff earlier this year
and I paid for the shutters to be installed
I also paid for the upstairs carpet and stair carpet
So they have probably had around 7-8k from me since January

I have them £100 a few weeks ago when they went to a pride weekend so they could treat themselves
and my son had a £500 car bill so I gave him £300 towards it

They don't ask I offer
My son might as well have it now rather than when I am dead

No, my mum helped us out with bills a few years ago but I asked each time. She said after she’d have been afraid I thought she thought we couldn’t handle it but I’d say she was just afraid we’d always assume she’d help. It’s horrible asking but I get that life is expensive enough without her bailing us out!

Yes, my parents would help. So would DH's dad if it was essential, but I think he'd need to be asked first.

Yes, we're adults but we're not as well off as our parents and none of them would want to see us struggle unnecessarily.

As my dad says to me "it'll all be yours one day anyway".

My parents would never help me out financially, although love to tell me how much money they have.
I do help out my adult DC when I can because I know how hard life can be and it's lovely when someone offers a bit of help.

If they had the money then yes they would help. They have helped with other things in the past. Just like I would help my DC if they were struggling and I had the money.

Yes, my parents absolutely would have helped me straight away and I wouldn't have had to ask them. That was their concept of family - and we now help our own children whenever we can.
My in laws on the other hand, definitely wouldn't help voluntarily, but would help grudgingly if asked, provided that the money was for something that they considered essential. They are very wealthy indeed. I guess that's how you become / remain rich. I'd rather help my children.

my mum wouldn’t offer but if I asked for a loan she would and more than likely just give me the money
but she’s approaching mid 80’s and at a point where she feels she doesn’t need her savings ( which really upsets me as she says she only a few years left so what’s the point of savings )
a few years ago she would of given me a loan

Yes, my parents would offer to pay straightaway.

My parents are very generous, they made good financial decisions so they give a lot away to less fortunate friends/family. My whole family is like that though. If someone is struggling they are helped without needing to even ask.

Yes, my mum would offer to take care of it and we’ll arrange a repayment plan. They kindly replaced our boiler for £4K the day after we moved in here 😳😭

My parents wouldn't have helped even if I asked. But dh & 1 would help our dc.

Yes, my parents used to help me out with money. The only time I asked was when I would sometimes ask my DM for a small loan, and sometimes she told me not to pay her back.

I finf it so sad that wealthy parents don't share wealth. How odd.

No. Dad is wealthy but no.

Nope. My parents do give me birthday money each year to be fair, but they don't and have never given me money for anything. I did get some money from grandparents when they were alive. My parents are very well off, with at least five investment properties (I think, they are very private about their wealth) and they would never hand out money. I had a job when I was 13 and onwards, bought my clothes from charity shops, didn't really get haircuts until later on and supported myself once I left home and have done so ever since.

In some ways I am grateful as I have managed to support myself and am now completely independent and stable financially, but it would have been nice to have been given some support from them. It's not their way though.

The funny thing is they are still so stingy even in their late 70s/80s and all that money and property is just sitting there now and they aren't really well enough to even enjoy it.

I am the opposite with my kids (probably too much so) and I wonder where the middle ground is when it comes to supporting your kids - I possibly spend too much on them, and they certainly have no incentive to get a shitty job in a chicken shop as 13 year olds like I did.

No.

He would if we asked, but he wouldn't offer. I had to ask him to fund half my outdoor wheelchair (after I raised the other half).

He did, he could easily afford it at the time, but it just wouldn't occur to him to offer.

It is not what I'd do in his shoes, on the other hand it is his money, not mine.

We have three adult children and we have always given them money when we know they are struggling. I could never imagine standing by and not helping them. It makes us happy to be able to reduce the burden on them.

My mum was the same. When we were first married she knew we had no spare cash and every time she visited us would leave some under my pillow, stuffed in my coat pocket or other place I would find it after she had left (she knew I wouldn’t take it if offered). It made such a difference to us and we’ve never forgotten to ‘pass that on’ to our own.

You would be unreasonable to EXPECT them to help, but you would not be unreasonable to think they would WANT to help you.

I think it's everything to do with self-respect. Accepting money as an independent adult wouldn't sit right with me - I'm perfectly capable of supporting my children and myself, thankyouverymuch 😄

Nope. Even when I point blank asked for financial help I was told I was an adult and had to figure it out 🤷🏻‍♀️