Do your parents help you out with money without you asking

I'd be too embarrassed to ask my parents for money as an adult.

I've never had any money from my parents. My dad seems to be quite well off.

No. I've helped them out in the past however.

We don't usually. However DH was discussing with his parents that we needed a new boiler. His parents jumped in and said they'd offer us a loan and paid it back to whatever we could afford. We would have managed taking it out of various saving pots. However they said the money was sat there in their account and they didn't want us to use savings for it. We have a standing order paying them back every month. I would rather just give them the money back (we aren't struggling) but that's between DH and his parents.

Mine do.

They'd have likely given the deposit to go get a replacement car, straight away.

I'm always getting help like money for emergencies. They love helping out.

I love them helping out.

They can afford it, and I really appreciate it.

I plan to do the same for my dc.

I've seen all my friends have to struggle on, when they had parents that could help out, but didnt. So I do know how fortunate I am.

I'm in the same boat as you OP. Parents haven't given any support - even whilst at uni. The attitude is once you're 18 you're on your own. That's despite getting help from parents themselves. I have savings accounts for my children and hope I could help if they needed it in the future. I'll also encourage them to help their own children, should they have any, in the same way. I think people who have it easy forget how hard it is for others and fall into the trap of thinking things are easy for them be they worked hard and others need to do the same. They often forget help or privileges they have received themselves.

Have you reported them. Surely there's something the bosses can do with a cling on?

My parents would help me out if I needed it. They wouldn't necessarily give me money (nor would I expect them to) but would happily lend me some. However, if I were desperate for cash I would take out a personal loan. I wouldn't feel comfortable being indebted to family.

My parents are very fair people. I know they have lent my sister money several times over the years, which conveniently she seems to forget to repay. I only know this because they did give me money a few years ago, equal to what they had given my sister.

When our car needed repairing we had to take it off the road and wait till we could afford to pay for it. My parents had no money at all - in later years I had to give DM money. DHs parents needed their money to pay for her care. We have always been self sufficient.

I've helped my kids without being asked. Because I know they'd never ask me.

My grandmother left everything she had to a charity, because 'we'd never asked her for help so we didn't need it'.
We'd actually needed a lot of help but there's no way I'd have asked my elderly grandmother. But apparently she felt offended and 'not needed' because we didn't.

I have no idea why she needed us to ask, instead of just saying 'i hear that you're struggling, please can you let me help?' it was bizarre

Yes my parents would help me out if I needed. They could afford to, so I think that makes a big difference. They were very kind, thoughtful and generous people.

My mum couldn't afford to, she is single paying a mortgage but my grandfather is comfortably off and he would in an emergency.

I never needed to take money off my parents but I do give my children money ( In their 20's a weekly deposit in to their account to help with rent),

If I had a large unexpected bill my parents would ask if I needed the money or any help towards it. I would say no as I’m an adult who works and saves for unexpected bills. However as a younger adult in my twenties after buying first property etc they did offer and I did accept financial help.
But in my family me and my brother also check if the other is ok for large unexpected bills. My brother got ill on holiday recently, bill was £1700, I offered to put in on my credit card until the insurance was sorted, he declined and used his own.

My mum didn't have much, but was okay. She would have given the shirt off her back to make sure us kids were okay. We grew up poor, so it gave her immense pleasure to be able to help us out. I'm not talking house deposits or anything of that ilk, just a week's shopping for example.

I'll help mine where I can. Small amounts, yes, but bunging my daughter £20 this weekend has meant she can afford to go out with her friends whilst she's visiting me. I also pay for her cat's food.

I don't understand why you wouldn't help out your kids if you're able to.

My dad gives me money all the time! He'll just drop £50 into my account and say 'get yourself a treat' or something like that. He is not well off at all but the couple of occasions he's come into some larger sums of money, his first thought is to take some for himself and split the rest between us siblings - no amount of protesting will stop him because he takes great joy from giving. He will often say, 'don't deprive me of the joy of blessing my kids'. We're all in our 40s and have decent salaries.

To be fair though, sooner or later the money always ends up back with him. I'll 'buy myself a treat' but I usually pick him up a new shirt or something he needs in the house, so it's basically the same money just changing hands. I do lots for him, all his shopping, house admin and medical appointments so I think this is his way of saying thank you.

Generosity is something that's always run through our family and if it was in our means to help another member of the family, we absolutely would and wouldn't need to be asked. I can't imagine knowing that my dad or one of my siblings was struggling and not helping.

For some people, they think money gives them security and they hang on to it very tightly. Yes, be sensible but ultimately you could die today or lose it all so if it's within your means, why not help someone else?

No never not since I've worked in a proper job, as in not cash in hand type jobs whilst at uni etc

Oh, and I'm approaching forty, DH is forty and both sets of parents are much, much better off than us.

Agree @imnotthatkindofmum - they came of age in a totally different housing market for a start and then many started buying investment properties thanks to generous tax incentives which pushed prices up further. Now they are still living in their huge houses because they didn't get around to downsizing when they were still capable. I can see why they want to stay where they are in a much-loved home, but it does make it harder for families who would actually use all those bedrooms and the local schools. I don't think anyone is entitled to their family's money but when my kids are older I will try to help them with houses and other things as much as I can because there's no point hoarding money - you can't take it with you.

It's actually incredibly common for people to have less than their parents nowadays.

My parents' house tripled in value (and then some) while they owned it, despite doing no work at all. They managed to sell it for nearly half a million and bought a new place outright in their fifties.

They don't have a mortgage, they stopped work at 60, have no financial commitments and own brand new cars.

DH and I work full time, have a run down terrace because that's all we could afford, we have no spare cash as the house always needs something doing to it. We have 2nd/3rd hand bangers we run into the ground as it's what we can afford.

We're not even poor, life is just bloody expensive!

Oh and I'm 46, not in my 20s

It's a fact for many "middle class" (I realise that's outdated but just to show what I mean) and middle aged people that their boomer parents have way more money than them!

My dad was a fireman, my mum never really worked. They have no mortgage on a £500000+ house and lots of savings.

FIL was an nhs dentist, MIL a hygienist but didn't always work. They have no mortgage on a £million house and have told us they have over £100000 in their regular bank accounts.

Dh and I earn £100000 between us when both working but we can't afford to live in our house now Dh is out of work (hopefully short term). We looked at downsizing but our mortgage would go up (currently fixed) and renting even a smaller house with shared bedrooms for kids would cost the same as our mortgage.

My point being that lots of people are worse off than their parents!

Not generally, no.
Maybe your parents don't like your financial choices. Like paying to rent a car, which is dead money. It'd be cheaper to pay credit card interest on the repair bill than paying exorbitant rental fees.

I wouldn't be so smug about it if I were you. Bad things can happen to any of us and any "independent adult" can find themselves on the bones of their arse with no money to their name and no means of supporting themselves.

There's a hell of a lot you can do to prevent it though.

Whats worrying on this thread is the number of people who seemingly have less money as working adults, than their pensioner parents do. I wonder if lots of those posters are quite young, still in 20s.

Part of why i wouldn't take from my parents is (as is typical imo) as I'm hitting 40, i've got more than them. I'd expect to treat/help them, not the other way round.

They'd give me their last penny and I wouldn't need to ask.

I know that MIL gives my DH "petrol money" when we visit her, it makes her happy and she'd be offended if he didn't accept it. In return he does her DIY, drives her anywhere she needs to go, we take her for days out and holidays etc.