If one spouse wants to rehome a dog, and the other doesn't, who should get their way?

If the dogs needs are being met by the other person then the no-dog side needs to suck it up.

If the dogs needs are not being met, or you can't compromise to meet the dogs needs, then the dog needs to go to a home that can meet its needs.

What is means for the relationship and not being able to come to a compromise is too complex for a MN thread! We don't know your life setup, personalities, relationship dynamic - but regardless of this at least one of you, most likely both, has let the poor dog down.

Some additional information please @AnonAnonEmouse - How long have you had the dog? How old is the dog? Is it a rescue? Is it the only pet in the household?

The spouse who wants to keep the dog feels it is part of the family.

Is that spouse willing and able to do most of the care and training?

That’s how I feel, @Reugny . If I became too unwell to look after my dog, for example, I’d rather that he went to live with someone who could give him what he needs.

Of course, if I could find a solution like paying a dog walker, I’d do that.

Sorry what - your marriage is damaged because of a dog? I'm just gonna go out on a limb and assume it was damaged before, because that's an insane reason to make that comment.

The first few weeks/months with a puppy are an actual nightmare - can't talk for older dogs as only ever had puppies but if you rehomed a vulnerable animal then a) you should have done your research and b) it'll need some settling in time.

Personally - whoever wanted the dog to go, would be going. Dogs are a member of your family, and I wouldn't be having a family/being in a family with anyone who could disregard any one of them, including the animal members, because it's inconvenient.

@Graciiee
@JustTalkToThem and @GCAcademic yes sorry, I knew someone would have said it.

It's not the same comparison.

That being said I would say, like the situation where the baby arrives and one was not in agreement, based on the info given, the relationship is over. One takes the dog.

Is the dog a rescue? Or did you buy the dog as a puppy? How long have you had it?

We adopted our dog when her previous owners realised they didn't have the time for her.

She was two when she came to us and we devoted our lives to her for 11 years until she died in August. When we first got her she was untrained and afraid of everything - we trained her so she could walk off lead with safety and knew lots of little tricks, we slowly built her confidence so that very soon she was the most wonderfully happy little soul willing to give anything a try. She came on holiday with us, walked in the hills and on the beach every day and if she couldn't come somewhere with us - well we didn't go.

That's what dogs need. Love, time, prioritisation.
My only regret about her was that we didn't have her sooner because I think her life before us wasn't too good really.

Either let him/her go OP or revise your priorities so that you meet your dog's needs.

It isn't fair on the dog to be on a household where they don't get what they need if there is a better alternative.

I knew two people well who rehomed their dogs, one of the dogs I actually lived with. They were able to find people who could take better care of their dogs than they could.

My DP has cats that have been rehomed to us. The owners wanted someone who could care for their cats better than they could.

IMO no dog should be rehomed unless someone dies or a very few other genuine reasons. You take on a pet, you’re responsible for it. They’re totally reliant on us.

The only reason my dog would be rehomed is if I died.

Going back to read now so this has likely been said.

DO NOT compare the possibility of another child to the conscious purchase of an animal.

The comparison would be the giving away of the child, if one such comparison were to be made, following the arrival of same.

My dog is 6 and I would get divorced if my dh wanted to rehome him

I agree, @Churchview , they should do what’s best for the dog.

People like you make me sick. You take on an animal, knowing that they should be with you for the next 12 years, and because you haven’t bothered to train it, work on it’s separation anxiety, or bothered to research how much time and effort they take, you are just going to rehome.

Because, of course, they are disposable.

I'd be re homing my partner before rehoming my dog 🐶

YANBU - the dog should stay

I did wonder if the OP wanted to rehome but then the voting goes against this ?

Given that you are both adults and the dog is entirely dependent on your care, surely you should both put your differences/preferences aside and do what is the right thing for the dog.

If you don't have the time to meet the dog's basic needs e.g. training, then it's not fair to keep the dog. If you don't train him/her you are storing up much worse problems for the future and it would be best to give the dog the chance of a good life elsewhere.

My XH wanted to get rid of the dog because he was bored of her. She was seven at the time and no behaviour issues or anything like that. I got rid of him. Although, it was symptomatic of other issues in the marriage.

@FlyingPandas has a good point. If one person particularly wanted the dog, but now expects the other one to do most of the care, that’s unfair.

I accept that I’m the main caregiver for our dog, even though my teenagers said that they’d help with walks, etc. They don’t, of course.

It's not funny. Or a casual 'lol let's ask if we should get rid of the dog'.

Does the person who wants to keep the dog do the majority of the care?

It clearly reads as it being OP who wants rid of the dog. Sadly this is the type of thing you should really have thought through. But if you genuinely can't give the dog what it needs then rehome it to someone who would love and appreciate it.

Depends entirely on the circumstances. If it’s a question of re homing because of aggression rather than just an inconvenience issue. I’d divorce DH if he wanted to re home the dog though 🤣