If one spouse wants to rehome a dog, and the other doesn't, who should get their way?

It would to my marriage and a lot of other posters here. People are different.

There’s no way I would rehome a dog for the reasons you have given, which are all just everyday dog owner responsibilities. I would be considering getting rid of a spouse who has seemingly no idea of their responsibilities.

Ultimately the dog must go where he or she is loved and wanted by everyone. The dog comes first here.

what is the best thing for the Dog?

It's very hard to give any sort of reasoned response when no information is provided.

try a different behaviourist?
sounds like the behaviourist has made suggestions that you cannot commit to?

TBH it completely depends on what behavioural issues the dog has.

If it's a bit of separation anxiety or nervousness or it submissively urinates, they can be fixed fairly easily by a owner who knows what they are doing and is willing to put the time in.

Reactivity or aggressiveness or severe separation anxiety (to the point the can't even be left in a room alone and makes itself sick) are very hard to fix, even for very experienced owners.

But, I think regardless of what happens the owners should never get another dog and their marriage/relationship is probably over. One is a responsible pet owner and one isn't - they are just too different tbh. People who take their responsibilities and commitments seriously never last in a relationship with lazy people who just fob off their 'problems' (in this case the dog) on other people.

if the family can't properly care for a pet, then the pet needs to be rehomed.

For me it would depend on what’s best for the dog. If your lifestyle means the dog is left for long periods for example or if it’s a working dog and you don’t have the time/land to exercise it enough then a more suitable home needs to be found I’d say.

We once got a puppy and we both worked and puppy was lonely and miserable. We knew that we had made a dreadful mistake. I knew his best chance of being rehomed was when he was still a cute young puppy. I contacted the breeder and explained I didn't want my money back but could she rehome the dog with a family. Luckily my mother, who was retired with other dogs, volunteered to take him and he had a great life with her.

I am rather aghast that you have waited till he's 11 months old and you are now trying to rehome a nearly grown animal with behavioral problems. On the other hand, you sound hopeless owners so the dog might be better off being rehomed. I find the pair of you despicable and immature. This is not about some absurd analogy about children but about what is best for this poor dog.

And what about the kids you had? Happy to give up a loving family for them and force them into a broken home over a bloody dog?

This is so very sad and absolutely awful.

There is no way I’d give up my pet that I promised to care for.

Give up the spouse that wants to rehome the dog would be my answer!

It’s obvious you want to keep the dog, OP, but you need to get rid of it.

Your family is more important (and no, the animal is not part of your family).

Your kids deserve to have a proper family, not divorced parents and a broken home because their grown ups prioritised a dog.

@AnonAnonEmouse In this situation, if the dog is ruining one person's life, I'd rehome. Regardless of the ethics of the situation, everybody should feel comfortable with their home life. The person losing the dog who doesn't want it to go I think will feel less discomfort in the long run than the person who's wanting the dog to go.

100% relationship over dog in this situation

It depends on who is more bothered about the outcome.

@Foxyaus but if you read the OP's posts, that's already been suggested.
However, it means the other person will naturally have to take on more of the other jobs (as their partner will be out or busy with the puppy) which they're not happy about.

This is so dramatic! There are lots of people looking to re-home dogs, it's not ideal, no, but dogs adapt.

If they have kids, you seriously think the family should split and the kids have to bounce between homes and all that does with that, for the sake of rehoming a dog? Only on Mumsnet.

OP - having a dog is a huge commitment and you can't always appreciate that if you haven't had one before or having grown up with them etc. Yes, you should both have thought about this beforehand but it doesn't always work like that. As long as your dog isn't on the dangerous dog list and is of nice tempament, I'm sure it'll find a new home quite easily.

Frankly, the principle that should operate here is that you do what is best for the dog. That may or may not be rehoming in a responsible way. But please look at it like that, instead of who gets their way because they want something.

What has changed in circumstances?

Your dog is part of the family. Both partners made a commitment knowing life could change, you could lose jobs, get sick and other changes in circumstances.

You’re dog part of your family now, you both have responsibility towards it and you need to make it work. To give it up because it’s a bit of extra work or inconvenience is wrong.

Poor dog.

(And also it’s nothing like the child scenario outlined in OP, because you already have the dog now - it’s not like deciding to have a child that doesn’t exist yet)

Both have valid points a dog is enormously restrictive it’s n ok t really something that can be compromised on
even if one offers to do everything the other person is still restricted I can’t see how they wouldn’t resent it

puppy stage is a nightmare it’s early days I think give it 6 months of training then review if it hasn’t improved re home it