To be furious at husband for secretly vaping while Ttc

I got pregnant during a holiday where I smoked my head off and drank buckets and buckets of alcohol over the course of two weeks.

I mean...chemical laden semen. You're being a bit dramatic don't you think? He is still a sentient human with the ability to make his own choices regarding his own habits and health.

Honestly I'd tell you to fuck back right off.

@DotDotDashDot24 That is an American article. Not British. There are no restrictions on safety and monitoring over there. There is in the U.K.

That doesn't mean vaping is 100% safe. However, in the u.k, it is far safer.

NICE guidelines (NHS) advocate vaping over smoking. They also say whilst it's preferable that a person wanting to conceive not to smoke or vape the vape is the safer choice.

The company I used is totally wicked the founding fathers of vape in the U.K. they have a full non toxin report on their website.

Also, the local totally wicked here is commissioned by the local NHS stop smoking clinic.

Whilst giving up vape is ideal, it is 95% safe, leaving 5% for any unknown long-term risks

Gently a bit YABU for your post being so over the top BUT TTC for a YEAR messes with your head. And you're right, you're the one carrying the burden and he doesn't get it. If he's the one pushing for a baby and he can't even give up smoking for it, maybe he's not ready for it and doesn't really appreciate what a baby involves.

Take a break. Re-assess your relationship and your plans. Maybe another baby is not on the cards and you need to discuss that because it's not fair on you to keep TTC for his sake.

Well, if this is real, then he now knows he should run like the wind. If he chooses to stay and try to procreate with you, he knows what he is getting into and he shouldn't whine about it later.

Well his dodgy vape sperm is your perfect excuse then

How old are you? If it's over a year you're probably up for being able to speak to a dr about it.

Does he definitely want a baby as much as you?

I can imagine TTC from his end is stressful after a year (I know I found it hard!) and perhaps occasionally vaping is helping relieve that. Stress isn't conducive to TTC either!

I do think "chemical laden semen" is a slightly dramatic way of talking about it OP, but I did enjoy the phrasing 😂

He used to be a smoker but quit last year when we decided we wanted a baby

We or you?

Dear God, people never cease to surprise me with the twaddle they come up with these days 🤦‍♀️

Quite! 😂

This, along with alcohol it's an absolute mystery how the human race has survived. YABVU

Apparently nicotine gum only has the nicotine, not the chemicals and is therefore considered ok.

Ofcourse she can judge what her husband does. She can judge what anybody does.

And there were some disastrous implications.

*And was previously when he smoked.

Lack of consent for "chemical laden semen" is a weird flex.*

The flex is that she wasn't TTC with him then.

She's also now probably wondering if the miscarriage she suffered (and let's face it, she suffered it, not so much him) could have been in any way affected by the vaping; which kept from her. Maybe not, but from the link above, nhs trusts are clearly asking couples ttc and having fertility treatment not to vape.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/nearly-2000-chemicals-some-potentially-harmfulfound-in-vaping-aerosols-180978872/

Everyone's acting like the op is cray, but is she?

You don't agree to give you smoking to tttc and then vape, which has lots of potential issues that are being highlighted and haven't been investigated or studied yet; and lie about it to the person you're TTC with.

Ateotd issues with pregnancy and with babies once they arrive; tend to fall on the shoulders of the Mum more than the Dad.

And was previously when he smoked.

Lack of consent for "chemical laden semen" is a weird flex.

IDK why OP didn't just stick to irritation that he has compromised his speak quality.

Stop being so dramatic OP. Chemical laden semen for god's sake. He's taking a sneeky puff now and then, not mainlining heroin. Out of interest, does he actually want to have a baby?

I feel violated as I didn't consent to having chemical-laden semen in my body while TTC. I've told him im not having sex with him anymore.
That's enough internet for today, jesus bloody wept.

There are issues around a. Having an addictive personality, and b. Being dishonest/sneaky, here.

Neither of them are fantastic traits for having babies with someone.

It sounds like you're under P to conceive because he has no kids of his own. Might it be a better fit to meet a man who's already got his own kids, like you (?)

How old are you, do you really want to go through the baby etc stage again now?

How old are your kids?

Do they already have half siblings through their Dad?

How long have you been married and how long before that have your kids known him? It's not often in the best interests of kids to have new half siblings ..... I'll be flamed but ..

Decades ago, people were bashing out kids willy-nilly.

Most people smoked years ago.🙄

Chemical-laden semen? 🤔
Oh well, problem solved if you're not having sex anymore.