To be furious at husband for secretly vaping while Ttc

I can't fucking stand vaping - especially the smell of it and I'm regularly accused of being a bit ott about it by my vaping dh.

Your post however makes me look positively chilled out about it - although I do agree with a previous poster that said ttc fucks with your head. It really does; so I'll just send a bit of solidarity from a fellow vape hater!

It’s the nicotine that may hinder sperm, so switching to patches won’t help.

Stress can be a major factor in unsuccessful conception. I think it would be best to put things on hold for a while, it doesn’t sound like you are both on the same page, and if you’re not that bothered about a baby, it doesn’t seem fair to the potential baby, especially if the father is stressed and the parents aren’t on the same page about something so fundamental.

Can I ask?
If you conceive despite his laden semen....will you continue the pregnancy with a chemically laden foetus?
Of course you would, good lord, this post has me in despair, are we really that snowflakey now?
Give him a break OP, desperately OTT

Why is that any of your business? 🙄

Honestly op, you are a bit of a mismatch.

Also do you really think it's best for your two kids?

You might be better with a man who already has kids.

And for some who wants ot more than you, vaping and hiding it is not very .... Responsible or sincere.

Really ?

Why are you trying to get pregnant if you don't really want another child .

TTC is tough, especially after a miscarriage I'm sorry.l 🤍

Personally, I'm qn ex smoker and don't think its a big deal BUT if you spoke about it and he went back on his word I would be very upset.

Also, I have to ask - whats post-partum panic with cats? I've never heard that before!

Survival is a different subject from this one, I think.

@mmmkayyyy

Ah that would make more sense now.

Have you spoken to him about it since you found the vapes?

Sadly you can't force someone to stop
Doing something even if it does go against every belief you have as their partner.

Maybe suggest you stop ttc for a while and explain it's because you don't feel he's fully on board with it

It's really tough TTC for over a year. The OP may be overreacting a tad but it's very understandable. People on this thread could be a bit kinder.

Op there are chemicals in meat,veg,fruit,and all processed foods/drinks.

There are also chemicals in deodorant skin care etc etc so unless you use absolutely everything organic and chemical free and don't breathe in chemicals in any way then I think your over reacting here.

I can understand you being upset he's been keeping it from you and that's not right on his part but he obviously feels he can't tell
You as your being cross with him will make him turn to vapes as well as other stresses.

And before anyone says it no I'm not victim blaming I'm suggesting that unless you've been addicted to cigarettes or vapes it's hard to see how hard it is to stop especially if that's his vice when he's stressed

I lived my life normally while ttc which included smoking, drinking and nights out. All stopped once I was pregnant obviously. I think your reaction is a bit ott to be honest.

Christ almighty, just when you think you've read it all.....
Whatever you do OP, don't go outside and breathe in any car fumes will you, he won't want to put his dick in your chemical laden vagina!

It isn't much of a brag.

I haven't TTC for decades, but a quick google does say there might be issues with nicotine and sperm quality, mobility so switching to gum won't help if it concerns you.

Thankfully we didn't know that when dh was smoking all through us TTC (he quit after ds was born 20 years ago)

Haha amazing.

@Coldsore it's a fact. Had been back a week when I started to feel sick...

Unless you think everyone who is TTC stays entirely sober. In which case you'd be very very naive.

OP YANBU and yet again I query why I bother with this website (hard to break the habit)

it’s pretty basic that when you’re TTC you are trying to be your healthiest. You take vitamins, your partner takes vitamins, you usually cut down on alcohol/caffeine/cigarettes or give them up altogether. Why? Because yes, your eggs and sperm will be healthier, higher quality and less likely to fail.

after such a long time TTC and with a miscarriage under your belt, of course you feel betrayed. You are probably giving up a lot to be your healthiest self and it must feel like he’s selfishly sabotaging that.

i had a family member whose husband’s sperm was the issue and refused to stop drinking. I personally would have given up TTc as he clearly wasn’t committed about it and I would give you the same advice here.

@Coldsore I don't think it's bragging, it's making the (correct) point that many people have unhealthy lifestyle habits and still manage to conceive perfectly healthy babies. That's not to say you shouldn't modify your behaviour when you know you're pregnant of course.

I wouldn’t be bragging about this