Instrumental teacher refusing to teach my child

' I thought it was also beneficial to the teacher as she would have had extra money in her account.'

how fucking patronising !

how much is a shared lesson at school ?
seeing as how private ones are 3 x times the price

£10 ? £20 ? £50 ?

Your second email was totally unnecessary and a trifle rude. Personally I don't blame her in the slightest.

If I were the teacher, I’d take back the violin on Tuesday and leave the refund in an envelope at reception. Then I’d block you OP and consider that our tuition arrangement was at an end.

If she gives your child his lesson, I hope she takes the violin afterwards and blocks you anyway.

OP you really do come across as very unpleasant. I think the teacher is lucky you showed your nastiness early on. Sounds like she has had a lucky escape.

A second vote for inclusion in the classics, a great example of "don't back down, double down"

Apologising is your only chance (a vanishingly slim chance, at that) of getting this teacher to carry on teaching your child, @MairSS.

“Dear Violin teacher,

I apologise wholeheartedly for my rudeness in my previous messages. Thank you for agreeing to give my son his lesson on Tuesday - I appreciate it. Please will you reconsider your decision to refuse to teach him going forward.

Many thanks,
@MairSS.”

Even with a fulsome apology like this, I don’t like your chances, but if you don’t apologise properly, I am 100% sure your son will get no more lessons from this teacher.

This is nothing like the thread from last year, where if I remember correctly the mum had simply asked a few probing questions about DBS and safeguarding etc and the teacher became prickly. It was all sorted out via an accidental meeting in Boots, I think. The mum apologised profusely and the teacher acknowledged that she had actually been quite reasonable to ask the questions. Hopefully the DC is having violin lessons with her to this day!

The only way that you can sort this out is to go to the school on Tuesday, wait until she arrives (which might not be the start of the school day) and apologise profusely to her, face-to-face. Ideally taking some kind of thoughtful gift too. Acknowledge your overreaction and that your follow up message was completely unnecessary.

Top tip: always remember who holds the power in any financial arrangement. If the streets in your local area are roamed by gangs of unemployed violin teachers, setting up music stands by the roadside and busking for work, then you might be able to compel her to continue, but I suspect that's not the case.
Treat her as respectfully as any other professional (architect, surgeon, solicitor) whom you might engage to work on your home, your health or your personal affairs.

You need to eat very humble pie here if you want the lessons to continue.

Why would you set your child up for humiliation like that? What's wrong with you?

Too early to nominate this for classics for the sheer level of entitlement of the OP and their lack of self awareness?

This teacher is brilliant. She’s certainly taught you a valuable lesson!

Op you are the perfection definition of a 'piece of work'!

I pity your child who sadly will be influenced by your appalling lack of manners, lack of grace, humility and charm and your nasty, bad attitude.

Think of the atrocious example you are setting for your child by a behaving so crassly.

Wow! What an asshole (you, OP, not the teacher). Bet she’ll be pouring a large gin on Tuesday night and toasting having seen the back of you.

@MairSS

Good God, are you for real?

She made a simple mistake, immediately apologised & rectified. She's a human being!

You were unecessarily rude & confrontational towards her & then outraged when she called you on it. Do you really expect the Headteacher to get involved? They'll have a million other things to be concerned about & will not give 2 shiny shits about your non existent beef with a freelance teacher!!

The lesson your child will have on Tuesday will be more navigating the aftermath of your behaviour. Your persistent attitude will inevitably be a topic of the staff room and these people have to interact with your child (hopefully they’ll be decent towards him and not take out their response to you on him).

Please reflect on the replies here and try learn some humility for your son’s sake. No one wants to be “that mum” that everyone just rolls their eyes at as they steamroll their child’s life and relationships.

I predict your kid is coming home Tuesday without a violin and probably in tears since you've set him up to have a horrible experience.

You're rude, and probably condescending and unpleasant and I can absolutely see why she does not want to work for you any further.

So regardless of what you want or would prefer or what is convenient, she is under no obligation to teach your child. Not even if you stamp your foot!

Also, to refuse to return the violin when requested would constitute theft.

I’m reminded of the renowned piano teacher and founder of the Leeds Piano Competition, Fanny Waterman. When people asked her how she picked her pupils she said she didn’t - she picked the parents!

If this had been the other way round and the violin teacher had picked YOU up on making an error, how would you have felt?

Oh, let me guess, YOU would never make an error, would you?

Your poor child.

So you purposely paid incorrectly and them were snotty with her for not noticing? You do understand that that is even worse, right? I wouldn't deal with you either if I was her.

So you deliberately paid over what she was expecting to make your life easier? You clearly didn't think about any impact on her life or accounting though did you? The easiest and clearest way is to pay the correct invoice with the correct amount at the correct time which you did not do. I'd not be wanting anything more to do with an inconsiderate and rude customer either.

I’m imagining the amount of cringing the OP’s son is going to have to do throughout his school life as his mother throws her weight around at all and sundry.

OP, what are you going to do when your son returns on Tuesday without the violin?

Well in that case you need to sort out YOUR attitude.

Music teachers are not slaves. You don’t get to click your fingers and demand things because you’ve paid for them.

Your child is missing out because you behaved like an arse.

There you go again. You come across as extremely rude.

So you deliberately overpaid without asking or telling her and then blamed her for not noticing? Then you rudely told her off after she apologised ?

you need to apologise for your rudeness or it’s your child who will lose out.