Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Instrumental teacher refusing to teach my child

362 replies

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:30

I just cannot believe the email I’ve just received from my child’s instrumental teacher!
DS has been receiving instrumental lessons at school for a couple of terms. The music teacher is freelance and therefore parents pay fees directly to her.
We pay up front each half term. She invoices us. I had overpaid by one lesson last time, and she had not realised this. I therefore sent her a message telling her to check her account. She immediately did and apologised saying she had not realised and adjusted the invoice accordingly. I wrote another message saying that in fact I always pay on time and didn’t appreciate getting messages saying I hadn’t paid when I had.
She then said on reflection it may be better if I found an alternative teacher as she doesn’t tolerate rudeness and reattached her terms and conditions!
surely she can’t do this? How unprofessional! I’ll be making an appointment to see the headteacher on Monday!

OP posts:
peachyqueens · 02/06/2024 20:06

MairSS · 01/06/2024 15:25

I haven’t apologised no, I had paid for an additional lesson to make my bill reduced for this block of lessons after half term. I thought it was also beneficial to the teacher as she would have had extra money in her account. I assume that people regularly check their bank account and can see what money is going in and out!

So it's actually your fault that you overpaid?! For your convenience?!

Your attitude is appalling. I feel sorry for your son.

Glittertwins · 02/06/2024 20:04

All that rudeness over £7????

Tandora · 02/06/2024 20:02

PossumintheHouse · 02/06/2024 16:15

Your behaviour aside, is £7 for 20 minutes with multiple other beginner violinists really good value for money? Your son is going to sound like a strangled parrot for a decade at this rate. Surely you want better for little Tarquin?

Show quote history

Hahaha.

i thought the same. 7£ for a group lesson for just 20 mins sounds like a crap deal . What can you do in 20 mins? Especially with several other children in the class

SofaSpuds · 02/06/2024 19:50

EffortlesslyInelegant · 02/06/2024 18:56

329 posts for a bloody reverse? Am I wrong in thinking MN had a policy about this sort of thing?

They do when it suits them 🙄

Pillowface1 · 02/06/2024 19:47

HollyKnight · 02/06/2024 19:42

Some people seem to think that paying for something gives them power over the provider. It's bizarre.

People who offer a professional service can refuse to allow you access to that service. She isn't an employee of the school. She isn't obligated to teach your child.

I have finally finished with piano lessons ....16 years...for my children. £25 for 30 minutes....and lucky to have had the fantastic teachers we had.
Beyond joyous to finally be done with them.

HollyKnight · 02/06/2024 19:42

Some people seem to think that paying for something gives them power over the provider. It's bizarre.

People who offer a professional service can refuse to allow you access to that service. She isn't an employee of the school. She isn't obligated to teach your child.

DerekFaker · 02/06/2024 18:57

Balloonhearts · 02/06/2024 18:52

And who would notice an extra £7?

Good point

EffortlesslyInelegant · 02/06/2024 18:56

329 posts for a bloody reverse? Am I wrong in thinking MN had a policy about this sort of thing?

Balloonhearts · 02/06/2024 18:52

And who would notice an extra £7?

KnitnNatterAuntie · 02/06/2024 18:49

HuongVuong3 · 02/06/2024 18:48

I hope not. Reverses feel manipulative and devious somehow.

Totally agree with this

HuongVuong3 · 02/06/2024 18:48

I hope not. Reverses feel manipulative and devious somehow.

DerekFaker · 02/06/2024 18:38

Did you let her know that you would be overpaying at the time? Otherwise she will probably have been expecting the usual payments at the usual times.

SofaSpuds · 02/06/2024 18:35

cansu · 02/06/2024 18:25

MairSS - on another thread you describe yourself as a music teacher working with small groups in schools. So I am assuming this is a reverse??

Interesting... 🤔
Thanks @cansu

Hollowvoice · 02/06/2024 18:33

MairSS · 01/06/2024 15:25

I haven’t apologised no, I had paid for an additional lesson to make my bill reduced for this block of lessons after half term. I thought it was also beneficial to the teacher as she would have had extra money in her account. I assume that people regularly check their bank account and can see what money is going in and out!

So you deliberately paid an amount which didn't match your invoice? Then you expected the teacher to go to the additional effort of manually adjusting your next invoice to account for something done for your own convenience.
This sort of behaviour is one of the most frustrating parts of my job!

cansu · 02/06/2024 18:25

MairSS - on another thread you describe yourself as a music teacher working with small groups in schools. So I am assuming this is a reverse??

Infinity234 · 02/06/2024 18:22

Wow, you are awful 🫣

CecilyP · 02/06/2024 18:12

Surely, she can! She’s a small business who simply didn’t notice your payment in her bank statement. Just a simple mistake; perhaps she’s better at music than admin. Anyway, you’ve offended her so that’s that!

leopardski · 02/06/2024 18:07

My DH is a personal trainer and has cut contracts with people before for being extremely rude. They are providing a service and quite simply don’t have to put up with it if they don’t want to. ‘Fight’ it all you want but I get the feeling you’ve shot yourself in the foot here and will find yourself hobbling away.

WiddlinDiddlin · 02/06/2024 18:03

I'm still confused here..

You were originally pissy because she sent an invoice reminder, for the term you haven't yet paid for, that is due at the start of term..

You have only paid for 1 lesson of that term, not the full term and you did that as an overpayment of the previous invoice.

So you have not paid this terms invoice. Were you planning on paying that late because you'd pre-paid the first lesson (without discussion or agreement from the teacher it seems, or surely you'd have said so earlier in the thread).

You do realise she almost certainly uses some invoicing system that simply sends out reminders automatically to those who haven't paid the current invoice. It won't be able to recognise that you over paid previously and are still technically 'in credit'...

I cannot believe you're being this shitty, and seriously thought that overpaying £7 without prior agreement, was any sort of benefit to the teacher!

Beezknees · 02/06/2024 17:59

Good for her.

You were rude, she doesn’t want your business any more. It's your own fault that you've ruined it for your child. Maybe reflect on how you talk to people in future.

T1Dmama · 02/06/2024 17:59

In your shoes I’d email her and apologise, just simply say
‘sorry if I came over rude, my son enjoys his lessons with you and has had no part in this, could you please reconsider teaching him because I don’t want him to miss out because I was having a bad day!’

SapphireSlippers · 02/06/2024 17:54

MairSS · 02/06/2024 16:09

I’m paying £7 per group lesson (20 minutes) and going rate for 1-1 private lessons in my area is £16 (30 minutes) so you can see why I want to keep lessons in school!

Show quote history

Maybe you shouldn't have been so rude to her?

BabySnarkDoDoo · 02/06/2024 17:52

What do you expect the headteacher to do? It's not like they can force the teacher to keep giving your son lessons if she's decided she doesn't want to because of your rude behaviour. One of the perks of being freelance/ self employed is you can choose to bin off rude customers, as there's still enough nice people out there to make a living.

I'm sure the teacher wasn't trying to scam you out of 7 quid, so I'm not sure why you felt the need to e-mail her a second time after she'd apologised for making a mistake. If you've never made an error at work then good on you, but most humans do get things wrong from time to time.

T1Dmama · 02/06/2024 17:49

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:37

Whether I came across as rude or not, it’s totally unacceptable, it’s my child that’s missing out. I pay for lessons and I expect them to be delivered!

Wow you seem very entitled!

Balloonhearts · 02/06/2024 17:47

She's freelance. She gets to choose her clients. Nothing school can do about it.

You were shockingly rude to her because she didn't notice a mistake that YOU made. You refuse to apologise to her fir your rudeness so she is quite rightly dropping you.

She doesn't have to actually refund you, as long as she can evidence that she has offered you one and you didn't accept. It doesn't mean she is obliged to teach your son.

You were rude and unprofessional and now your son will pay the price. It doesn't matter if it isn't fair on him, prioritising him is your job, not hers.

Swipe left for the next trending thread