Page 13 | Instrumental teacher refusing to teach my child

MairSS · 2024-06-01T13:30:45+00:00

I just cannot believe the email I’ve just received from my child’s instrumental teacher! DS has been receiving instrumental lessons at school for a couple of terms. The music teacher is freelance and therefore parents pay fees directly to her. We pay up front each half term. She invoices us. I had overpaid by one lesson last time, and she had not realised this. I therefore sent her a message telling her to check her account. She immediately did and apologised saying she had not realised and adjusted the invoice accordingly. I wrote another message saying that in fact I always pay on time and didn’t appreciate getting messages saying I hadn’t paid when I had. She then said on reflection it may be better if I found an alternative teacher as she doesn’t tolerate rudeness and reattached her terms and conditions! surely she can’t do this? How unprofessional! I’ll be making an appointment to see the headteacher on Monday!

PossumintheHouse · 01/06/2024 14:49

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:45

theres just the one lesson which I have paid for which she had carried across onto this half terms total after I pointed out her mistake. She’s since asked for my bank details so she can refund this one lesson so there’s no money or lessons owed. I don’t want a refund though, I want my child to continue with his violin lessons, he’s only 6 and really looks forward to them!
she’s now telling me I can return the violin which she has lent us on Monday morning to school so she can collect it.
I don’t want a refund or to return the violin! Why can’t she just move on and continue to do her job which we pay for???

😂Holding her violin hostage isn't going to make her turn around and magically decide to teach your child. You've fucked it, OP.

Houseplantmad · 01/06/2024 14:48

Re-read your posts. You come across as unreasonable, rude, aggressive and unpleasant (whether you acknowledge that or not). She doesn’t have to put up with that from anyone, being freelance, and she’s told you that. She’s done it in a professional and constructive way so you need to find another teacher as you’ve burnt that particular bridge. Learn from the experience and move on.

thanKyouaIMee · 01/06/2024 14:48

Why didn't you just move on when she admitted the mistake and adjusted the invoice?

Testina · 01/06/2024 14:47

Why can’t she just move on and continue to do her job which we pay for???

Because she chooses not to tolerate rude customers 🤷🏻‍♀️

Kitkat1523 · 01/06/2024 14:47

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:45

theres just the one lesson which I have paid for which she had carried across onto this half terms total after I pointed out her mistake. She’s since asked for my bank details so she can refund this one lesson so there’s no money or lessons owed. I don’t want a refund though, I want my child to continue with his violin lessons, he’s only 6 and really looks forward to them!
she’s now telling me I can return the violin which she has lent us on Monday morning to school so she can collect it.
I don’t want a refund or to return the violin! Why can’t she just move on and continue to do her job which we pay for???

Give the fucking violin back ….take the refund or don’t….but she ain’t teaching your kid in future so move on

ilovesooty · 01/06/2024 14:46

HelpWhatIf · 01/06/2024 14:33

Yeah YABU here. She amended and apologised, you should have left it there.

Agreed. I wouldn't want you as a customer either. She's self employed and can make that decision. It's nothing to do with the headteacher, who undoubtedly has more important things to do.

LighthouseCat · 01/06/2024 14:46

Agree with everyone else here.
Are you beginning to see that you are responsible for this OP? You can't treat people like that. People make mistakes. She sorted it. Your response should have been, thank you for sorting so quickly.
Your DC will now miss out. You should still apologise to the music teacher too for being rude. I doubt she'll relent but apologising would still be the right thing to do.

WearyAuldWumman · 01/06/2024 14:45

Mansionscoldandgrey · 01/06/2024 14:42

Is she teaching your child how to play a tiny violin?

Chef’s kiss.

Sedgwick · 01/06/2024 14:45

I’m with the teacher. You are rude.

Original poster

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:45

theres just the one lesson which I have paid for which she had carried across onto this half terms total after I pointed out her mistake. She’s since asked for my bank details so she can refund this one lesson so there’s no money or lessons owed. I don’t want a refund though, I want my child to continue with his violin lessons, he’s only 6 and really looks forward to them!
she’s now telling me I can return the violin which she has lent us on Monday morning to school so she can collect it.
I don’t want a refund or to return the violin! Why can’t she just move on and continue to do her job which we pay for???

OP posts:

gamerchick · 01/06/2024 14:45

I'm sensing this isnt the first time you've pulled her up on something and been 'that' parent. Straw/camels back and all that.

You were rude, she doesn't want to deal with you and I'll bet the head will tell you she doesn't have to.

Kitkat1523 · 01/06/2024 14:44

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:37

Whether I came across as rude or not, it’s totally unacceptable, it’s my child that’s missing out. I pay for lessons and I expect them to be delivered!

Are you for real🙄
good on the teacher for calling you out….I wouldn’t want any more dealings with you either…..she won’t miss your money….. find another teacher and mind your manners in future

viques · 01/06/2024 14:44

The only thing you can do OP is put on the grovelling pads and apologise as hard as you can, acknowledge that on reflection you see that the tone of your email was rude, say it was unintentional and that you hope she will reconsider her decision as your child is enjoying the lessons and would be sad to have to stop them . Your child, your move.

User364837 · 01/06/2024 14:44

Well I guess you’ve learnt your lesson. Don’t be a dick.
she probably spends hours chasing up unpaid invoices.

Caravaggiouch · 01/06/2024 14:44

Don’t waste any more of her time and definitely don’t waste the head’s time - she’s freelance, it has nothing to do with school. I’d drop a client who sent me a shitty message like that too. If your child is missing out it’s on you for being so pissy with her after she apologised and fixed it.

SilkFloss · 01/06/2024 14:43

Yeah, on second thoughts, I don't believe this.
No one could be that entitled and rude?

justasking111 · 01/06/2024 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

titchy · 01/06/2024 14:43

Mansionscoldandgrey · 01/06/2024 14:42

Is she teaching your child how to play a tiny violin?

MoveOnTheCards · 01/06/2024 14:42

You’re ‘that’ parent OP. Just apologise and find another teacher.

Mansionscoldandgrey · 01/06/2024 14:42

Is she teaching your child how to play a tiny violin?

SilkFloss · 01/06/2024 14:42

Make sure you tell your child why it is that she can't continue with these lessons any longer; that you fucked up by being rude. Useful life lesson for her.

Glitterbiscuits · 01/06/2024 14:42

Good for her!

You were over the top OP.
People make mistakes. She apologised and corrected.

LemonCitron · 01/06/2024 14:42

Yes it's your child who is missing out - because of your own behaviour. Instead of a visit to the head you could try an apology for being rude. That's more likely to work IMO.

titchy · 01/06/2024 14:41

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:37

Whether I came across as rude or not, it’s totally unacceptable, it’s my child that’s missing out. I pay for lessons and I expect them to be delivered!

Your child is missing out because of YOUR actions. If you've already paid for this upcoming half term I'm sure the teacher will refund you.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 01/06/2024 14:41

Nothing at all to do with the headteacher.

Freelance - s/he can pick and choose.

so now you either apologise lots and lots

or you find someone for out of school hours