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Original poster

Instrumental teacher refusing to teach my child

362 replies

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:30

I just cannot believe the email I’ve just received from my child’s instrumental teacher!
DS has been receiving instrumental lessons at school for a couple of terms. The music teacher is freelance and therefore parents pay fees directly to her.
We pay up front each half term. She invoices us. I had overpaid by one lesson last time, and she had not realised this. I therefore sent her a message telling her to check her account. She immediately did and apologised saying she had not realised and adjusted the invoice accordingly. I wrote another message saying that in fact I always pay on time and didn’t appreciate getting messages saying I hadn’t paid when I had.
She then said on reflection it may be better if I found an alternative teacher as she doesn’t tolerate rudeness and reattached her terms and conditions!
surely she can’t do this? How unprofessional! I’ll be making an appointment to see the headteacher on Monday!

OP posts:
PuntasticUsername · 01/06/2024 15:00

If this isn't a reverse: your poor kid, in the middle of all this, oh and YABVU obviously

momager1 · 01/06/2024 15:00

omg @MairSS you are not only rude, you are now putting your innocent 6 year old in a terrible position. It is NOT HIS violin , It belongs to the teacher and she will either a) not put him in the position that YOU have done to him and give him the lesson, but take the violin at the end with an excuse of tuning it or whatever or B) take the violin and send him packing . I hope for his sake it is A, but B would be more a point to you that you are not in charge of her class.

Caffeineislife · 01/06/2024 15:00

Sounds like the music teacher has had a lucky escape. If she's freelance the HT can't do anything. If your emails to her are as rude as your posting style, you are going to struggle to find a replacement. Music teachers generally know one another and talk. They also have a lot of demand for their services so can generally pick and chose their students.

AgnesX · 01/06/2024 15:00

Are you for real. I'm not surprised she's pulled the plug.

Shame about your child however.

SophieJo · 01/06/2024 15:00

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/06/2024 14:57

Have you apologised to her for your rudeness, @MairSS? Because, make no mistake, you were rude.

Basically, she does not have to teach your child if she doesn’t want to - and you have no right to hang on to the violin she has lent you.

Show quote history

I totally agree. You were out of order sending the second message.

SofaSpuds · 01/06/2024 15:00

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:56

Ok I was rude. I’m not accepting this is over though. I won’t give her my bank details and so she can’t refund me. I will send DS in on Tuesday with his violin for his lesson

Fuck me! 😲

HelpWhatIf · 01/06/2024 14:59

You are unhinged.

Bigcat25 · 01/06/2024 14:59

You shouldn't have overpaid without noting it to her. It's annoying accounting for her to have to remember one random overpaid lesson maybe months later. She wants her attention on the music, not the accounting side.

Iwrotethelyricstoaxlf · 01/06/2024 14:59

Blimey

Just accept the refund, hand back the violin and draw a line under it.

How on earth do you expect your 6 year old to handle this?

WhamBamThankU · 01/06/2024 14:59

Lol

itsgettingweird · 01/06/2024 14:59

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:56

Ok I was rude. I’m not accepting this is over though. I won’t give her my bank details and so she can’t refund me. I will send DS in on Tuesday with his violin for his lesson

Ok do that.

If you'd paid for more lessons she can provide those and if you've used all your paid ones she can get the violin back from your child.

I'd honestly start picking fights you can actually win 🤷‍♀️

PossumintheHouse · 01/06/2024 14:59

Fucking lol. What subject are you revising?

2chocolateoranges · 01/06/2024 14:58

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:56

Ok I was rude. I’m not accepting this is over though. I won’t give her my bank details and so she can’t refund me. I will send DS in on Tuesday with his violin for his lesson

And this attitude shows the reason why she has cancelled your contract . She will just take her violin back on Tuesday and hand your son an envelope with the refund in it.

im sure there are plenty children wanting violin lessons on her waiting list.

school will do nothing to help as you pay her direct. Good luck with the complaint!

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 01/06/2024 14:58

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:56

Ok I was rude. I’m not accepting this is over though. I won’t give her my bank details and so she can’t refund me. I will send DS in on Tuesday with his violin for his lesson

So you are hoping that her kindness will win out and she will teach your son so as not to disappoint him?

But you still get to go through life being an arse?

Youdontknowmedoyou · 01/06/2024 14:58

What an awful and entitled attitude. Your poor child.

Hesma · 01/06/2024 14:58

Nobody who is self-employed has to do anything, including teaching the spoilt child of an entitled parent. She’s chosen not to continue to teach your child because of your passive-aggressive behaviour. A mistake was made but she rectified it so it should have been left at that. This is totally on you and your actions I’m afraid. It’s your choice not to accept a refund but that is precisely the behaviour that she shouldn’t have to deal with

viques · 01/06/2024 14:57

“I pay for lessons and expect them to be delivered”

Which is exactly what she has done, she has delivered all the lessons she was contracted to deliver. The fact is it was your error of overpaying for an additional lesson that was not in the schedule that has caused this ridiculous situation. You made a mistake, she rectified it with alacrity and grace when you pointed out your mistake, you then waded in with your size nines and tried to blame her for not spotting your mistake before you did.

VinnieVanDog · 01/06/2024 14:57

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:37

Whether I came across as rude or not, it’s totally unacceptable, it’s my child that’s missing out. I pay for lessons and I expect them to be delivered!

You were rude and now it's come back on your child - that's unfair but you need to learn a lesson.

Roundroundthegarden · 01/06/2024 14:57

Wow you are something op. Using your child like this

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/06/2024 14:57

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:45

theres just the one lesson which I have paid for which she had carried across onto this half terms total after I pointed out her mistake. She’s since asked for my bank details so she can refund this one lesson so there’s no money or lessons owed. I don’t want a refund though, I want my child to continue with his violin lessons, he’s only 6 and really looks forward to them!
she’s now telling me I can return the violin which she has lent us on Monday morning to school so she can collect it.
I don’t want a refund or to return the violin! Why can’t she just move on and continue to do her job which we pay for???

Have you apologised to her for your rudeness, @MairSS? Because, make no mistake, you were rude.

Basically, she does not have to teach your child if she doesn’t want to - and you have no right to hang on to the violin she has lent you.

GHSP · 01/06/2024 14:57

You don’t want your child to miss out? Then don’t be rude.

speakingofart · 01/06/2024 14:57

And she’ll send him back again, minus violin

Original poster
MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:56

Ok I was rude. I’m not accepting this is over though. I won’t give her my bank details and so she can’t refund me. I will send DS in on Tuesday with his violin for his lesson

OP posts:
Roundroundthegarden · 01/06/2024 14:56

MairSS · 01/06/2024 14:37

Whether I came across as rude or not, it’s totally unacceptable, it’s my child that’s missing out. I pay for lessons and I expect them to be delivered!

You should have thought of your child before you were so rude. Don't blame her either!

Deadringer · 01/06/2024 14:55

I think you were rude but I also think she over reacted. If she doesn't want to teach your child because of you that's up to her though.

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