To think it's not ok for a 17yo to spend all summer in his room

16 y dd

works about 12 hours a week term time

tends to do extra shifts in holidays

has one friend that she often does something with at least once a week

she’s does rangers once a week and karate once a week

she does like to be in her bed if she has a day doing nothing, I do think it’s important they have down time too

This in spades. He needs useful occupation or real life will come as a massive shock to him in September.

@rainman24 what is your son usually like? Does he have friends and outside interests other than gaming? I completely agree that staying in his room is very unhealthy but it’s easier to make suggestions with a bit more information on his usual routine.

Probably too much gaming this week for ds1, 16. But he has broken it up with at least temporarily visiting the real world at intervals so I've let him be.

This week he's been to one family BBQ on Sunday (about 5 hours), basketball training on Monday for 1.5 hours, out for food with friends on Tuesday for about 2 hours, basketball training again on Wednesday for 1.5 hours and a party on Thursday night where he was out 6pm-midnight. The rest of the time he's been home, gaming, sleeping or 'revising' - I have doubts as to how much revision he's actually done though. The main bulk of his GCSE's is done and he only has a couple left now.

In longer holidays (Easter, Summer, Xmas) I'm far more motivated to drag him out and about with us. I don't think a full week in a room gaming is healthy at all.

Ok, different perspective. My 17yo son will game a lot of the summer, but he gets a lot of interaction with friends while doing that. He is ND and I think being out with people takes it out of him more than others his age. His sister (also ND) got a job age 18 and only managed two weeks before stress and anxiety got too much.

I tend to think the decision needs to come from them. Work ethic can come later. It's probably partly because I was raised this way - only had one summer job in all my years in sixth form and university.

Mine had a job at that age , I do think a work ethic is a great thing to encourage and it gives them something to put on their cv

Mine got a part time job. Some gaming, but that's ok given he was working and organising himself. He also passed his driving test 8 weeks after turning 17 so spent the summer out and about.

You are right, It's not healthy. He's still a teen, under your roof. I'd sit down with him and get him to make plans for the summer. I used to get my DSs to create small achievable goals for the summers - a fitness goal, a music goal, a small fun academic goal (eg reading 1 book that interests them from each subject they are taking to A level, watch one documentary on each A level subject, listen to one podcast on each A level subject etc.) And a financial goal to save a certain amount and also to earn enough to buy or do something they really want which is slightly out of their price range. Add a couple of fun days out with you, and a short holiday somewhere, and plot the summer. Help him get a CV together, and maybe ask around friends locally if they know of any jobs going in cafes or theme parks or children's summer camps etc.

I wouldn't let a 17 yo game 24/7.
Get a job. Study. Help around the house.
Deserve your screentime/time off.

Ours have done summer school, work, friends, stuff around the house and of course gaming.

He needs a job. Nothing good is going to come from festering in his rooms for weeks in end.

working in a local nurseries, 10 mins on his bike, from 8-5,
at 17, in the summer before Uni, beefed him up, healthy,
outdoors most of the time, weary the first week, then off
to work, this turns them from schoolboys into young men

be prepared for his ravenous appetite though

No way would my 17 year old be doing that. It’s a one way street to depression. He needs a job, to join some sort of club, anything to get out and about. A few long lie ins yes but not all week.

He needs a job even if it's a part time one. Last summer (my son is doing a'levels this year) was long but he had a job doing shifts locally and it was a god send. They get bored and having their own money means they can do stuff easily outside the house when not working without asking you for cash (and them being moany when you refuse!) good luck - local cafes/ national trust places/ festivals etc are all good places to look