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AIBU?

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Original poster

What’s fair here?

94 replies

ColdExtremities · 01/06/2024 09:19

Friends A and B meet for dinner or spa days very regularly. Bill is always split 50/50 as they tend to have similar tastes in food, wine etc.

They met last night at a restaurant that both wanted to go to. On arrival, A mentions that she was a £100 voucher for that restaurant that she’s happy for them to use it towards the meal as it’s not a place she goes to often.

Both eat and drink and have a lovely night.

The bill arrives and it’s for £144.

Who should pay what?

OP posts:
Crumpleton · 01/06/2024 22:32

DappledThings · 01/06/2024 22:23

I'd have been really confused if you offered to give me £28. The paying £44 would be nice and I'd thank you for that. Adding money on top of that would be weird.

Show quote history

Why weird?

DappledThings · 01/06/2024 22:23

Crumpleton · 01/06/2024 22:07

I'd have paid half of the total bill.

The voucher was a birthday present to you, so I'd have paid the £44 on a card and given you £28 in cash.

I'd have been really confused if you offered to give me £28. The paying £44 would be nice and I'd thank you for that. Adding money on top of that would be weird.

Crumpleton · 01/06/2024 22:21

“it’s £144- do you want to split it or…?”

OP out of interest what, if anything, was the or...?

YorkNew · 01/06/2024 22:15

I don’t think the friend was saying she hoped only to pay half the £44 I think she meant does A want her to pay half the total bill.

Moonface31 · 01/06/2024 22:09

£22 each

Crumpleton · 01/06/2024 22:07

I'd have paid half of the total bill.

The voucher was a birthday present to you, so I'd have paid the £44 on a card and given you £28 in cash.

likepebblesonabeach · 01/06/2024 22:02

So by splitting it B was offering to pay £77 instead of £44?
I think you were generous but I don't think B was rude as it reads to me like she offered to pay more than you expected her to pay

WimpoleHat · 01/06/2024 21:54

You were generous; your birthday present subsidised her meal. Not harsh at all!

DappledThings · 01/06/2024 21:34

Motomum23 · 01/06/2024 19:58

But its not 'free'. If A had said my mum gave me £100 for my birthday would you expect her to pay £100 of the bill or her 50% and keep the change? Its no different.

OP you were more than reasonable and I think your friend was probably making sure you didn't want her to give you cash as well as pay the £44.

Show quote history

It's not the same. A voucher for a specific place isn't the same as someone giving you money and you choosing to spend it somewhere.

I wouldn't be bothered either way as either the voucher holder or the friend. I would happily pay £22 on top of my voucher or pay £44 as the friend. I would offer to do both.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 01/06/2024 20:13

It's an odd one for me. I'd be happy to split the difference if it was my voucher but I'd feel cheeky doing that it if was someone else's voucher!

MargaretThursday · 01/06/2024 20:11

"Splitting it" as she said it I would assume she was offering to pay £72 so you'd have got £28 back from her.

Youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers · 01/06/2024 19:59

wizarddry · 01/06/2024 19:57

But the voucher means the companion is also getting lots of theirs free.

Show quote history

Absolutely!

Motomum23 · 01/06/2024 19:58

DappledThings · 01/06/2024 19:53

I would pay £22 whether I was the voucher holder or not. I wouldn't expect my companion to pay when I was getting it for free if it was my voucher.

But its not 'free'. If A had said my mum gave me £100 for my birthday would you expect her to pay £100 of the bill or her 50% and keep the change? Its no different.

OP you were more than reasonable and I think your friend was probably making sure you didn't want her to give you cash as well as pay the £44.

wizarddry · 01/06/2024 19:57

DappledThings · 01/06/2024 19:53

I would pay £22 whether I was the voucher holder or not. I wouldn't expect my companion to pay when I was getting it for free if it was my voucher.

But the voucher means the companion is also getting lots of theirs free.

Youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers · 01/06/2024 19:56

DappledThings · 01/06/2024 19:53

I would pay £22 whether I was the voucher holder or not. I wouldn't expect my companion to pay when I was getting it for free if it was my voucher.

People are mad. This is CF territory.

DappledThings · 01/06/2024 19:53

I would pay £22 whether I was the voucher holder or not. I wouldn't expect my companion to pay when I was getting it for free if it was my voucher.

wizarddry · 01/06/2024 19:53

ColdExtremities · 01/06/2024 18:48

Right, so I’m A and it was my voucher (a birthday present from a colleague last year).

Bill arrived, friend picked it up, I put down the voucher (I’d said at the start of the night “I have a £100 voucher, I’ll put that towards our bill”), and B then said “it’s £144- do you want to split it or…?”

So I just very quickly said (in a cheery voice) “no, I’m happy to contribute the £100 from my voucher and you just put in the £44 and we’ll split the tip”.

Was wondering if I’d been too harsh.

No that's fine. Also nice of you to split the tip. Your £100 is cash basically

Moveoverdarlin · 01/06/2024 19:51

This is an obvious one. B pays £44 and then says ‘Shall we go on somewhere for a drink? My treat as we used your voucher.’

OooohAhhhh · 01/06/2024 19:34

B pays £44 as it was very kind for A to offer to share it, that's my thoughts anyway

StormingNorman · 01/06/2024 19:32

ColdExtremities · 01/06/2024 18:48

Right, so I’m A and it was my voucher (a birthday present from a colleague last year).

Bill arrived, friend picked it up, I put down the voucher (I’d said at the start of the night “I have a £100 voucher, I’ll put that towards our bill”), and B then said “it’s £144- do you want to split it or…?”

So I just very quickly said (in a cheery voice) “no, I’m happy to contribute the £100 from my voucher and you just put in the £44 and we’ll split the tip”.

Was wondering if I’d been too harsh.

CF if she was hinting to split the £44 with you 🤣

SilentSilhouette · 01/06/2024 19:24

They pay 50/50.

Friend A pays the entire bill using the voucher and card then Friend B pays Friend A £72 via bank transfer.

Or Friend A pays their share with the voucher then have a balance of £28 remaining.

Graciiee · 01/06/2024 19:20

Your friend saying split it sounds like it could have meant £72 each. That's splitting it.

TeenDivided · 01/06/2024 18:51

That's not too harsh. Your friend when saying 'split' might have meant £72 pounds each, so she might have been thinking to pay the £44 and then also pay you £28.

Original poster
ColdExtremities · 01/06/2024 18:48

Right, so I’m A and it was my voucher (a birthday present from a colleague last year).

Bill arrived, friend picked it up, I put down the voucher (I’d said at the start of the night “I have a £100 voucher, I’ll put that towards our bill”), and B then said “it’s £144- do you want to split it or…?”

So I just very quickly said (in a cheery voice) “no, I’m happy to contribute the £100 from my voucher and you just put in the £44 and we’ll split the tip”.

Was wondering if I’d been too harsh.

OP posts:
Rubbishconfession · 01/06/2024 18:17

OMG I hope B didn’t offer just £22 😮 And take the tip from the plate? 😱

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