To think it was obvious they were for the kids??

Yes - this is jealousy.

Of his own child.

I'd lock him out.

You have a big problem here.

He had no problem carting the food one way.

This is much more serious than mere thoughtlessness.

Is your DS his DS?

Yes to this.

It's all very telling.

You’ll be surprised how many actually do!
I always bake for my husband’s lunch!

Your husband is a fool.

An entitled fool.

What kind of complete idiot would think his wife baked party food for him to bring to work? What has he done for anyone in the family recently that would cause him to believe someone would prepare so many treats for him? The answer is someone who believes the family owes him.

And a fool who is living a life completely separated from the life of his own child. How could he not realise the child was ha ING friends over for a birthday celebration and out two and two together?

@Birump I hope you managed to sort out some replacement treats for your DS' birthday party today and that he had a lovely time!

I don't know what to say about your husband's behaviour. I can't imagine what possessed him to take the food for his own son's birthday gathering. It's such a spiteful, mean thing to do. Is it part of a bigger pattern?

My DH has a tendency to prioritise his own food needs over the children's e.g. he'll make himself lunch and not do anything extra for the kids. It's a terrible trait and I pull him up on it. He has wider food issues though, but that's neither here nor there.

Hopefully your DH will apologise and come home with something for DS to make up for it, but it doesn't sound too likely.

We used to have big play dates in the holidays sometimes. 🤷‍♀️

And the op did say it was an informal party, more like a play date than a party due to her child's preferences. This could also explain why it's more children than normal.

They look like vulvas! Is that why they are called jam harlots? !

You are caring
He is a dickhead
Your Mum is now a MN legend in the making.

It’s gluttonous to take all of the baked goods.
He should have asked first.

How do you know he only took a couple of sausage rolls? Op says most of the baking she did has gone - so presumable more than 2 items out of the total of 30 odd items she'd baked.

And if the op has the party today she may not have time to go shopping beforehand!

I get the sensitive images even when posting a dog!
These cakes don’t look remotely pornographic?!

This is not only an insult to you but also ruining your child's birthday. I would have rocked up at work to collect the goods (but my DH would have treble checked if he could/could not take any).

I suggest rather than make the argument about you having to reproduce the food (which he clearly doesn't care about), you make it about ruining child's party.

Right, here we go! After several iterations I think I have produced something worthy of the name 'jam harlots'. Essentially a sort of double-walled freestanding jam tart. Instead of pastry, I used the same biscuit dough I use for stained glass biscuits (it's very buttery and very forgiving). For some unaccountable reason, the posting interface is inviting me to mark these as 'sensitive images'? I can't think why.

(To be absolutely clear, these are not jam slags. I've just taken the opportunity to have a little too much fun. And, at this point, far too much jam...)

Well that poster was right when she said if she posted there would be women who would find a way to make it her fault. And you did 🙄

Count your blessings that your life has led you to the naive conclusion you reached here.

This is weaponised incompetence

”oh I didn’t know they were for ds’s birthday”
“oh it’s my house, so I thought they were fair game”.

Sorry I've completely missed the point but jam slag has ended me 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Minimizing and excusing men’s behaviour is never the path to your own peace.

Encouraging other women to minimize and excuse the shit behaviour of their partners when they speak of it, is downright irresponsible as it leads to women staying in shit relationships.

If a woman like OP says ‘my H did this shit thing. He did it on purpose’ she needs to be listened to and believed, not told this is normal behaviour to be expected of a man.

What the H did here is not normal. Eating your own child’s party food to spite your wife? I think that’s the worst (legal) behaviour I have heard from a man in the over a decade I’ve been on the relationships board. There’s a real nastiness to it.

Jam Slag?!

I read a book about a middle class woman sent to Holloway prison ( 1980’s)

She said “Manchester Tart” was called “
Manchester Slag” by her fellow Inmates.

We don't leave because they took more than their share, or something destined for another meal, that would be extreme.
We don't leave because they left a cup next to the dishwasher. We don't leave because they made a mistake and it wasn't important enough to them to put it right.
We leave because of the continual grind of being with someone who is mean, selfish, entitled and more important than anyone else.

OP I know it’s not the point of the thread but jam slags is the best typo ever

YANBU thought, how annoying and inconsiderate. I HATE it when people don’t check about food before eating iit

He should absolutely have brought it all back he's a twat and a greedy one at that. He's taken most of it! Is he planning on feeding his work colleagues too.

They do, but surely it's more important to make sure the children are getting the nutrients they need?

Yes, but most normal people meet their children's needs first ahead of their own.