To think this is a reasonable suggestion

Seriously go and get legal advice. Both suggestions have pros and cons but you need proper advice about protecting your assets from excess inheritance tax ( I know its in the future but if you get it wrong now it will be difficult to get unwound) and also other tax implications, i.e. depending how you buy the second home a chunk of stamp duty may well be payable which needs to be factored in. If the children are still at UNI the settlement might entail he has to pay until they graduate , what about his pension - you have rights to an element of that as well. It’s a minefield and huge decisions to be made when you are feeling vulnerable. Getting legal advice will help you make an informed decision based on fact not emotion which protects you and your children.

I honestly wouldn't stay entangled. What about if he gets another partner and makes a will giving her half of his proceeds of the house for example before it's sold in 5 years. That would be extremely messy.

Buying a larger property yes stings you more now but then that's worth more in a few years time and then you can downsize if you want then. You are also expecting your children to move out after 5 years, what if they don't want to?

Inheritance is yours unless you choose to use it for joint purposes. Separate bank account in your name only.

He can’t touch it.

Regardless of who's better off financially dh has probably irreparably damaged his relationship with his dc... What a tosser..
Divorce asap with financial severance before any signs of your inheritance
. Heck that's a bit rhymey!!

Split financially as soon as possible.

With your plan, his new girlfriend could move into his new flat in 6 months for example and in that case, it would be reasonable for you to expect her to pay you rent, but I'd bet that neither she nor he would agree to that 🤷‍♀️

That's just one of the obvious complications, go your separate ways financially, it will be soooo much easier in the long run.

You can split the house and change the tittle to 50/50 with a clause stating a 5 year tenancy for you and the children.

This will mean an increase in bills for you whilst he downsizes and has less outgoings. He will then benefit from a 5 year sale increase without paying for renovations.

What happens if he doesn’t contribute to the renovations or - he thinks it’s unreasonable (friend with no real bathroom at the moment is having this problem)

Who fronts the sale costs? Moving costs? Solicitor fees? and yes a deposit?

There is also the issue that he could force the sale in the future - well so could you!

I think you need legal advice.

You Amy claim legal aid if you earn less.

Who's name are the savings and the other 20K asset in? It matters if you're not married. You haven't said where the deposit for XP house would be coming from? You don't have any options unless he agrees if you're unmarried. If you haven't specified on the house the split is probably 50/50. There's no marital assets or pension splitting if you're not married either. If he agrees to the 5 year delay Id see a lawyer and see if there's some way to document and enforce that legally.

You say DP so I assume not married? If you’re not married and own the house as joint tenants then a 50/50 split of the house is the default and you each walk away with your own savings and pensions, unless you can negotiate a different kind of “fair” between yourselves.

You need a lawyer.

I think I’d reflect on the 50/50 split.

what are assets of the marriage? 440k in the home, pensions? Savings? Did you take a step back in work during childhood years?

It the bullet and just split 50/50 the kids aren’t dependents there adults

the older you get if you need a mortgage you won’t get one
a lot can change in a few years and yes your with NHS and jobs as safe as they can be that can change I’ve a few friends who jobs in the NHS has gone there services were moved to a big hospital of excellence and an where the clinics we’re combined with another department

pensions are very complex to workout speak to the professionals on that

I can see why you want this, and I can see the benefit to you in staying in the home for five years. But I think it would be a no from me, too complex with the mortgage. So just end it. The fact he instigated the split doesn’t mean he can’t get his fair share. That’s not how it works.

I wouldn’t. Agree with others, five years is a long time and the likelihood of neither of you wanting to move on in that time is slim. It’s far better to sort the practicalities now with lots of planning room and in both your terms than down the line when it might be an even less ideal time for you to sell and he’s pressuring for it to happen immediately and could force it in court.

If both children are already at university then you have less than five years of them coming home for holidays. Once they graduate and begin work they can look for house shares - perhaps not the ideal plan but perfectly normal for twenty-somethings.

Do not get involved with a mortgage on another property.

Split everything in half.

I'm sorry you have been cheated on.

I mean I wouldn't stay financially involved

OP honestly I would risk staying financially involved. Especially if you might inherit but it's up to you.

Hope you have a decent solicitor who can advise better.

BTW I hope the next phase of your life is joyful without his grinning arse in it.

I'm 57. There's been a lot of changes in the health of the men in our friendship group. It's the chance of changing health and therefore changing finances which would be my worry. If it isn't a worry for you, then your plan is ideal. Expect a big change while he's wooing the other woman (or even the next one). You need everything setting out legally. However area I live in is up and coming and property prices are soaring, so I could see a two bed going up by at least £20k in five years. I'd rather a 60/40 divorce. If grandchildren come along, adult children move away etc you might want that extra bedroom anyway.

If you are suggesting you stay in the house for 5 years, where will he live? Does he have to wait for 5 years to get any money?

I think you might regret remaining financially entangled, once a new partner is involved OP. Get a solicitor ASAP, to ensure you are treat fairly, and havw a clean split also ASAP.

Where is the deposit for his property coming from?

If you took a larger share of your property could you buy him out?

I'd rip the plaster off.

Sell up, split 60/40 in your favour to reflect your need to buy bigger. Divorce