MIL thinks having c-section isn’t “giving birth”

I had 2 emc and with second one if I wasn't able to get a section we'd both be dead. Tell her to shut the fuck I'm

Ignore her. She's trying to find away to put you down.

I have done both.

I do feel like the phrase “giving birth” is suggestive of labour - contractions, pushing, crowning etc.

It’s not a judgmental thing, just what is conjured up when I think of the phrase. Which doesn’t really make sense because obviously with a c-section there has been a birth; your child has been born.

Maybe your MIL equates “giving birth” with labour in the same way. In which case I wouldn’t get offended (and I think the pp who called her an “entitled cow” is really out of line). It could be its just a different interpretation.

Yanbu. You gave birth via c-section and anyone who thinks otherwise can fuck off!

It could just be semantics but it seems like a bigger issue with MIL most likely. I had 2 c-sections and have no issues with how some interpret this phrase or use it. It might be used more for vaginal births in the wordings people use.

Who cares what she thinks? There's no medal for giving birth a certain way. Nothing about vaginal birth sounded even vaguely appealing to me, so if a c sections means I didn't "give birth" that's fine with me!

This. Tell her to fucking do one OP.

Her baby is born and she has clearly had an absolutely horrendous time and deserves all of the praise and accolades for what's been through, and not someone splitting hairs to define whether or not that constitutes 'giving birth' or not.

I think people will always have their weird ideas re giving birth and having babies- was at a hen and they were talking about everything- babies/ birth/ sleep and I kept quiet because I knew out of the 4 of us that had kids I was the only one that hadn’t breast fed. One of my other friends said nothing and then made a comment that she couldn’t comment as she had ‘only had a c section’. I was like wtf you were amazing for what you went through and there was no difference- you had a baby, and then afterwards she gave out to me (laughing) because she realised the reason I don’t talk about night feeds is because I didn’t breast feed. She said ‘god we all find reasons to whip ourselves don’t we?!’ (But I know she still feels the same way and I still feel uncomfortable talking feeding years later!)

I agree with you. Idiotic responses.

Having a c section is giving birth. Just as bottle feeding is feeding.

And what the woman has an EMCS after going through hours of labour?

She’s ridiculous. I had to have a c section due to the placenta completely covering the birth canal so there was a huge chance myself and DD wouldn’t be here now if I didn’t have caesarean.

Your MIL is William Shakespeare, presumably. Does she call it being from the mother's womb untimely ripped instead?

But, Macbeth references aside, giving birth by C section is still giving birth.

It's a phrase with a lot of meaning attached which different people interpret and relate to differently. I see giving birth as the physiological process a woman's body goes through through to expell the baby. In a CS a woman's body doesn't go through the same system of ejection. The baby is Still born though. Labour is a pretty active process and a c section isn't, but really nobody should be commenting on how anyone's baby's was born except to say 'well done!'

I've had two ELCS. I don't think I'd describe it as 'giving birth' because when I think of a woman giving birth I think of labour. But you are actually right I guess, its just not how I'd describe it myself.

Your MIL sounds like a dick to be arguing with you over this kind if thing. I'm guessing there's probably a back story of her being difficult in general.

Direct your mil to the dictionary definition.
A child has exited your body.
They may have used the emergency exit but it’s still valid and more importantly safe.

Out the two I'd choose vaginal birth, I don't know how you c section ladies cope with the recovery it's major surgery 🙈 she knows nothing op

I got very depressed when I first had my C-section because I felt like I had failed. It really impacted the first few weeks of time with my baby as I felt like I didn’t deserve him/he didn’t belong to me as I didn’t see him being born as such. It really affected me that I hadn’t been the first one to hold my son and my expectation about the birth experience was so far from reality.

However I had to have a C-section due to IUGR and my baby would have been at risk if he was born ‘naturally’. Your MIL needs to be careful at the language she’s using as I think this can be a very emotive topic.

It's just a form of words. Ignore. Don't sweat the small stuff.

When I had my c sections I felt like walking around with a big red F for Failure on my forehead because that's how I was feeling.
Because of such negative associations with it from some of the childbirthing community.
In fact, c sections were barely touched on in my antenatal sessions like it was some dirty little secret.
It pisses me off a lot that I gave myself such a hard time about it, when my post birth hormones left me very fragile anyway.
Now I am very grateful for having live and healthy babies and people like her should be told to stfu.

Cool, that means when it's DDs birthday you don't have to invite MIL, because surely in her mind the child doesn't have a birthday if you haven't given birth to her.

If it's something she refers to frequently then shut her down "MIL, your poor choice of words makes it sound like you're trying to minimize my birth experience. Let's be clear, a C-section is not a cop out. It's major abdominal surgery that gave my DD a safe entrance into this world. It's really irrelevant how DD was delivered from my body."

YANBU op. Can’t believe some of the idiotic CFs on this thread.

If you look up ‘giving birth’, it just means to produce/create a baby from your body. It doesn’t mention the method. It just means your body grew a baby and it was born. The baby via c section is also ‘born’ isn’t it. So of course you gave birth to it. I’ve had 2 c sections, once emergency, and one planned due to being transverse and very stuck.

It’s an interesting one (I’ve had a vaginal birth and a planned CS, for context).

I think that anyone who considers a CS not giving birth does so on two grounds:

1. In a CS, the woman is ‘passive’ ie it’s just happening to her; and
2. In a CS, the woman isn’t required to put in as much ‘work’.

The first one is easily discounted because in a “natural” birth which goes to plan, actually the woman is quite ‘passive’ as well, because the birth experience is something that happens to her rather than something she’s actively doing. Try to tell a birthing woman to stop the baby coming out of her vagina and see whether or not she’s controlling it or merely a passenger in her birth too 😁

Secondly the amount of ‘work’. I know people who’ve gone through much more work/hardship/sacrifice for a CS than a vaginal birth. Thinking of friends who’ve had GD, spent 5 months on a restricted diet, had breech/transverse babies that they’ve attempted to spin, failed inductions, etc… compared to a couple of friends who have had what they describe themselves as ‘sneeze births’. Not to mention the recovery (recovery from my first, 24 hours of active labour, failed epidural and episiotomy, was broadly comparable to my second, a very calm ELCS). Also, there’s something very misogynistic about awarding the term giving birth as a measure of the pain you’ve been through.

So after a lot of thought I think you’re NBU and your MIL is being silly. I’d love her to explain her thinking though.

If she feels judged it's because she is being judged tbf! I wouldn't appreciate that at all tbh. I've not had a c sec but from what I've heard from close friends and family, they are not a walk in the park by any stretch. It's nobody else's bloody business to be commenting like that anyway.

In what context is your MIL commenting? Because regardless of terminology it's rude to correct what you want to name your experience of having a baby.