MIL thinks having c-section isn’t “giving birth”

She’s stupid then… “giving birth“ isn’t the correct term, anyway - it’s “Childbirth” where you’re “being delivered of” a baby safely, and it doesn’t make any difference which method of delivery is used (except that you might need longer to recover from a c-section.
She does know that a c-section is the modern term for “a Caesarean section” right? AFAIK, Julius Caesar was delivered this way - hence the name for thousands of years. Either way, you’ve been delivered of a baby and have therefore experienced childbirth…

That's really interesting, I would still say gave birth if someone popped one out on their lunch break at work. To me it simply means 'had a baby'. I never thought there was a certain level of effort (or lack thereof) implied.

The semantics are interesting.

I had csections and wouldn’t describe them as “giving birth”. I’m not sure why because the first was an emCS after a prolonged failed induction so I had contractions galore and was fairly flattened by the whole process. But I wouldn’t normally dream of arguing the point with someone who would use the term for their section.

It sounds like your MIL is trying to make you feel lesser over this, which is fairly cunty really. In which case it’s still
technically semantics but also she’s a dick.

It’s your DD’s birth! She was born! Who could possibly have given birth to her? One guess! It was you!

Why on earth does your MIL need to say this? What does she get out of it? If she says it again, ask who actually did give birth to her. There may have been a whole team involved in her birth but the only indispensable person there was you!

I get why this is offensive, it's not something I'd say. But is it an old-fashioned thing? It's a plot point of Macbeth - Macduff can kill him because he wasn't 'born of woman' but taken from his mother's womb...? Either way, it's a stupid thing for your MIL to say.

Interesting opinions on here…. I had an instrumental vaginal birth during which I was barely conscious. Does that mean I didn’t “give birth” either? I would have actually been more mentally present during a c-section. Or is the exit hole the one that defines “giving birth”?

But a c sec isn't claiming to be a vag birth. It's just a different type of birth. I'm finding this difficult to wrap my head around tbh!

Well technically it's not a vaginal birth, no. It's a surgical procedure that bypasses much of the physical experience.

Why do you care?

Isn't birth just the exit though? Like, it doesn't matter whether it was the lift or the fire escape as such?

I got to ten cm dilated and was pushing with my first c section, I absolutely feel that I gave birth, it took days and lots of work.

My planned cs I am pleased that I feel I absolutely did not have to give birth.

Op, you've done a marvellous and wonderful thing , creating a new human life for your mother in law to love. Don't engage with her over this any longer.

I don't think of my C-section as "giving birth". I had some pretty big surgery and they cut a baby out of me. I would never say I gave birth to my daughter. She was born or delivered.

Same here.

I’ve always thought of vaginal birth as giving birth, whereas with CS the baby is surgically removed from your uterus. There’s absolutely no judgement in it though.

Why do you think you feel that way though? Obviously it's up to you however you want to label your child's birth, but you did actually give them birth iyswim? You birthed them. I find that very strange but as I say, not had a c section so happy to be corrected.

I couldn't waste my time and anger on this.

Just ignore her? Unless of course you feel like there's some truth in it which is why you are upset?

You brought a healthy and happy baby into the world, that's all that should matter.

I had a C section and I don't think I gave birth as to me that does imply natural vaginal birth. I had major surgery which was probably worse with all the recovery that entails! It wouldn't bother me if she just said it offhand but obviously if she's saying it to be dismissive or critical of what you went through that's very different.

YANBU. Either get your DP to tell her that her attitude is hurtful, or just add 9 months to your babies age in conversations with the in-laws. So, MIL says -aww, look at my GC 6 months old- you say - oops, baby hasn’t been born, I’m 15 months pregnant.

I never would have thought that at all tbh. In my head, 'giving birth' equalled baby exiting mums body. Genuinely never considered the method to discount that wording.

It’s probably just interpretation of the word. I do think giving birth relates more to vaginal birth as it’s the process of giving birth the woman has gone through to push the baby out. A C section someone else has cut the baby out. It doesn’t make it lesser though and the baby is of course still born, it’s just different.

Your MIL sounds like a bitch, what a horrible comment

Well - if you didn’t give birth, she isn’t a grandmother (same lack of logic).

Don’t allow her to upset you, OP. What she says is in no way relevant, and if she keeps going with more and more of the same bullshit, it will impact her relationship with you, your partner and your children.

Who cares what she thinks? There's no medal for giving birth a certain way. Nothing about vaginal birth sounded even vaguely appealing to me, so if a c sections means I didn't "give birth" that's fine with me!

Same. I had two planned c sections (for medical reasons) and to be honest, I didn't have a single contraction or any of the pain of labour so I don't feel like I really gave birth.

And, hearing my friebds' experiences, it was bloody great! I lay back, someone else did the hard work and out they came. I genuinely couldn't care less what people think about the birth, I carried them, I've brought them up so, the birth is irrelevant to me.

It's major surgery going through 9 layers, with many potential complication to major organs especially in emergency situation. Anyone talking this shit clearly has no clue on the pain of one

Anyone who says a c section is not giving birth is an ignorant arsehole