MIL thinks having c-section isn’t “giving birth”

I disagree

The language of childbirth is entrenched with misogynist concepts of failure.

Why do women insist on reinforcing them?

Well this is a projection of a post if ever I saw one

@VeterinaryCareAssistant has absolutely NOT made out other women to be lesser. At all. You’ve made it up. If YOU feel that way that’s absolutely about how you feel about your child’s birth and nothing to do with anyone else.

I have no idea if the technical term ‘giving birth’ is incorrect when it comes to a c-section. I don’t know why it matters because it’s just semantics.

You were pregnant and brought a baby into the world via <insert scientific term>.

It all just feeds into the ‘mum guilt’ BS where we’ve been told we have to feel bad if we didn’t do X Y Z. Don’t feed the trolls by actually feeling bad!

Well you have a very ignorant and offensive mentality then.

You are judging a woman as lesser because she had a medical reason for not pushing a baby out of her fanny. Why?

Why is it so important to distinguish between the two? To feel superior?

I suspect this is not the only way to undermine you

unfortunately the only way to deal with it is to grey rock her. stop caring what she thinks

I associate 'giving birth' with a vaginal birth. C-section is more 'delivered'. I've had both by the way.

It's a silly notion but I can see where the idea comes from. Even in obstetrics terms a section will be called a section. A vaginal delivery will be referenced as a "normal delivery".

No, a straightforward vaginal delivery is referred to as an SVD. Which stands for a spontaneous vertex delivery. You can also have assisted breech, or a Venteuse or forceps delivery with the type of forceps specified.

Never had a c section but I've always viewed it as the harder way to give birth. Cutting through my entire tummy to gain access to the baby. They don't do c sections for no reason most of the time so you have made the tricky decision to do what is best for your baby even if it means you will be left in more pain.

I had a c section, I do still consider it a birth and I've only had 1 child so I can't compare whether it was easier or harder, but I don't think it's always the hardest option.

I genuinely had very little pain. My friend who has had 3 c sections has struggled with all of them, so I'd got myself worked up in a frenzy about how it was going to be absolutely horrible recovering, especially as our house was a 3 storey town house so all stairs.

It felt like I'd probably done an ab workout for the first time in years, but that was the extent of it for me.

I think some women who have vaginal births would have taken a longer time to recover.

All this waffle just to say all births are valid births, but if any ones reading this and is terrified of an upcoming c section, don't be. Pain might be inevitable but it isn't always unmanageable or always uncomfortable.

@Maddie212

No I don't get it.

That's a shame. It's not hard really. Very simply.

Telling a woman who has given birth via c section that in your opinion she hasn't given birth because you have a 'different idea' about things is considered by many to be rude, offensive and can be upsetting.

It's not nice or polite to be rude, offensive or to upset people.

You don't need to understand that but if you don't want to be a dick then do t do it.

Imagine undermining another woman's birth experience so you can feel superior

Sorry, you jumped the gun on this one. You told a random person to fuck off because you disagreed with their polite comment, that had nothing to do with you.

Chill. It's not that deep.

"When a woman or female animal gives birth, she produces a baby or young animal from her body"

Imagine undermining another woman's birth experience so you can feel superior

No I don't get it. I wish I had problems like this.

If the MIL actually said something nasty (like the examples I gave), absolutely. That's not how it comes across on the OP. At all.

I've had a few Csecs.
They cut your tummy open and ripped a baby from inside you op.
And lo your child was born.
Don't worry, you deffo gave birth!
Ignore your stupid MIL.

Imagine telling someone to fuck for describing their own experience

@Maddie212

Why would you be offended at someone having a different idea of the phrase 'giving birth'? Seriously?

If you are still asking the question after reading all these explanations- then you aren't getting it.

And if you still don't get it then at least try to understand that you cause upset and offeence when you use a phrase that suggests a wonan has not given birth just because it's your 'different' idea.

It's polite to not cause offence.

Oh do fuck off.

I can understand where she's coming from. My first baby was by section. I had abdominal surgery. I was very sore for weeks after. I have a scar. But I didn't feel like I'd "given birth".

I had 3 vaginal deliveries afterwards and felt my recovery was much quicker.

It's a silly notion but I can see where the idea comes from. Even in obstetrics terms a section will be called a section. A vaginal delivery will be referenced as a "normal delivery".

Don't pay heed to your MIL. Through the course of your life and your baby's life you will hear a lot of other opinion and advice that will annoy you. Don't dwell on it. It's not important to your life.

Why would you be offended at someone having a different idea of the phrase 'giving birth'? Seriously?

Nobody had been unkind here. Nobody has said 'you're not a real mum, you didn't do it the real way' - or, 'you missed out on the most amazing thing'.

Obviously the woman has 'given birth' but it's not strictly what people think of when they hear that phrase. We're not all robots who adhere to the exact dictionary definitions.

She's an idiot.

If you want to shut her up, say "I know it's not giving birth properly, but at least my vag is still nice and tight for your boy" and then wink.

MIL is being a moo.

If DP can't persuade her to shut up simply don't tell her when your precious bundle is born. After all, according to her you didn't give birth.

Giving birth is pushing a baby through the birth canal, a c-section is a delivery via c-section. Both result in a baby being born, however they are different.

No, if a baby is born, it’s had a birth, someone must have given birth to it. It’s not the stork that delivered it! Or it’s not adopted. Method of delivery isn’t relevant.

I’m pretty sure my MIL has no idea which hole my DS exited from.

I’ve never given the difference a moments thought with mine or anyone else’s births for that matter.