Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL thinks having c-section isn’t “giving birth”

240 replies

Newmum288 · 01/06/2024 05:47

Which offends me! I had a c-section. My daughter was born. She still has a birthday. If I didn’t birth her, how the heck is she here?!

YABU - a c-section isn’t “giving birth”
YANBU - a c-section is still “giving birth”

OP posts:
HalebiHabibti · 01/06/2024 06:15

I think your MIL is using her words poorly. If she is trying to say that you haven't experienced the full gamut of (horrible) vaginal birth, then she's right. If she's trying to minimise the fact that your body has been through the wringer to produce her grandchild, then she is wrong.

I do also think c section timing plays a role here. Elective c section from a standing start = no labour pains; emergency c section halfway through labour = loads of labour pains thank you very much!

rickyrickygrimes · 01/06/2024 06:13

‘Give birth’ is quite an old fashioned phrase, but I agree with your mil to an extent. In my head ‘giving birth’ means all the biological processes that occur to ‘birth’ a baby from its mother’s body. A c-section is a major surgical intervention which results in a baby being safely brought out of its mother’s body, and quite a different process.

But both (hopefully) resulting in a baby being safely brought into the world. Of course babies born by c-section have a birthday! It’s just that it’s a word / phrase that predates the more widespread availability of c-sections and other interventions.

Inyourwildestdreams · 01/06/2024 06:10

Tell MIL to keep her opinions to herself! You physically had your body cut open to birth your child - you have definitely “given birth” 👍🏻

I’ve had one vaginal birth and I’ve had abdominal surgery for another reason and I can assure you, I would not be rushing back into the abdominal surgery! C-section mums don’t get enough credit as it is IMO without people like your MIL harping on like that 🙄

Ponoka7 · 01/06/2024 06:08

I agree that I wouldn't get in discussion with her. I see a C section as surgery and most of the time women don't get the post op care that they need. There's a difference in a planned section and an emergency one, after a woman has laboured for a while etc. But it's really important that we (women) don't set our selves up in competition.

Ownedbymymainecoon · 01/06/2024 06:04

I've only had a c-section, and in my mind I had surgery instead of giving birth.

If it really bothers you, is it because you feel judged or like you failed in some way? I'd explain it to you MIL and request her to simply drop the topic entirely.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 01/06/2024 06:00

Of course it’s giving birth. The definition of birth is just a baby coming out of their mother. It doesn’t matter how. Ignore her she’s being ridiculous.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 01/06/2024 06:00

She’s being an entitled cow… I would have big problems with someone saying this, my DD was born by emergency c section if I hadn’t had a c section then and there she might now have survived… call her out everytime

skippy67 · 01/06/2024 05:58

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 01/06/2024 05:54

It's just the wording.

If I had a c-section I would say I 'had a baby' rather than I 'gave birth to a baby'.

But it really makes no difference in the grand scheme of things.

Really?!
I've had two babies. Vaginally. I would never say "I've given birth". That sounds weird.

skippy67 · 01/06/2024 05:55

You know the answer to your question. Just ignore the silly moo.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 01/06/2024 05:54

It's just the wording.

If I had a c-section I would say I 'had a baby' rather than I 'gave birth to a baby'.

But it really makes no difference in the grand scheme of things.

sesquipedalian · 01/06/2024 05:53

Your MIL is crazy - all she should be concerned about is the well-being of you and your daughter. All I wanted for my daughter was that she and the baby were both OK - I said to her before the baby was born that it doesn’t matter how he arrives as long as you’re both Ok and you’re just as much of a mother however your son arrives into the world. She didn’t have a Caesarian but she did have an epidural - would the OP’s MIL regard that as “cheating”? I really can’t believe some women.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/06/2024 05:53

She's rude - get your DP to have a word

Changedforthetoday · 01/06/2024 05:51

Tell her to do one - and ignore her.

AlbertVille · 01/06/2024 05:48

I’ve done both… it definitely is giving birth.

RampantIvy · 01/06/2024 05:48

Ignore her. Having a c-section is delivering a baby safely.

Swipe left for the next trending thread