MIL thinks having c-section isn’t “giving birth”

It’s like using the train to climb Snowdon. You still got to the top but some people look down on it and say it’s not really climbing. But it’s just a different way and it is fully legit too, don’t let people judge, take the train!

I’ve had 2 c sections and wouldn’t say I’ve given birth.

I've had 2 children, by surgery, but I haven’t in my eyes given birth.

@DeadButDelicious

Ugh, my brother in law once opined that he didn't agree with c sections as he didn't think that women should be able to "choose" the day the baby was born.

The midwife decided it would be better to induce me (1 day before she was due) and 2 days before my husband had 2 weeks leave from Afghanistan that way it would all be done for when he got home. That resulted in an emergency section. I should have refused.

This is actually very common with IVF babies and comments from family too.

Glad your Dc1 arrived safely for roll call 😄

yeah… no.

but if your not able to understand that claiming something in particular is natural then by default anything else beyond that is unnatural or non natural than that’s on you.

Maybe it’s because I work in maternity I’m around it daily - it’s obviously not something that effects you.

It doesn’t effect me personally- but it does effect a lot of women and their prei natal mental health.

Op she's probably just being 'literal' as many people think the term 'give birth' refers to pushing a baby through the birth canal. It doesn't mean a caesarean birth is in some way less worthy.

You grew and nurtured your baby all by yourself for 9 months, what does it matter how the baby then was born. Ignore her!

Ok, I don't think some nutter born a century ago, who thinks her own grandchild should be dead, really sets a precedent. She sounds completely batshit.

@Hugosmaid it's only you calling c-sections unnatural. I don't understand your point.

get you're making a point but this isn't a real problem that people like OP's MIL think surgical deliveries are against god and nature. Nobody cares

My grandmother told me dc1 was an abomination because he wasnt meant to survive so I'm not so sure about that. Passing on my defective genes and all...

No - you don’t care.

A lot of other women do.

Why is it not natural?

And most births are non-natural. Even gas and air is arguably not natural.

@Hugosmaid ok but nobody had called c sections 'unnatural'. I get you're making a point but this isn't a real problem that people like OP's MIL think surgical deliveries are against god and nature. Nobody cares

The opposite of natural is non-natural.

Ugh, my brother in law once opined that he didn't agree with c sections as he didn't think that women should be able to "choose" the day the baby was born

If you want to really wind him up, I was given the choice of 07.06.05 or 08.06.05 for my first section so chose the first one as it's easier to remember.

Ugh, my brother in law once opined that he didn't agree with c sections as he didn't think that women should be able to "choose" the day the baby was born. Never mind complications or necessity, it was just us pesky women trying to get out of the work. He's a numpty and so is your MIL.

I've done it both ways and would choose a c section every time.

Yep but one of them is only classed as natural. Vaginal birth no pain relief.

So by that thinking all my three births were unnatural. My children started their life in an ‘unnatural’ way.

1 vaginal with G&A
2 Emergency CS
3 Planned CS

All of the three were just classed as successful births to me - I went home with live babies.

All this went completely over my head until I started working with pregnant women who shared their feelings about it and went on to the birth trauma boards. We just celebrated C-Section awareness month a short while back.

But yes I do think we should try and move forward with the language around this.

The very definition of a natural birth is no medication or intervention.

You made a point about how my births must have been easy. They weren’t and if you have given birth yourself you know that is impossible. My vagina didn’t spring open and a child placed in my arms. It was hard work but manageable for me. Yes it hurt, yes I was tired out but I did not want anything for it.

Anyone who is at risk during birth should absolutely have every intervention going. Anyone who decides they want intervention at any point should absolutely have it.

Anyone who chooses/has the lucky option to go through birth without intervention should also be able to have it and call it what it is without someone rocking up and saying it was an easy birth and do you want a medal? Just as bad as the ops mil in that case.

@Hugosmaid If I hear the term "natural" I'd assume no intervention, pushing the baby out on my own. As it was, my vaginal births had a lot of intervention with babies literally being dragged out.

I really don't care either way. My end goal was a healthy baby however it exited my body. Can't say I am fussed if that is natural, normal, unnatural, extraordinary...

I guess my point is, saying vaginal = natural and C-section = unnatural, isn't that simple because there's a whole spectrum of births.

See I say I didn't give birth to my first but I did to my second.

What does a ‘natural birth’ mean to you?

I don't think either two of my vaginal births were natural or normal. They both involved medications and interventions. Same as my EMCS.

Natural does equal ‘better’

These are all words associated with it - organic, healthier, essential, instinctive, universal, good.

Non Natural -
abnormal, irregular, unreasonable, irregular bad.

Words are actually very important.

You tell a child they are stupid - they will believe you

You tell your wife she is fat she will believe you

You tell a nation a women can have a penis important legislation is changed to the detriment of real women because some people actually believe you.

So actually yeah - words are really important

But I see you’ve also nudged on to having a medication free child birth is natural.

Why do you think it’s unnatural to have pain relief? Do you think the vast majority of women get through child birth without it? You were extremely lucky to have an easy birth. Have a look on the birth trauma birds on Facebook to look at the reality of too many women who had to have intervention and medication and are left feeling ‘unnatural’ and failures because of engrained language around this

There are so many social media platforms that advocate that ‘drug free’ ( pain relief medication’) is the natural way. Why would they want women to suffer? I’m natural - your not - resonates through out that wording

Even the wording ‘drug free’ sounds like you’re giving up ‘drugs’. What kind of drugs? Smack, crack, spice?

Words are very important.

People overthink the use of words. It is a natural birth when you go into labour and give birth naturally with no intervention or medication. People arguing it are just making the word far more important than it is!

I had a natural delivery. No interventions or medications because I didn’t need anything. My child was not at risk, I was not at risk. I get to call it what I want though.

I don't use the term natural birth myself BTW, I was just responding to a pp question 'What is natural?'as if it couldn't be defined. Natural doesn't equal better. Chemo is not natural and many people owe their lives to it! So I don't have any hang up with it myself and I would be very careful around this type of language/birth/feeding etc with other women. I don't see a c section as unnatural BTW, but as . necessary intervention, that's all.