To tell colleague people are chatting behind her back

Don't tell her.

I'm sure it won't make her feel better by knowing about the backstabbing.

I know this so t the point of your post/ answering you Q but it’s concerning that it’s known she is being sexually harassed by clients, but this is normalised and she is not being protected by the organisation because the clients bring in a certain amount of money.

that combined with the awful comments colleagues seem comfortable to say in front of a large group screams of a toxic work environment.

One day she will likely be all their bosses so karma will out here!

Mumsnet threads would have us believe that all men are battered or pathetic

I have no idea what I typed, for autocorrect to turn it into 'battered'! But hopefully you get my gist!

I agree with all of this. This is the way you support someone in this situation.

But something else also stood out to me. You said in your OP that your colleague is sexually harassed by clients. This should never be tolerated by any company, and you seem to think that it’s just what she has to put up with if the clients bring in enough money. Well, it’s not. Sexual harassment is a crime under the Equality Act, and if you and your company are telling her that she needs to suck it up because it brings in profits, that’s a tribunal waiting to happen.

This sounds like a revolting place to work, all round.

My lovely uncle is very grand and old school remember him simply saying he didn’t criticise anyone behind their backs as “they are not there to defend themselves”. Liked the simplicity of that.

Nah. Most of the time people know if something is being said behind their backs. If she is that smart, she can read the room and report it her self. She probably has her own reasons not to.

"I'm not really into talking about people like this behind their back so I'm going to head off. Have a good night."

I've used variations of this before when bitching has happened. When it starts, not when it's already been 15/30 minutes of character assassination of someone not there. I was too old for it even in my 20s, it's such nasty and embarrassing behaviour.

Don't tell her because the messenger will be shot and the people who bitched about her will deny it . This will come back on you op.

I wouldn't email HR ccing in the world and their wife. I think will just get everyone's back up and senior and HR colleagues will underplay it to protect themselves. Nor would I speak to the bullying victim.

As another posters have said, be a friend to the colleague that is being talked about. By doing it this way, you are quietly stating your position.

Someone once told me that if you witnessed someone being badly treated in the workplace, and you didn't feel able to speak up, you should use body language. Could be as simple as moving physically closer to the person being targeted. Or not engaging/looking away from the person who is initiating it.

Mumsnet threads would have us believe that all men are battered or pathetic, and a woman can do no wrong. But here we have the reality.

No, you don't tell her and destroy her confidence and get job. You mentor her and you defend her actively to these people. You were in the urgent position to do so, having been at her interview, but instead you ingratiated yourself with the bitches by empathising with them instead of defending her

When this comes up again, as it will, you swallow your social anxiety and actively put them right about her abilities and her selection.

Perfect advice. Put your focus on being nice to her. If the bitching was done in the pub, I wouldn’t trust the alcohol anyway. And I wouldn’t go drinking with the bitching women anymore.

We are all also aware though that she is often subjected to male clients being flirtatious or even just sexually harassing her. If they bring enough money to the firm though there is little she can do

Well that's fucking disgusting for a start

Now while this is bullying - 2 people from HR were there and part of it and the chief investment officer was there and said nothing

I'd still go to HR with it as it will have to be dealt with. Just because 2 members of HR joined in, that doesn't mean they should get away with it. And if the CIO didn't say anything then maybe they themselves are holding on to it before returning to work

Please don’t tell her, she will have had a life time of this, and be fully aware of how some people behave, men being flirty, women being bitchy. Nothing good can come from it, leave her alone.

Those women were just showing themselves up. If they are not doing this to her face then there is no bullying here. She is unaware and needs to remain so.
If they start making her life unpleasant, that is when she/ you report it higher.
In the meantime, try and be braver in such discussions. It sounds like you were almost agreeing with them Just a comment like " she can hardly help how beautiful she is" or " I actually really like her and she does a great job"

That's the view that the school took when DD was being bullied.

People who felt I “ought to know” what was being said about me were at least as bad as the ones who said it in the first place.

Never be that person.

Don't tell her, it'll achieve nothing and potentially cause harm. I'd also distance myself from the people slagging her off. Imagine what they say about you behind your back!

But I would pull the CIO to one side and have a chat with him about their behaviour, he was whiteness to it so is aware.

It's plain old jealousy, I've worked in finance and I also found the women there to be awful! It's almost like it breeds a culture of getting ahead means to tear down other women. I left and work in a different industry now.

No do not tell her, if they are being horrible to her face and making her feel uncomfortable then it is up to her to report that but she doesn’t need to know about some bitchy comments outside of work. They’ve probably gossiped about everyone at some point.

She shouldn’t have to put up with sexual harassment though - this is a separate issue.

The problem is HR were part of it. I'm not sure if it's the time to tell her but I certainly wouldn't be socialising with people who were slagging her off. Although I suppose you already know what they will say about you behind your back when you aren't present.

Agree with everyone else. Be her friend. Do not tell her what people were saying in the pub. It would be horrible for her to hear that. She will probably win them round in time anyway if she is as nice as you say she is.

If she is tall, slim, blonde, athletic and intelligent, as you say, she will already know because other women will have done that to her since she was about 16.

It's how small minded and ignorant women behave, And it's constant. It won't let up until she loses her looks or hits her 50s.

I hope she has learned to cope with it.

It's not bullying it's bitching.

I'd report to hr but I wouldn't tell her. What will it achieve other than knocking her confidence? I'd also refuse to engage in this kind of chat around her and swiftly change the topic of conversation or remove myself for the situation. She simply won't be the only person they bitch about, it's nasty very juvenile behaviour.

Don’t tell her. Do stick up for her and be her friend.